Anima Animus

I have found a person, proven (pretty much) to be my total opposite..In almost all aspect..My animus incarnate!

How?

A friend of a friend. Asked him to add me on facebook. Gave him my number. Met him up in KL. Simple.

If there is one thing we both agree on, it would be our opinions on people. We both happen to be observers of human behaviour, mine innate and his acquired (according to him....my personality doesn't allow that much break down of things..:P)

For once, it was good, to have another person understand the way you think, maybe even more than you yourself would have guessed. In this situation, well, I'm just not discipline in actually trying to phrase it. What I feel about a person, he articulates.

So, as we were discussing, behaviours (ours, not to worry..:P), and I casually told him that the incomplete MBTI showed that I was an ENFP - Extroversion iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. He laughed and said that he was my complete opposite; ISTJ - Introversion Sensing Thinking Judging! At first, it didn't really register much in my head (was busy thinking about other stuff). So I started reading about these profiles..

They were eerily accurate actually;

Me: The inspirer, the visionary, the advocate
Him: The duty-fulfiller, the reliant, the examiner

• If I seem warm, he seems cold. (He is really approachable..:))
  

• If I'm friendly, he is reserved.

• If I'm always looking for something new, he is loyal to the end.

• If I prefer the start-up phase of projects or relationships, he honour deadlines and thoroughness.

• If I only put emphasis on subjects that interest me, he learns best subjects that are practical and useful.

• If my workplace is arranged haphazardly (there you go..an oxymoron!!), his needs things organized (I quote, "I am so disorganized. I can't find a particular paper. I need to organize myself"...put me in that scenario..."oh well..I'll just print a new one..:P")

• I will have difficulty separating work time from leisure, his leisure time is hard earned!

• I like to travel, read, invite friends to plays, movies, etc...basically I have difficulty being alone, he really enjoys his alone time, and he has a schedule for leisure.

• I don't remember details to save my life, for him details is everything.

• If I'm a believer, he is the skeptic.
  

Ani-what??

One of the many profile description gave the relationship shared between types. It puzzled me to see the relationship described as Anima. ?? Nope. Never heard of. So I go read more. It was used in Carl Jung's school of psychology. One described Anima as the the personification of all feminine psychological tendencies within a man, and the archetypal feminine symbolism within a man's unconscious. Animus is the personification of all masculine psychological tendencies within a woman, and the archetypal masculine symbolism within a woman's unconscious. Jung however says it's not totally unconsious..but let's not delve too deep in it..I am an ameteur..:P

Quite a mouthful eh?

It goes on to explain the anima/animus projection and possession..simply put, in the projection of anima/animus, a person unaware of the opposing gender qualities in one's self, would project it in the opposite gender..usually carrying an attraction charge. And the possession of anima/animus would lead to the man acting out in a childish manner or a woman being domineering...(translate into man giving in to emotions stereotypical female qualities, and woman taking on more leading roles, stereotypical masculine attributes..)



It also says that the typical archetypal figures of anima and animus are depicted in the characters of Juliet Binoche and Johnny Depp in Chocolat! (even though this might not interest you, encouraged to watch this! :) no need dl...go youtube! :)).

Hence to be complete, it is said that a person needs to assimilate the anima/animus with one's self...

For Him:
Discover his true feelings

For Her:
Constantly question her opinions and ideas

It would apply to both him and I... He would probably need to tone down on thinking, while I need to start thinking!

Anyways, my "animus" is a good friend, and a constant source or entertainment/study.

Me signing out! Sleepy..

I want to

I want to tell him that he can never lose me..

I want to run to him, and tell him that everything is ok now..

I want to hug him tight, and say, hey, I'm here for you..

I want to let him cry his heart out in my arms..

I want to take the pain away so he can smile again..

I want to help him get out of the past..

I want to erase the darkness for him..

I want to sooth his pain n fears..

I want to make it alright for him..





But I can't.. :(

Thankful

Yesterday, I saw Fellie off to her assessment for a job she is trying to secure. So, since I was up early, I thought of not wasting the day away by going back to sleep. So, I went online to read the papers, and read a blog or two...

8am-I receive a call from the company (ABC) that I've been hoping for! I get the job!!! Well...at least till I have undergone my pre-employment medical check up scheduled for 23rd Dec...But the best part was that I was offered more than I had expected as well!

Stunt, I rolled back the last 3 months in an instant!

It is amazing I'm still standing after all that has happened. I wonder, if it were someone else in my shoes, would he/she survive? I have been thinking..how did I get out of the rut?

WWF stint?
AD?
Bryan?
Fellie+Karen+Lydia?
Mom back in M'sia?
.
.
.
.
Something more than that?

Post Uni was Hell on earth! RC & SS made it a living Hell for me. How to survive the pain? The torment? While your ex and your ex good friend dated..knowing you were hurting, and to what extent for that matter...WWF was perfect!
Every night, I'd walk myself to death. Space out. Got a kitten. Barely sleep. It was physical torture..but it did keep the thoughts away. I surrounded myself with brand new people. I drank till I got pissed drunk (and probably totally unsightly...ugh). Did stuff I'd never thought I'd do, and will nvr do again!

And yes, Bryan was there for me all the times I went to Kajang..I'll never forget that one night I stayed over at Cheese's. Cheese got everything laundered for me..Provided a room and bed. That night, I was about to sleep alone..and I couldn't close my eyes without once thinking about the two of them. I was tortured. Bryan accompanied me the whole night. Aih, my little brother..love ya so much!

After WWF, came Alpha. Once again, I was too busy making new friends. And I guess God placed J for a reason. So in preparation for Alpha, I started to pray again after a long long time. The first answer I got was Rubern's change of number..

You know the deal, right Rubern?
Yea..
I already told you, the day you start dating her, you're losing me as your friend..
Yea..
You chose this Rubern..
*hesitant* Yea..
Goodbye..

To cut away the one person you were in contact with everyday of your life for the pass 3 years, felt like one lung collapsed! A limb severed. I lost my best friend..My closest friend ever. The man I once loved.

But this time, I was not going to break down again..Never again...I prayed harder.
The first challenge..

Oh yea..J's gf works there?
Huh? say again? who's gf?
J's.

Was this some cruel trick? I went on to recite the rosary daily. It didn't even pinch.

In comes new friends.. WL, -droi-, Mahin..
And closer did I get to friends I already had..Fellie, Karen, Lydia, Gin Jhen, Alfred, Jerry..
And my good friends were always there..Kamini, Veena, Raphael

Job offer. Learning & academic skills advisor.

I think I really want to stay in my field, chea..
I think it is the right choice.
But the money is good, yet I think that's the ceiling..I won't go far from there..I'll take the chance and reject it..
Lift if to the Lord, Pearly.

I prayed, Lord, it's not about the money. I'm trusting you to take care of me. Please..

Job offer. Medical Lab Technologist.

I know the pay is real low, and the place is far (and J lives there!). I need to tender 30 days notice to quit if I get the offer from ABC! Dunno what to do, Ma..
If Mama means, Mama'll take the risk.

Premko, I think I'll reject this offer. I know ABC has not got back to me, but I think I have a chance. I do not want to be stuck here when ABC offers me the job.
Ok, pray about it and then decide. No matter what the decision is, no turning back, no regrets.
(Lord, I trust You) I'll reject it Premko. Ive decided.

Jacey, I'm rejecting the offer..will wait for ABC..
Don't worry, the Lord will look after you. Besides, plaza blossom looks too dingy.
:P

Rejects XYZ. Job offer. Medical Lab Technologist (Microbiology)

It's not ABC, but if I don't get ABC, this has always been my second choice, so yea..I'll take this, Fellie.
Ya Pearl...better don't reject this one. When will you start if you're working here in PB?
Jan 2..it will give me some time in case I do get ABC.

Yesterday:
I drove to PB to collect offer letter..still stunt with the call from ABC. I had lunch with Althea

If you want to fine a place in Subang Jaya, you look ard section 16-19.
Err..yea..16 to 19 ya?
Yes..and if you're ard, if you wanna go after 6pm, I can go with you.
Really? I would love it Althea. Thanks.

I went to HFK to give thanks.

Hi Uncle Kenny! *relates work story*
The Lord provides, girl...by the way, you know the CSS girls ar? These two sisters...the younger taller then the older one..
Jeannette and Pat??
Ya...could you check with them if they returned the key to the RCIA room?
(When will these kids ever learn?....aih...lol) Haha...Yes Uncle, you can count on me. :)

Strolls to Glory to God..

Hi Uncle Kenneth! Hi Aunty Marilyn!
Long time never see you here...Where have you been?
*relates the necessary*
You are very blessed..

Walks over to Extreme Fitness Centre..

Hi Elaine!!
Where have you been??
*relates the necessary*
Tsk...how is that girl..the small one...
*hopes its Fellie she's talking about*
..the Indian one..
*sighs* Steph?
Ah, yes!
*relates the totally unnecessary
Wow...I thought...bla bla bla
I dun care Elaine. It's over.

-talk about ABC-
-talk about boys-
-talk about potential doctor husbands....rofl-
-talk about potential vacation to Bali together-
-talk about their charity event...Bravo! RM 12,000 singlehandedly raised by Extreme Fitness Centre!!!!- *applauds*
-talk about family-
-talk about Elaine's ex!! HAHAHA-

You're really happy, Pearl.
Yes, Elaine, I finally am.
One day you will be able to look them in the face.
Not yet, Elaine.
Yes, not yet, but you will one day.
Yes. I'm happy Elaine, right now. I'm very, very happy.
*promotes Bryan's A Christmas Carol performace*

(My little brother Bryan is playing the violin for the "A Christmas Carol" play in KLPac from the 12th to the 28th of Dec, 2008 *super proud*)

Today:
Lord..you made me throw myself completely at Your will, and You did provide.
I do not regret any decision I've made, for all were done in prayer, and I was at peace with my decisions for Your Spirit guided me. Lord, I was not alone in my Gathsemany. You were there. You consoled, and you heal. Thank you Lord.

Today's reading:

3rd Sunday of Advent: 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24

Brothers and sisters:
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing.
In all circumstances give thanks,
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
Do not quench the Spirit.
Do not despise prophetic utterances.
Test everything; retain what is good.
Refrain from every kind of evil.

May the God of peace make you perfectly holy
and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body,
be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The one who calls you is faithful,
and he will also accomplish it.

The message could not be any clearer!

Looking Back

It was a surprise today when I checked my mail and saw Sender: Darian Henry. Subject: [Naughty vs Nice]New comment on Listening. Without looking at the contents of my mail, I went straight to my blog and read the comment...

*Chill pepek* "Sigh, some things nvr change" I thought as I smiled.
*Work shit out* "Haha, Darian being sweet in the odd way Darian and Pearly actually talk"

And then the rest followed suit..

It instantly brought a smile to my face. I guess it's the familiarity of the name. Someone from home, from my teenage days. Looking back, I remembered all the old names, Clarine, Janice, Amelia, Joshua, Timothy, Adrian, Paul, Alfie, Junior, Jerry, Jenna, the list goes on.

Remembered those crazy walks in the blazing sun Alfie and I used to take for meetings in Sacred Heart. Remembered going to Clarine's house after school to makan and have our "bonding" sessions talking about boys and Caritas. Remembered Timothy's odd days when he tried so hard to fit in with the boys, and how I tried to tell him that it was ok to be different..(OK..THAT sounds so wrong...LOL...sorry timmy!). Remembered Junior bear bear, the sweetest guy of the lot...Remembered Joshua a.k.a. OG and and his unending singing and song writing. Remembered Amelia and Janice and more talk about boys (God, we were shallow...*swt*). And of course there was Darian...let's just say it was shame that being a teenager always made you feel odd..go figure..

So, now I am wondering, what happened to everyone? I have completely lost track of everyone of them. Alfie's the closest I am to right now. Next person I actually interact with would be Darian, Paul, and Joshua...now that IS bad.. Maybe it is just me running away from a past that was so full of memories, both good and bad. A past in which I wished things were different. I wished I could have spent more time with the people my mom thought I was too good for. I guess she meant well, but look at how i turned out...the inevitable has happened. I am no better than anyone of these people who you could say are the people I am most similar too beneath it all..You could say I am worse..Pretending to be someone I am not, to please the family...

But I guess that is me...Pearly the Malaccan, the Thomas, the CCS girl, the screwed up..Lol.

Anyway, probably just being emotional...

Later then..=)

Listening

It is hard to listen to another human being, I know. It is a known fact.

It is then our duty, as another human being to lend a ear. It keeps balance. I listen to what you have to say, and not judge, and you listen to me.

When you know someone is not going to listen to what you have say, you just don't talk.

So this brings me to my point.

Today I was tired after a long day, and wanted to have my lunch. Rascal asked me about the talk we had for CSS. I just said, it was OK. Then he asked, what did Fr Chris talk about? So I know that Rascal does not really want to know, so I just said nothing la..just about Islam. Then he asks again, what about Islam. So I gathered my breath, cause the questions he asked sounded like he really wanted to listen. So I said, well he talked about apostasy of Islam. Taking another breath so continue, I opened my mouth to say another word, when he turns up the volume of One Tree Hill series (dumbest thing I've seen).

So, after once being reprimanded for being too sensitive, I continued talking, as he turns to me, he reduces the volume. I continued saying, Oh, he tried to explain the freedom of religion Islam has promoted but unfortunately buried by Jihad. Rascal gives an indifferent nod and turns up the volume again. So I tried to finish what I had to say about the talk, and continued my lunch.

So, shall I blame myself if I am sick and tired of talking to an indifferent ear? Although it might be meant well, but yea, listen if you want to. Do not make it a part of charity. Sucky.