Well, it is a whole complex mesh of events, the past week..And it's Monday again. It is do darn good to just spend a relatively quiet weekend in Subang, away from the PLUS highway..which means away from rushing home to Melaka, settling 5-8 family errands and issues at one go, and listening to the vents and rants at home about the family, money, government, planet, universe, galaxy...you get the picture....
Anyhoo...
I messed up at work (or so I thought). Manage to get a probe to puncture a sample cup! And carry it along the rest of the processes.. :) Thank God, the probe supply is almost infinite, and the mistake made was a relatively common one. *phew*. Tomorrow shall be my last day at the Clinical Chemistry bench, and I hope I picked up enough to get all the papers signed. Am seriously thinking of requesting to be rotated another round once I am done with this one...
Gym drama is a freaking saga! First, another trainer, V has taken over me because M was not doing a good job keeping to appointments. Then, M has been spreading rumours about me and V...malicious ones. Thank God M has a reputation as a huge liar (pathological one man...) and people only half believes what he says..(Lucky me). Went for a bbq with more trainers..sheesh...it is a conspiracy...they make you eat so you pay them to give you more personal training sessions! LOL. Not falling for that one guys....:P but I have to say, the gals who prepared the food (chefs...literally! FnB lecturers now..) did an awesome job. I have never tasted better bbq-ed chicken!!!! :)
Well, the personal life has taken about a million steps backwards.. Totally decided to cut Club Guy from my life. Do not want to be mean, but seriously, I need a sharper man. Yesterday was the last straw. No more.. I do not care about J man either..a waste of time.
Gosh..no time.....cont tmr... :)
Monday 30 March 2009
Sunday 22 March 2009
McLeod's Daughters
Initially, I never appreciated the series, but somehow (I think I'm older now) of late, I am beginning to identify with them..and the struggles they go through are real. Today's episode, Grace was "happy" having flings, and Marcus disapproved of it. They gave each other a good lashing for minding each others business..
So they went on arguing as they were unsaddling the horse, and off the horse runs away, and they give chase, and both fall into an old mine shaft.
So, two people, stuck in a mine shaft, and it's getting late, and they're wet, and she starts shivering. So Marcus goes to the rescue, gives her his jacket, and try to make her think happier thoughts...and she spills...
She is in a fling with a man who only wants to screw her because she was heartbroken by her former bf. She starts crying and asks, why did her ex leave her? What did she do wrong? and the jackpot was, am I unlovable?
In truth, that is the biggest insecurity most girls have. In that stupid short few minutes, they caught the essence of female insecurity. Are we so bad that we are unlovable?
many will say, don't talk nonsense la...of course you are lovable...and some idiots will even say, your parents love you, your friends love you (That's when you ought to SMACK their heads!!). Yea, yea, we all know that, but to be loved exclusively for the person you are. To be wanted to be part of another persons life. That's like the biggest compliment a person can get..
Oh well, there were many other issues, female relationship issues put out on the series, but today, I just wanna share on that particular one...
Have a great weekend buddies....
muah!
So they went on arguing as they were unsaddling the horse, and off the horse runs away, and they give chase, and both fall into an old mine shaft.
So, two people, stuck in a mine shaft, and it's getting late, and they're wet, and she starts shivering. So Marcus goes to the rescue, gives her his jacket, and try to make her think happier thoughts...and she spills...
She is in a fling with a man who only wants to screw her because she was heartbroken by her former bf. She starts crying and asks, why did her ex leave her? What did she do wrong? and the jackpot was, am I unlovable?
In truth, that is the biggest insecurity most girls have. In that stupid short few minutes, they caught the essence of female insecurity. Are we so bad that we are unlovable?
many will say, don't talk nonsense la...of course you are lovable...and some idiots will even say, your parents love you, your friends love you (That's when you ought to SMACK their heads!!). Yea, yea, we all know that, but to be loved exclusively for the person you are. To be wanted to be part of another persons life. That's like the biggest compliment a person can get..
Oh well, there were many other issues, female relationship issues put out on the series, but today, I just wanna share on that particular one...
Have a great weekend buddies....
muah!
Friday 20 March 2009
Fragile
Can't believe how fragile I still am..
Yesterday I met a real old friend, DT..someone real close to heart,only he did not realize it...
He came over to my apartment, and we were chilling at the poolside and caught up old times...we were talking about people we both knew, how they have turned out to be. It was real nice, to have a bit of the better times come back to me. Long and deep into the conversation, we found out that a mutual close friend, JT has been backstabbing DT. I said it was true as JT told me bad stuff about DT's gf the last the last time we met. What happened next was something I did not expect..
DT was so pissed, and he said that JT almost cost him his cousin. And I was sympathetic, but I told him that JT was never credible, and honest to god, I did not remember the details JT told me as he has always been full of crap. Well, DT than questioned my intentions of inquiring after his gf. I was in disbelieve, but worse I broke into tears..
DT realized soon enough he should not have questioned my sincerity in my relationship with him. We have been friends for almost 11 years now..and he has always been close to heart. He really played a big role in shaping me to who I am today. But I knew that it was in his nature to clarify, and hence the seemingly distrusting question. I knew he was not angry with me, but the way he posed the question was hurtful, and I CRIED!!
Today I can laugh about it, but it got me thinking how fragile I actually am. I know to many, I come across and confident, strong and as a person who knows what she wants and how to get what she wants. but the truth it I am fragile. The very same reason Rubern hurt me so bad, Steph hurt so bad, ET, AT, AH and so many hurt so much.
guess that just means I need to toughen up.Oh well.. People are just insensitive and inhuman...
DT, no no, you don't fall into that category, k? :) Love ya to bits! :D
Yesterday I met a real old friend, DT..someone real close to heart,only he did not realize it...
He came over to my apartment, and we were chilling at the poolside and caught up old times...we were talking about people we both knew, how they have turned out to be. It was real nice, to have a bit of the better times come back to me. Long and deep into the conversation, we found out that a mutual close friend, JT has been backstabbing DT. I said it was true as JT told me bad stuff about DT's gf the last the last time we met. What happened next was something I did not expect..
DT was so pissed, and he said that JT almost cost him his cousin. And I was sympathetic, but I told him that JT was never credible, and honest to god, I did not remember the details JT told me as he has always been full of crap. Well, DT than questioned my intentions of inquiring after his gf. I was in disbelieve, but worse I broke into tears..
DT realized soon enough he should not have questioned my sincerity in my relationship with him. We have been friends for almost 11 years now..and he has always been close to heart. He really played a big role in shaping me to who I am today. But I knew that it was in his nature to clarify, and hence the seemingly distrusting question. I knew he was not angry with me, but the way he posed the question was hurtful, and I CRIED!!
Today I can laugh about it, but it got me thinking how fragile I actually am. I know to many, I come across and confident, strong and as a person who knows what she wants and how to get what she wants. but the truth it I am fragile. The very same reason Rubern hurt me so bad, Steph hurt so bad, ET, AT, AH and so many hurt so much.
guess that just means I need to toughen up.Oh well.. People are just insensitive and inhuman...
DT, no no, you don't fall into that category, k? :) Love ya to bits! :D
Monday 16 March 2009
Pebbles' Thoughts
Well, it would not be as though people are really interested to know what goes on in this mind of mine, but heck..
It has been a relatively interesting week.
First, the weight loss thingy is really cool. People are noticing, and I feel awesome ! It's such a compliment when body-perfect people compliment you...almost feels like it's more real as to compliments from people who are not body-perfect obsessed. Now I'm moving on to toning the body..need to rd myself of the flabby tummy. :P LISTEN! GURLS OUT THERE!! LOSING WEIGHT IS SO FREAKING POSSIBLE!! Seriously, just go and do it! Get motivation and stick to the plan, but keep it real.. If only I had someone to tell me this before. Oh well, it's never too late. :)
Secondly, just finished SDMCSJ's official orientation...and now I really understand why people would not want to leave this haven. The perks are good, the attitude-positive, the people-wholesome. The culture has been well absorbed by most levels,and it is nice to see positive values at work for real. In addition to that, it is nice to meet so many new people. I've made friends with at least 5 new women. And yes, Bryan, you were right..I need more girlfriends. It is doing me good. Made friends with a CEO of a nursing college in the gym, made friends with 3 pharmacists (hehe) from SDMC, another girl from SDMC's purchasing dept, a female engineer from the gym, and became close to a front office girl in Fitness First summit. From the women that I already got to know, I'm learning so many life's lessons which most are dying to share with this naive, fresh, kid.
So many has been through divorces, some been through abuses, some have been through abortions with and without their boyfriends by them. Each one of them are so rich with lessons I am so thirsty for. I wished I could document each of their stories so that people could see through their eyes. I have sat up for nights thinking through what they have shared. The pain and healing they've all been through. For some it remains a scar for life. For others it makes them better people. It's amazing.
Oh yes, last friday, the 13th! My car window got smashed. *sigh*
Was out with Karen for dinner in OUG.My mistake. Left gym bag in the car. Smashed the little window of the back seat, wound down my window and took a bag of stinky gym clothes. Heh. bodo.. That warranted me a good bought of RETAIL THERAPY!!!!!!!
Haha....Spent the whole weekend shopping...:D Happinesssssss
I also had a good time with a friend,who happens to have feelings for me. i wonder why the people you care for end up not caring in return or hurting you like mad, and those who you do not expect anything from are the one that care so much about you. M-man has been at my beck and call. He found out about my car window and knew i was really upset, so he actually took me out clubbing. He found out that I love dogs, so he surprised me with a trip with the Malaysian Kennel Association Dog Show. And he knows I cannot return the feelings and he is still there for me. And I think of how mean R was..aih..
Anyways, I had a good time with Eng Onn, Siong Kiat, Sim, Peggy, Julie and..err...dunno name the other night. thanks guys! :)
Missing my teddy too..heh...you know who you are. :P
there goes lunch time.
Signing out!
Pebbles
It has been a relatively interesting week.
First, the weight loss thingy is really cool. People are noticing, and I feel awesome ! It's such a compliment when body-perfect people compliment you...almost feels like it's more real as to compliments from people who are not body-perfect obsessed. Now I'm moving on to toning the body..need to rd myself of the flabby tummy. :P LISTEN! GURLS OUT THERE!! LOSING WEIGHT IS SO FREAKING POSSIBLE!! Seriously, just go and do it! Get motivation and stick to the plan, but keep it real.. If only I had someone to tell me this before. Oh well, it's never too late. :)
Secondly, just finished SDMCSJ's official orientation...and now I really understand why people would not want to leave this haven. The perks are good, the attitude-positive, the people-wholesome. The culture has been well absorbed by most levels,and it is nice to see positive values at work for real. In addition to that, it is nice to meet so many new people. I've made friends with at least 5 new women. And yes, Bryan, you were right..I need more girlfriends. It is doing me good. Made friends with a CEO of a nursing college in the gym, made friends with 3 pharmacists (hehe) from SDMC, another girl from SDMC's purchasing dept, a female engineer from the gym, and became close to a front office girl in Fitness First summit. From the women that I already got to know, I'm learning so many life's lessons which most are dying to share with this naive, fresh, kid.
So many has been through divorces, some been through abuses, some have been through abortions with and without their boyfriends by them. Each one of them are so rich with lessons I am so thirsty for. I wished I could document each of their stories so that people could see through their eyes. I have sat up for nights thinking through what they have shared. The pain and healing they've all been through. For some it remains a scar for life. For others it makes them better people. It's amazing.
Oh yes, last friday, the 13th! My car window got smashed. *sigh*
Was out with Karen for dinner in OUG.My mistake. Left gym bag in the car. Smashed the little window of the back seat, wound down my window and took a bag of stinky gym clothes. Heh. bodo.. That warranted me a good bought of RETAIL THERAPY!!!!!!!
Haha....Spent the whole weekend shopping...:D Happinesssssss
I also had a good time with a friend,who happens to have feelings for me. i wonder why the people you care for end up not caring in return or hurting you like mad, and those who you do not expect anything from are the one that care so much about you. M-man has been at my beck and call. He found out about my car window and knew i was really upset, so he actually took me out clubbing. He found out that I love dogs, so he surprised me with a trip with the Malaysian Kennel Association Dog Show. And he knows I cannot return the feelings and he is still there for me. And I think of how mean R was..aih..
Anyways, I had a good time with Eng Onn, Siong Kiat, Sim, Peggy, Julie and..err...dunno name the other night. thanks guys! :)
Missing my teddy too..heh...you know who you are. :P
there goes lunch time.
Signing out!
Pebbles
Monday 9 March 2009
Of flirts and tease..
Well, I told a friend, J, that he is a flirt. He said, no...I'm just a tease..
So I ask, what's the bloody difference?
A tease do not take you for a ride. But I said that they do...emotional rides..
Well, we've been arguing since.
But in all honesty, why do we flirt and tease? I have to admit, I am a flirt too, and a tease..But I think these two are not really separable. Anyways, I flirt and tease, when I know it is mutual on both parties. And it is only when it is fun on both sides, both knowing it is nothing serious. It is a confidence boost, a compliment when it's both ways..
The rules do not apply when the other is not suspecting, and is actually falling for the other. That is when the brakes are pulled. YOU STOP FLIRTING, TEASING and whatever else you're doing!
I made it easy for J. I told him I liked him, and this is not going anywhere, so leave me alone.
But nooooooooo....He come back again and again.
I snub him..snap at him..virtually bite his head off!!
And he is back yet again!
He has offered to take me fishing and buy me lunch.. Hmm.. He is asking me to support his new dreams of building and boosting his band, "Pls support me Pearl..:)" (Maybe it's a problem with all musicians..haha). He still claims to be recently single..(both Althea and Geraldine doesn't buy it, and I have my suspicions..)
Okaaay..enuf of J-goss...
Flirting: Flirting is a form of human interaction between two people, expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.
Teasing: One form of teasing is to pretend to give something which the other desires, or giving it very slowly. This is usually done by arousing curiosity or desire and may not actually involve the intent to satisfy or disclose.
Flirt: To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures
Tease: To arouse hope, desire, or curiosity in without affording satisfaction.
Flirt: A person who is innocently overly friendly, especially the type of friendliness that is interpeted as seduction. Actions may include: giving away number, blowing kisses, caressing, and free lapdances.
Tease: A member of the opposite sex, ussualy a female who entices you into thinking you have a chance. Almost always ends with you having blueballs and feelings of sorrow, resentment and bitterness
HAHAHAHAHA
Hence, I do not think it is possible to be a tease without being a flirt, right?
Oh well..
Women's day passed me by, and all I did on that day was...sleep. :) I think it was a splendid way to spend women's day! :)
So I ask, what's the bloody difference?
A tease do not take you for a ride. But I said that they do...emotional rides..
Well, we've been arguing since.
But in all honesty, why do we flirt and tease? I have to admit, I am a flirt too, and a tease..But I think these two are not really separable. Anyways, I flirt and tease, when I know it is mutual on both parties. And it is only when it is fun on both sides, both knowing it is nothing serious. It is a confidence boost, a compliment when it's both ways..
The rules do not apply when the other is not suspecting, and is actually falling for the other. That is when the brakes are pulled. YOU STOP FLIRTING, TEASING and whatever else you're doing!
I made it easy for J. I told him I liked him, and this is not going anywhere, so leave me alone.
But nooooooooo....He come back again and again.
I snub him..snap at him..virtually bite his head off!!
And he is back yet again!
He has offered to take me fishing and buy me lunch.. Hmm.. He is asking me to support his new dreams of building and boosting his band, "Pls support me Pearl..:)" (Maybe it's a problem with all musicians..haha). He still claims to be recently single..(both Althea and Geraldine doesn't buy it, and I have my suspicions..)
Okaaay..enuf of J-goss...
Wikipedia:
Flirting: Flirting is a form of human interaction between two people, expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.
Teasing: One form of teasing is to pretend to give something which the other desires, or giving it very slowly. This is usually done by arousing curiosity or desire and may not actually involve the intent to satisfy or disclose.
Free dictionary:
Flirt: To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures
Tease: To arouse hope, desire, or curiosity in without affording satisfaction.
Urban dictionary:
Flirt: A person who is innocently overly friendly, especially the type of friendliness that is interpeted as seduction. Actions may include: giving away number, blowing kisses, caressing, and free lapdances.
Tease: A member of the opposite sex, ussualy a female who entices you into thinking you have a chance. Almost always ends with you having blueballs and feelings of sorrow, resentment and bitterness
HAHAHAHAHA
Hence, I do not think it is possible to be a tease without being a flirt, right?
Oh well..
Women's day passed me by, and all I did on that day was...sleep. :) I think it was a splendid way to spend women's day! :)
Sunday 8 March 2009
seaside
Just got back from a family picnic..
I made potato salad last night...gosh, I really miss making them sandwiches and potato and macaroni salad for css functions....I love my own extra pedas sardine sambal sandwich and extra yummy egg mayo sandwiches...Im a natural! HAHA..
neways, left pretty early this morning, and went to my former workplace, Tjg Bidara..walked pass the elephant rock and the big butt rock to set picnic spot. Had our food while Premko went on to build a sand castle for my nephew (yes, my bro build a sand castle while my 5 year old nephew stood next to him with his arms folded behind him and look on at what my bro was doing....mando style..heh).
Then I slept the next two hours there!!
Hahaha...
I really miss those nights on the beach...Staying up was tough, but nothing beats having the whole beach to yourself...and I especially have fond memories of my long walks with nazren to our little save haven on the other end of the 3km long beach...
Picnic was good...I over ate...Time to go burn calories...
Signing out!!
I made potato salad last night...gosh, I really miss making them sandwiches and potato and macaroni salad for css functions....I love my own extra pedas sardine sambal sandwich and extra yummy egg mayo sandwiches...Im a natural! HAHA..
neways, left pretty early this morning, and went to my former workplace, Tjg Bidara..walked pass the elephant rock and the big butt rock to set picnic spot. Had our food while Premko went on to build a sand castle for my nephew (yes, my bro build a sand castle while my 5 year old nephew stood next to him with his arms folded behind him and look on at what my bro was doing....mando style..heh).
Then I slept the next two hours there!!
Hahaha...
I really miss those nights on the beach...Staying up was tough, but nothing beats having the whole beach to yourself...and I especially have fond memories of my long walks with nazren to our little save haven on the other end of the 3km long beach...
Picnic was good...I over ate...Time to go burn calories...
Signing out!!
Thursday 5 March 2009
Thursday already??!!
I am really enjoying this bench i am on. I guess it's because the people on this bench are as serious about their work, and about obeying procedures
as I am..or as I intend to be.. It is cool to see super-efficence!And they are so skema.....so me! LOL.. For once in my life, (maybe this might be the second after Mdm Wee's a.k.a Jhen's Goddess's fantastic chemistry classes.. :)) Chemistry is not that frightful.. And, this time round, instead of calling nurses, I get to call doctors..Found out that Dr N and Dr S has fantastic phone voices...*swooned*
Shall not attempt trying to find out if they are handsome, young and single..the "phone voice" is good enough "candy"! LOL. So the journey of learning continues..:D
As for life in general, yesterday (till present hour) I am "merajuk-ing" with pt. Was mad at him for not taking the sessions seriously. And even more mad when he asked me if I was pist at him and asked if an extra session would make up for him. I just walked to my treadmill, and started running and told him i will talk to him when I am ready. And I ran like I never ran in my life!!
Went out with Kamini yesterday, and finally met Diana for the first time in my life! nice meeting ya babe.. :) Telawi Street bistro was pretty cool. Proud that I unintentionally found it on my own (with my great sense of direction). I watched Kamini n Di enjoy their fabolous food, while I stuck to my (effective) diet..:S But later on went on to meet Mahin, and ended up eating half a bowl of wantan mee!!! Evil Mahin!! he made me eat!! his fault!:P
Oh well, other than that, 'm really bored.. Looking forward to meet up with Karen...miss her loads...wanna catch up with evrything, down to evry detail!!! :)
Should I go back to Melaka this weekend???? Hmmmmm
Bored and mentally stunted, pebbles
as I am..or as I intend to be.. It is cool to see super-efficence!And they are so skema.....so me! LOL.. For once in my life, (maybe this might be the second after Mdm Wee's a.k.a Jhen's Goddess's fantastic chemistry classes.. :)) Chemistry is not that frightful.. And, this time round, instead of calling nurses, I get to call doctors..Found out that Dr N and Dr S has fantastic phone voices...*swooned*
Shall not attempt trying to find out if they are handsome, young and single..the "phone voice" is good enough "candy"! LOL. So the journey of learning continues..:D
As for life in general, yesterday (till present hour) I am "merajuk-ing" with pt. Was mad at him for not taking the sessions seriously. And even more mad when he asked me if I was pist at him and asked if an extra session would make up for him. I just walked to my treadmill, and started running and told him i will talk to him when I am ready. And I ran like I never ran in my life!!
Went out with Kamini yesterday, and finally met Diana for the first time in my life! nice meeting ya babe.. :) Telawi Street bistro was pretty cool. Proud that I unintentionally found it on my own (with my great sense of direction). I watched Kamini n Di enjoy their fabolous food, while I stuck to my (effective) diet..:S But later on went on to meet Mahin, and ended up eating half a bowl of wantan mee!!! Evil Mahin!! he made me eat!! his fault!:P
Oh well, other than that, 'm really bored.. Looking forward to meet up with Karen...miss her loads...wanna catch up with evrything, down to evry detail!!! :)
Should I go back to Melaka this weekend???? Hmmmmm
Bored and mentally stunted, pebbles
Wednesday 4 March 2009
office politics
ugh...hate it...
A month here and things are slowly being unveiled to me...
So much of balancing to do. Balancing being nice to whom and being professional enough... thank god for the few people I really like here..
Anyways, was really down this morning. Missing someone very much so so so much, but there's nothing that ca be done about it.Oh well..
Have a good day, while I go figure wht to do wit my "political crisis" here. *sigh*
Anyone in subang? call me out..Im bored!!!!!!!!
A month here and things are slowly being unveiled to me...
So much of balancing to do. Balancing being nice to whom and being professional enough... thank god for the few people I really like here..
Anyways, was really down this morning. Missing someone very much so so so much, but there's nothing that ca be done about it.Oh well..
Have a good day, while I go figure wht to do wit my "political crisis" here. *sigh*
Anyone in subang? call me out..Im bored!!!!!!!!
Tuesday 3 March 2009
Tired
so exhausted from all the workout, work n from being sick...
but the compliments for being hardworking and looking lighter is making me persevere....
I frightened myself silly from watching oprah. There was a show called the biggest loser if some of you can remember. Obese people competing to lose more weight. Oprah invited these people 3-4 years after the show. Half of them gained the weight they lost.. I was totally upset, cuz I know exactly how dat feels!
The people who gained the weight they lost said they gained it cuz they became fat people in thin bodies. Now that I don't get. i can easily say that I always gain the weight I lose because I become lazy and too contented having lost all that weight. In the end, I stop the exercise and start losing control over wht I eat and the amount I eat...
Another way of saying it is, I do not know how to maintain.
It is so easy to starve yourself till you lose the weight. Unfortunately it makes you gain it as fast as you lost it... I hate to admit it, but toning is so important....Aih...laziness...but I have to do this....
Sorry, venting..
The cough is better today, yet, the throat is hurting now..again!
ISH..geram....
And cough-en (cough mixture) is freaking potent! I took it last night, and now I can keep awake!!
Thank god for nescafe provided by tge company....:P
aite, gonna sign out....so so so sleepy.............
laterssssss
but the compliments for being hardworking and looking lighter is making me persevere....
I frightened myself silly from watching oprah. There was a show called the biggest loser if some of you can remember. Obese people competing to lose more weight. Oprah invited these people 3-4 years after the show. Half of them gained the weight they lost.. I was totally upset, cuz I know exactly how dat feels!
The people who gained the weight they lost said they gained it cuz they became fat people in thin bodies. Now that I don't get. i can easily say that I always gain the weight I lose because I become lazy and too contented having lost all that weight. In the end, I stop the exercise and start losing control over wht I eat and the amount I eat...
Another way of saying it is, I do not know how to maintain.
It is so easy to starve yourself till you lose the weight. Unfortunately it makes you gain it as fast as you lost it... I hate to admit it, but toning is so important....Aih...laziness...but I have to do this....
Sorry, venting..
The cough is better today, yet, the throat is hurting now..again!
ISH..geram....
And cough-en (cough mixture) is freaking potent! I took it last night, and now I can keep awake!!
Thank god for nescafe provided by tge company....:P
aite, gonna sign out....so so so sleepy.............
laterssssss
Sunday 1 March 2009
more observations
SECURITY GUARD
I've seen him at the Malacca public pool every time I go swimming. Never paid too much attention to the features of his face or anything else, 'cause he'd be either standing still waiving each of us in, or he'd be sitting writing in his log book.
Today, I went all out to swim 15 laps in under an hour (couldn't do 20...dang!) 'cause the roti canai I had that morning was eating me inside out!! After the swim, I was relaxing in the lounge area while waiting for my mom to come pick me up after her shopping. Suddenly Pak Guard stands up and walks towards the entrance, passing me in the process.
I watched him, intently, for the first time I think.
His steps were really really small..you know, like how our elderly grannies walk? His shoulders slumped..his hair almost completely white.
So I asked him, as he was passing by me if he had his lunch. He said yes, and mentioned he also minum-ed his kopi already. And then I went on to ask him till what time he had to work here. He said that he had to work till 7pm (it was about 12pm then) and that he was working 12 hours a day. He said 8 hours' pay can't make ends meet and 12 hours's pay helps a whole lot, but he is tired.
By now, i could see that his whites (eye) were red, and his pupils were gray, probably from cataract. He needs to see an ophthalmologist. He had a growth just under his moustache which probably needs some looking into.
After that he went on to the porch to sweep the little yellow flowers (sc gamma-rians...what was the name of that flower ar??) that were scattered round. it felt really sad watching him. Wondered if he had kids? Wondered if he has had any sort of luxury in his life?
Today, I went all out to swim 15 laps in under an hour (couldn't do 20...dang!) 'cause the roti canai I had that morning was eating me inside out!! After the swim, I was relaxing in the lounge area while waiting for my mom to come pick me up after her shopping. Suddenly Pak Guard stands up and walks towards the entrance, passing me in the process.
I watched him, intently, for the first time I think.
His steps were really really small..you know, like how our elderly grannies walk? His shoulders slumped..his hair almost completely white.
So I asked him, as he was passing by me if he had his lunch. He said yes, and mentioned he also minum-ed his kopi already. And then I went on to ask him till what time he had to work here. He said that he had to work till 7pm (it was about 12pm then) and that he was working 12 hours a day. He said 8 hours' pay can't make ends meet and 12 hours's pay helps a whole lot, but he is tired.
By now, i could see that his whites (eye) were red, and his pupils were gray, probably from cataract. He needs to see an ophthalmologist. He had a growth just under his moustache which probably needs some looking into.
After that he went on to the porch to sweep the little yellow flowers (sc gamma-rians...what was the name of that flower ar??) that were scattered round. it felt really sad watching him. Wondered if he had kids? Wondered if he has had any sort of luxury in his life?
"CLOSE" FRIENDS
Time and time again I make the same mistake of trusting people too much, letting them in too much and expecting too much.
When I do care for people, I give so much. Especially girlfriends. When I say something to a girlfriend, I mean it. It started with AT in secondary school. She went round backstabbing with AH and JH. Oh well, all's over and done with, yet I remember how bad it hurt.
Next came ET. That one I really jaga. I was there for her every single time she felt her life was a living hell. She was negative and pissed with everything in life, yet I tried to be as positive as possible for her. The one moment I turn to her for help, she says I only contact her when I need a substitute for a friend.
The killer was SS la. That was truly a sister. Who was just plain naive. This one, I can't pretend like nothing has happened between us.
Then now it's these two people. I allowed them in, only to be totally disappointed with them. Oh well, AT, ET & SS has taught me to let go of girlpals very easily. Too bad la..
When I do care for people, I give so much. Especially girlfriends. When I say something to a girlfriend, I mean it. It started with AT in secondary school. She went round backstabbing with AH and JH. Oh well, all's over and done with, yet I remember how bad it hurt.
Next came ET. That one I really jaga. I was there for her every single time she felt her life was a living hell. She was negative and pissed with everything in life, yet I tried to be as positive as possible for her. The one moment I turn to her for help, she says I only contact her when I need a substitute for a friend.
The killer was SS la. That was truly a sister. Who was just plain naive. This one, I can't pretend like nothing has happened between us.
Then now it's these two people. I allowed them in, only to be totally disappointed with them. Oh well, AT, ET & SS has taught me to let go of girlpals very easily. Too bad la..
LONELINESS
Ah, my new best friend actually. A new person I cannot live without right now. It should re-termed "Pearly Time." Loneliness sounds so negative most of the time, but right now, I really cannot fit a person into my life. Kenny said I need to put myself first. I have been doing that, but it seems meaningless. At the same time, a small dose of it is very very very good for the soul. It makes me wonder if I should commit to Alpha, 'cause I wanna join the choir actually. And part of having me time is being able to do the things I wanna do, which is gym at the moment. Working out is when I space out and reflect on what I want today, this week, this month, this year, my life! That STUPID treadmill is too bloody therapeutic! Hate it! Haha.. At the gym, I am PEARLY! I am me! I am not a mask I put on. It is so refreshing. I can be sarcastic, sweet, blur and smart all at one go! How fun!
But i have noticed a kind of "loneliness" in people too..men in particular.
There are so many lost lost screwed up people in KL I tell you. Empty people. So empty it hurts to gaze into their souls, 'cause they are in so much of pain. They have no meaning in life. Money is their God and richness is their religion. That is all that goes on in their lives.
Which makes me wanna just grab hold of alpha that I may not lose my way too...
Making any sense?
Kaminiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I love ya gal!!!!
Happy birthday in advance!
You are a beautiful, successful, smart and such a darling of a woman! From that 5 year old with pony tails to the piece of art you are today, I love ya to bits!
Muaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, my new best friend actually. A new person I cannot live without right now. It should re-termed "Pearly Time." Loneliness sounds so negative most of the time, but right now, I really cannot fit a person into my life. Kenny said I need to put myself first. I have been doing that, but it seems meaningless. At the same time, a small dose of it is very very very good for the soul. It makes me wonder if I should commit to Alpha, 'cause I wanna join the choir actually. And part of having me time is being able to do the things I wanna do, which is gym at the moment. Working out is when I space out and reflect on what I want today, this week, this month, this year, my life! That STUPID treadmill is too bloody therapeutic! Hate it! Haha.. At the gym, I am PEARLY! I am me! I am not a mask I put on. It is so refreshing. I can be sarcastic, sweet, blur and smart all at one go! How fun!
But i have noticed a kind of "loneliness" in people too..men in particular.
There are so many lost lost screwed up people in KL I tell you. Empty people. So empty it hurts to gaze into their souls, 'cause they are in so much of pain. They have no meaning in life. Money is their God and richness is their religion. That is all that goes on in their lives.
Which makes me wanna just grab hold of alpha that I may not lose my way too...
Making any sense?
Kaminiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I love ya gal!!!!
Happy birthday in advance!
You are a beautiful, successful, smart and such a darling of a woman! From that 5 year old with pony tails to the piece of art you are today, I love ya to bits!
Muaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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