Updates updates!!!!!!!!!!
Work: boss is a painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...... but the quality officer is really cool! I'm running correlations for different dengue kits, for both antibodies and also antigen detection. It is nice to perform a study and to have a report with your name printed below!! :D The scientist in me delights in the little things that define the sensitivity and specificity of the kits! Yeaa yea...me a nerd, me knows...:P
Life: I am soooooooo glad to be able to separate my LIFE from WORK! Haha...that makes me the happiest thing alive! :) Let's see....I'm getting the hang of chanting for Vespers..Cantor-ing is challenging (with me creating a 'new tune' every now and then..:P). It is empowering to be able to chant in Latin, to learn so many Latin hymns and canticles. My father would have been proud of me. Currently trying to master the solemn Salve Regina..mallismatic chants are tough...
The preparation for the PAG team is pretty cool too. We are now planning for the training camp coming up on the second weekend of July. Mostly on community living..and about living a Christ centred life in the secular world. Also, empowering them to take up responsibilities and learning accountability...It is enriching watching them grow from strength to strength!
On top of that, the Catholic Students Society of my old university called me to conduct a session or two for their upcoming Exco Planning Camp. It was heart warming to get juniors who have no clue who I am to call me to give a talk and impart some of the experience I had as a President 3 years ago. I was mostly touched that the juniors remembered the work I put in for them...and once again, I must remember to thank the Lord for working wonders through me at my weakest times...I was a wreck back then, and yet something so beautiful came out of it...Sigh..amazing huh?
The module we are working on based on the Purpose Driven Life is slowly taking shape... It is amazing to see the work Natalie put up...I was impressed with the questions she asked, and it was a very fruitful meeting..I am excited to try it for university students as we have planned it to be...
Unfortunately, the love life has been a pain..Lol. Nothing is perfect eh? It is hard to put my trust completely in the Lord in all things. I think it just feels so bad because I can't seem to be ble to open my heart to the few guys who seem interested...but i guess it is for good reasons la...one lives an immoral life...and has no plans of changing it..another is too young for me..There is still one who has been there for me through so many things, but i think cannot la...too young...Sometimes it does get the better of me..I can end up crying for no apparent reason....I just have to drag myself in prayer to sustain me...nothing else does it....Sigh...difficult eh?
My family is doing fantastic..I am so happy that my 2nd brother is now working in KL as well....now I really feel likeI have someone to rely on here in KL....I am sooooooo relieved and I really thank God for it...He has been looking after me all these years..in uni I had my faithful Bryan,Rubern, Cheese and Chia wei looking out for me..then Kevin came around...and now my brother is here...I am lucky...
oh well...all's well and fine I guess......ciao.............
Love, Pebblesssss
Monday, 21 June 2010
Monday, 24 May 2010
emotions and a girl
If you are a woman, you will understand how difficult it is to handle our bloody emotions! Its like we're born with a leaking faucet of emotions. How on earth we don't exhaust it, I don't know!!
And it's even more irritating when your rational mind knows you are thinking irrationally, and yet the bloody emotions just continues to effect how you feel. And as much as you know the phase would pass, at the particular phase, all you wanna do is mope and rant and vent and bitch..
Sigh....
Man, I feel like a woman!! :)
Yet, being a woman is also liberating. A woman is so free..and so loved. :)
I'm loving it!!
And it's even more irritating when your rational mind knows you are thinking irrationally, and yet the bloody emotions just continues to effect how you feel. And as much as you know the phase would pass, at the particular phase, all you wanna do is mope and rant and vent and bitch..
Sigh....
Man, I feel like a woman!! :)
Yet, being a woman is also liberating. A woman is so free..and so loved. :)
I'm loving it!!
Monday, 17 May 2010
Of travelling, singing and planning!!
My weekend was CRAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYYY...
The looniness started Friday when Ian decided that I was leading Vespers on Sunday! And that meant chanting quite a bit solo..And the thing about chanting is that, the voice and tones have to be clear, and there's a fine line between solemn and sombre! :p Anyways, needless to say, i was FREAKING OUT!
I went home Friday night dead tired, went to work on Saturday, met up with my second brother for lunch, sped home to Melaka, and spent the evening watching Playhouse Disney with my nephew. Had a birthday dinner for my oldest brother,, watched this fantastic British show called 'The stars are in their eyes,' then practically died from exhaustion.
Sunday morning, had a typical unhealthy Malaysian breakfast of Roti canai with the family, packed and headed right back to KL. Immediately picked Feli up for a formation session with the PAG team, after which I rushed over to SFX for Vespers practice right before Vespers!
Yes, I was a bundle of nerves!!
I got everything right, but for some reason could not get the final blessing right.
And so...I created a new tune dat evening!
Thank God, Ian n Ben has created such a positive spirit amongst us, that after my 'fiasco' Ben texted and affirmed me for a job well done although I did create a new tune! Hehehehe
Oh well...the weekend slipped by me again, and I really dread work. It is so difficult to take my job seriously. Worse I find my work making me nastier than nicer. It is just so difficult to refrain from being like the rest of them. It is so difficult to stand out in character and performance. the management does not make it any easier. I find myself smiling less and less at work. And when people ask if I am happy, I do not know what to say. I might be a little happy, but I do not see a future for me.
I wonder if lecturing might suit me better? It might, it might not.
What I know now is that I am luckier than most to be working in such an esteemed company in Malaysia, and I ought to count my blessing more than anything else.
:)
The looniness started Friday when Ian decided that I was leading Vespers on Sunday! And that meant chanting quite a bit solo..And the thing about chanting is that, the voice and tones have to be clear, and there's a fine line between solemn and sombre! :p Anyways, needless to say, i was FREAKING OUT!
I went home Friday night dead tired, went to work on Saturday, met up with my second brother for lunch, sped home to Melaka, and spent the evening watching Playhouse Disney with my nephew. Had a birthday dinner for my oldest brother,, watched this fantastic British show called 'The stars are in their eyes,' then practically died from exhaustion.
Sunday morning, had a typical unhealthy Malaysian breakfast of Roti canai with the family, packed and headed right back to KL. Immediately picked Feli up for a formation session with the PAG team, after which I rushed over to SFX for Vespers practice right before Vespers!
Yes, I was a bundle of nerves!!
I got everything right, but for some reason could not get the final blessing right.
And so...I created a new tune dat evening!
Thank God, Ian n Ben has created such a positive spirit amongst us, that after my 'fiasco' Ben texted and affirmed me for a job well done although I did create a new tune! Hehehehe
Oh well...the weekend slipped by me again, and I really dread work. It is so difficult to take my job seriously. Worse I find my work making me nastier than nicer. It is just so difficult to refrain from being like the rest of them. It is so difficult to stand out in character and performance. the management does not make it any easier. I find myself smiling less and less at work. And when people ask if I am happy, I do not know what to say. I might be a little happy, but I do not see a future for me.
I wonder if lecturing might suit me better? It might, it might not.
What I know now is that I am luckier than most to be working in such an esteemed company in Malaysia, and I ought to count my blessing more than anything else.
:)
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
One day at a time
It has been very trying at work. Sometimes you really wonder at people, wonder how nasty people can turn on each other. I always think of the statement that humans are the only animals that turn on each other, but I think recently there has been documentaries on apes murdering as well...Vaguely remember it.
Still, animals of less intelligence seem more human sometimes. I love dogs, and they always melt my heart. Dogs are so simple, honest and sincere. Even my crazy Einstein Copernicus Thomas (yes, my pets have full names) tried warding off the cobra for me. But that shall be another story for another day. Doggie Douglas Thomas used to bark weirdly when we sent him over to the neighbours for puppy-sitting when we went back to JB for Chinese New Year. He'd bark as if he was trying to speak like a human and he'd look you in the eye at that! He was dignified and gentlemanly. Once a car ran over his paw, and there was no one home but my then future-bro-in-law, who came to Malaysia for a two week stay to get to know the family. Danko tried to just carry Doggie and put him in the car as Doggie couldn't manage it on his own, but Doggie barked and threatened to bite cause he did not like anyone carrying him. Danko looked Doggie in the eye, and told him, 'Look here, you're injured and I need to get you in the car to get it checked.' And when he tried carried Doggie again, Doggie allowed it.
It almost seemed like he had pride or being independent and in control. Yet he reasoned and allowed it.
Okie, you might think I'm bonkers to even think my dogs had such intelligence and character, but any dog-lover would agree to it. Sometimes I think I love dogs more than humans!
And this makes it tough to be a good Catholic. We are called to love our enemies because all humans are made in God's image. And we are called to love because He first loved. Once, I read twice in different books on the same day that it takes no character to love lovable people, but it takes a lot to love the unlovable, and that is what we are to do. It might seem counter-productive to the logical man and I guess it would be if we did not attain the endless supply of Love from God. On our own effort alone, it would be unproductive and counter-productive, but nourished and sustained, it would be a great witness to Christ. And I guess, that is why I am looking forward to Accession this year. For once, it means something to me. For once I am eager for Pentecost!
But a humbling thought prevails..that we are mere humans...and as humans we fail..and I can only pray that this time round the conversion is for real and for good.
I miss my puppies at home...:( I'll be home this Saturday Einstein II and Rusty.
p/s: Havent given them their full name...Hmmmm
Still, animals of less intelligence seem more human sometimes. I love dogs, and they always melt my heart. Dogs are so simple, honest and sincere. Even my crazy Einstein Copernicus Thomas (yes, my pets have full names) tried warding off the cobra for me. But that shall be another story for another day. Doggie Douglas Thomas used to bark weirdly when we sent him over to the neighbours for puppy-sitting when we went back to JB for Chinese New Year. He'd bark as if he was trying to speak like a human and he'd look you in the eye at that! He was dignified and gentlemanly. Once a car ran over his paw, and there was no one home but my then future-bro-in-law, who came to Malaysia for a two week stay to get to know the family. Danko tried to just carry Doggie and put him in the car as Doggie couldn't manage it on his own, but Doggie barked and threatened to bite cause he did not like anyone carrying him. Danko looked Doggie in the eye, and told him, 'Look here, you're injured and I need to get you in the car to get it checked.' And when he tried carried Doggie again, Doggie allowed it.
It almost seemed like he had pride or being independent and in control. Yet he reasoned and allowed it.
Okie, you might think I'm bonkers to even think my dogs had such intelligence and character, but any dog-lover would agree to it. Sometimes I think I love dogs more than humans!
And this makes it tough to be a good Catholic. We are called to love our enemies because all humans are made in God's image. And we are called to love because He first loved. Once, I read twice in different books on the same day that it takes no character to love lovable people, but it takes a lot to love the unlovable, and that is what we are to do. It might seem counter-productive to the logical man and I guess it would be if we did not attain the endless supply of Love from God. On our own effort alone, it would be unproductive and counter-productive, but nourished and sustained, it would be a great witness to Christ. And I guess, that is why I am looking forward to Accession this year. For once, it means something to me. For once I am eager for Pentecost!
But a humbling thought prevails..that we are mere humans...and as humans we fail..and I can only pray that this time round the conversion is for real and for good.
I miss my puppies at home...:( I'll be home this Saturday Einstein II and Rusty.
p/s: Havent given them their full name...Hmmmm
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Patience
I lack it.
I have no idea how to be patient...in anything! Be it waiting for my food to arrive, or speaking a little louder and slower so my mom understands me over the phone, I just can't seem to be patient.
I can't seem to be patient with people who have the diarrhea of the mouth, where sometimes it is nice to have straightforward friends, but sometimes it is annoying when they like making snide remarks. It is fine once or twice, but once too often gets on my nerves. And then they are in turn clueless to what they have done, and their innocence is so great, that albeit being in a bad mood, you do not have the heart to tell them, 'I am annoyed with you!' SIGH.
It is tiring pleasing everyone. Sometimes it is tiring being nice. People walk all over you, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.
And I do not have the heart to burst at them, but I do not have the patience either! Half the time, I'm swallowing nasty remarks, so I would not offend anyone.
Why do some people just lack the people skill? I really do not get it..It frustrates me greatly. And my current lab is filled with them. Not only are they 0 EQ-ed, but in possession of really poor manners! Sigh.
What shall I do?
I have no idea how to be patient...in anything! Be it waiting for my food to arrive, or speaking a little louder and slower so my mom understands me over the phone, I just can't seem to be patient.
I can't seem to be patient with people who have the diarrhea of the mouth, where sometimes it is nice to have straightforward friends, but sometimes it is annoying when they like making snide remarks. It is fine once or twice, but once too often gets on my nerves. And then they are in turn clueless to what they have done, and their innocence is so great, that albeit being in a bad mood, you do not have the heart to tell them, 'I am annoyed with you!' SIGH.
It is tiring pleasing everyone. Sometimes it is tiring being nice. People walk all over you, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.
And I do not have the heart to burst at them, but I do not have the patience either! Half the time, I'm swallowing nasty remarks, so I would not offend anyone.
Why do some people just lack the people skill? I really do not get it..It frustrates me greatly. And my current lab is filled with them. Not only are they 0 EQ-ed, but in possession of really poor manners! Sigh.
What shall I do?
Monday, 10 May 2010
Off the hook!!!!!!!!!
YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I started the weekend mentally preparing myself for my night call which was supposed to be tonight with that nasty man..and then Sunday morning, Jeya gives me the best news of my LIFE (ok ok...YES...I am exaggerating...pffff). She canceled her annual leave and took my call!
I started the weekend mentally preparing myself for my night call which was supposed to be tonight with that nasty man..and then Sunday morning, Jeya gives me the best news of my LIFE (ok ok...YES...I am exaggerating...pffff). She canceled her annual leave and took my call!
*choirs of angels*
ALLELUIA!!
ALLELUIA!!
Goodness! I was soooooooo relieved that I spent the whole day telling EVERYONE I met that I was happy...
Driving down to Port Dickson with Jon n Feli
Hey Jon!!
Yea?
I'm HAPPY!! *grins like an idiot*
And what does that have to do with me?
Hey Jon!!
Yea?
I'm HAPPY!! *grins like an idiot*
And what does that have to do with me?
Yuh, I KNOW!! What a party-pooper! Feli was appalled with Jon's response, but I was too happy, I could not care less...:D
The funny thing is that, the very fact Jon responded that way showed that we were really close friends of his. And hence, I was not bothered at all and went on blabbering about how happy I was as he was busy with his handphone! Lol. oh yea, I was driving..
Unfortunately, women are noted to be horrible drivers..and although I have always been known to be a good driver, I tend to get a little over-confident on the road...and I think all my friends vouch for that. The funny thing is they all say I am a darn good driver (I can only drive manual cars....am pretty clueless with auto...:S Weird huh?) and after they spent a whole journey screaming in my car! Lol
And yea, my car is named Muff the 2nd. (Stop that! I will explain..and no, I am no perve to name my car so crudely)
You see, my first car in uni, was this really cute Kancil, and she was registered as MAF 5096. My friends had cars and they were all named, and so I was told to name mine as well. My brother (although he is 42, he is really innocent in so many ways...tech whizz who keeps calling Seal 'Scarface' cuz he is perpetually confused with Babyface the singer and the Lion King's character..haha) said hey you what'd be cool? calling your car MAF but make it cooler by spelling it as MUFF.
Being as innocent or worse, I told Bryan , Chia Wei and Rubern about it, and we all agreed it was a good name!
Rubern then fatetully watched an episode of That 70's Show, and 'our eyes were opened'!!
We were rolling in laughter!I attempted changing her name, but Muff stuck.
And since this is my second car, she is named after the first Muff.
:)
random I know.
The funny thing is that, the very fact Jon responded that way showed that we were really close friends of his. And hence, I was not bothered at all and went on blabbering about how happy I was as he was busy with his handphone! Lol. oh yea, I was driving..
Unfortunately, women are noted to be horrible drivers..and although I have always been known to be a good driver, I tend to get a little over-confident on the road...and I think all my friends vouch for that. The funny thing is they all say I am a darn good driver (I can only drive manual cars....am pretty clueless with auto...:S Weird huh?) and after they spent a whole journey screaming in my car! Lol
And yea, my car is named Muff the 2nd. (Stop that! I will explain..and no, I am no perve to name my car so crudely)
You see, my first car in uni, was this really cute Kancil, and she was registered as MAF 5096. My friends had cars and they were all named, and so I was told to name mine as well. My brother (although he is 42, he is really innocent in so many ways...tech whizz who keeps calling Seal 'Scarface' cuz he is perpetually confused with Babyface the singer and the Lion King's character..haha) said hey you what'd be cool? calling your car MAF but make it cooler by spelling it as MUFF.
Being as innocent or worse, I told Bryan , Chia Wei and Rubern about it, and we all agreed it was a good name!
Rubern then fatetully watched an episode of That 70's Show, and 'our eyes were opened'!!
We were rolling in laughter!I attempted changing her name, but Muff stuck.
And since this is my second car, she is named after the first Muff.
:)
random I know.
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
151
That's the number of posts I have! Pretty interesting for a person who never understood why people blogged...To be frank, I still am not too sure why..
Instead of going around thinking why people blog, let's see why I blog?
A) Fame
Ain't working too well...besides, I have much better ways of acclaiming fame...and besides, I would want to be famous, not infamous...but then again, anything to be known is it not? But, the bottom line is, I do not want fame, but I do want to know people. Having people know you could be quite a headache, right? Everywhere you go, you think you're safe, but they recognize you....Doesn't help that you look like a 'free-hair Malay' and you are 1.75cm tall! :S
B) Spread awareness
...of my life?? Nahhhhhh
C) Creativity
*crickets*
I think venting, and hoping someone reads it and see what's happening in my life seems to fit.
Aren't we just lonely people then? Needing someone to pay us some attention? People are such social creatures....then again, some aren't..and are pretty good at repelling people too...
My colleague for example, with whom I have had the honour of doing a night call with.
He is a married man of 40 plus, and he has been notorious for giving scandalous suggestions to female colleagues..
Now, am lucky because...I am the person he hates the most for buying him a mere bottle of wine for Christmas..
Hmmmmmmm....
*praying hard that someone takes my Monday night call from me*
*and still praying*
Instead of going around thinking why people blog, let's see why I blog?
A) Fame
Ain't working too well...besides, I have much better ways of acclaiming fame...and besides, I would want to be famous, not infamous...but then again, anything to be known is it not? But, the bottom line is, I do not want fame, but I do want to know people. Having people know you could be quite a headache, right? Everywhere you go, you think you're safe, but they recognize you....Doesn't help that you look like a 'free-hair Malay' and you are 1.75cm tall! :S
B) Spread awareness
...of my life?? Nahhhhhh
C) Creativity
*crickets*
I think venting, and hoping someone reads it and see what's happening in my life seems to fit.
Aren't we just lonely people then? Needing someone to pay us some attention? People are such social creatures....then again, some aren't..and are pretty good at repelling people too...
My colleague for example, with whom I have had the honour of doing a night call with.
He is a married man of 40 plus, and he has been notorious for giving scandalous suggestions to female colleagues..
Now, am lucky because...I am the person he hates the most for buying him a mere bottle of wine for Christmas..
Hmmmmmmm....
*praying hard that someone takes my Monday night call from me*
*and still praying*
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