the last one I think i can remember making me look freakingly goofy in the car in the jam is this one....I think he looks like a rasta john travolta....and he looks so...er...effeminate...:S yet if i just blocked the vid out...i still start daydreaming when it plays on the radio...night peeps..
Monday 6 December 2010
Random
This one..hmm.....cant dance to save his life..and the video sux...lines promote values i dun think i should agree with...but anyways, its still sweet...(ah..the mistake of women....the soft-heartedness......:P)
tak faham la..the video and the song tak clik..dun u think? Hahaha
ah...grinning.......very goofy right now...:)
tak faham la..the video and the song tak clik..dun u think? Hahaha
ah...grinning.......very goofy right now...:)
Jason mraz is a hawtie...and a sweet heart....
This one is special...it brings back extra special memories...late night strolls along the moonlit beach...oh yes....it so did happen...hmm...maybe its the whole ukulele thingy that gives it a relax feel...
jason mraz has some awesome songs...but to hear someone say 'I'm yours' is priceless........:D
STILL GRINNING!!
jason mraz has some awesome songs...but to hear someone say 'I'm yours' is priceless........:D
STILL GRINNING!!
Another.....:)
The words are just so flattering....sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.........:) and the music just gets me..:)
ok...so cant stop grinning now....:)
Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brain??Lol! nonsense...
I like th part he goes 'the way you move ain't fair you know..' :D
ok...so cant stop grinning now....:)
Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brain??Lol! nonsense...
I like th part he goes 'the way you move ain't fair you know..' :D
Continued nonsense..part 2
okies...this guy's video is kinda interesting...he seems a lil artisitic...and sometimes, he may sound real corny (that i'd catch a grenade for you song...:P)..but still, I'm sure some of us know how corny lines still get you when the right person says it at the right time...:)
p.s: dang it..he's short...:S
p.s: dang it..he's short...:S
Nonsense...
Decided to just share that literally puts a huge GRIN on my face!!
Some of them have good music, some lyrics are just so corny-ly good...:P
This one is on the list because of its melody...:)
Enjoy!!
Some of them have good music, some lyrics are just so corny-ly good...:P
This one is on the list because of its melody...:)
Enjoy!!
Tuesday 9 November 2010
BREAK IN! B@st@rdS!
Okay, so I had the weekend planned out. Was working 9-6 on deepavali, 6-11 on saturday and 6-9 on sunday/monday.
Not too bad a plan...
On saturday, i went back to my place after the call. reached home at about 11.15. Was happily chanting te saeculorum to myself, practising for Christ the King.
My housemates were away, two in melaka and another in penang.
Being home alone was never a problem here.
But I found the padlock missing, and my grill unlocked.
So I was like, "Hmm...weird..."
Then I proceeded to my door, and the keyhole was now horizontal (it was vertical)
I didn't like the wa this was going.....I was still mumbling the lyrics of Te saeculorum at this point..
So I turn the knob, and I was like' "Oh crap...break in..knob spoilt.."
I peeked in and saw all the lights on, including my room lights (which had been spoilt for some time now..hmmm). My door was wide open, and it was ransacked....
Instincts told me to back away...i went to the airwell, and looked at my apartment to see that the lights of my housemates room and bathroom was off...and I was still telling myself, "ok, ok, don't panic, it is a break in," when I saw the lights switched off!!
CRAP!! THEY WERE STILL IN THERE!!
Walked calmly to the lifts, pressed the button.."oh no!"...went to the stairs..."oh no, they might run through the stairwell!"...heard the lift arriving! Went into the lift and went to the level below it, and peeked at my place from the airwell..."crap"...
they must have heard me when i released the door..(the door closes on it's own)
Okie...called housemates, made sure it wasn't them there...called Kevin (superman) and then ran to the 6th floor, and called the guards.
By the time the security people got to the unit, the people left. went to the cops, made a report, (my fourth in this lifetime), waited for the forensics to sweep the place, spent the night at my brother's...
So there....break in Rhythm Avenue, USJ 19, Subang Jaya.
Bloody place, lousy security, even lousy management!
Time to move out, Althea, now I can take your advice again, get a house in SS 13,14,15,17,18 or 19, and not USJ 19! Lol....
I did lose the chain my mom gave me, made from the gold from my father's medals, and the ring my father gave my sister for her 16 birthday, and which she in turn gave me for my 19th birthday, the gold pendant my godmother gave me when I was born, my my mom's hip gold earrings.
I feel like calamity jane right about now...
Sigh....
Not too bad a plan...
On saturday, i went back to my place after the call. reached home at about 11.15. Was happily chanting te saeculorum to myself, practising for Christ the King.
My housemates were away, two in melaka and another in penang.
Being home alone was never a problem here.
But I found the padlock missing, and my grill unlocked.
So I was like, "Hmm...weird..."
Then I proceeded to my door, and the keyhole was now horizontal (it was vertical)
I didn't like the wa this was going.....I was still mumbling the lyrics of Te saeculorum at this point..
So I turn the knob, and I was like' "Oh crap...break in..knob spoilt.."
I peeked in and saw all the lights on, including my room lights (which had been spoilt for some time now..hmmm). My door was wide open, and it was ransacked....
Instincts told me to back away...i went to the airwell, and looked at my apartment to see that the lights of my housemates room and bathroom was off...and I was still telling myself, "ok, ok, don't panic, it is a break in," when I saw the lights switched off!!
CRAP!! THEY WERE STILL IN THERE!!
Walked calmly to the lifts, pressed the button.."oh no!"...went to the stairs..."oh no, they might run through the stairwell!"...heard the lift arriving! Went into the lift and went to the level below it, and peeked at my place from the airwell..."crap"...
they must have heard me when i released the door..(the door closes on it's own)
Okie...called housemates, made sure it wasn't them there...called Kevin (superman) and then ran to the 6th floor, and called the guards.
By the time the security people got to the unit, the people left. went to the cops, made a report, (my fourth in this lifetime), waited for the forensics to sweep the place, spent the night at my brother's...
So there....break in Rhythm Avenue, USJ 19, Subang Jaya.
Bloody place, lousy security, even lousy management!
Time to move out, Althea, now I can take your advice again, get a house in SS 13,14,15,17,18 or 19, and not USJ 19! Lol....
I did lose the chain my mom gave me, made from the gold from my father's medals, and the ring my father gave my sister for her 16 birthday, and which she in turn gave me for my 19th birthday, the gold pendant my godmother gave me when I was born, my my mom's hip gold earrings.
I feel like calamity jane right about now...
Sigh....
Sunday 31 October 2010
one month 3 days, almost
since I decided to stop the Musadpearly relationship, and still fell for his charms, and still stayed single...not bad all in all I guess...
In that time, I have been:
1. Good
2. praying
3. singing
4. falling sick on and off (sorethroat...okok..its not the singing k?)
5. cheated by fitness first malaysia, summit branch to be exact
6. irritated with streamyx
7. feeling ugly
8. chastised for saying i feel ugly time and time again
9. irritating to a fren, an ex and myself
10. running away from bad people
11. reading
12. smiling a whole lot more
13. happier actually
I somehow found company...its not so lonely being a single, working girl in the big bad subang jaya (almost) city..there are so many of us...many are good friends...I guess, when u get past the self pity, the pride and the rat race, it is better being single than being with a man who does not treat u as u ought to be treated.
And right now, Im not meeting the right sort of men..at all...well...I had a glimpse of some of them...but...I dunno...our common friend did not do much to help foster a friendship...
Oh well..it is still a struggle..taking one day at a time, accomplishing things I never thought I'd accomplish..
In that time, I have been:
1. Good
2. praying
3. singing
4. falling sick on and off (sorethroat...okok..its not the singing k?)
5. cheated by fitness first malaysia, summit branch to be exact
6. irritated with streamyx
7. feeling ugly
8. chastised for saying i feel ugly time and time again
9. irritating to a fren, an ex and myself
10. running away from bad people
11. reading
12. smiling a whole lot more
13. happier actually
I somehow found company...its not so lonely being a single, working girl in the big bad subang jaya (almost) city..there are so many of us...many are good friends...I guess, when u get past the self pity, the pride and the rat race, it is better being single than being with a man who does not treat u as u ought to be treated.
And right now, Im not meeting the right sort of men..at all...well...I had a glimpse of some of them...but...I dunno...our common friend did not do much to help foster a friendship...
Oh well..it is still a struggle..taking one day at a time, accomplishing things I never thought I'd accomplish..
Tuesday 28 September 2010
sipping on lemonade
Im sipping on lemonade and allowing life to pass me by again...
I've signed up for personal training again, with a much more reliable trainer...decided not to stave myself this time... It was a good first session...unfortunately I have only 29 to go...:( its almost too sad...and now I have a wedding to attend on the 15th of October...with Kevin...hmm..it did feel weird when he asked me to accompany him, but what the heck..I'll just go along...Anyways, reason of mentioning wedding was because..YEAH! I get to dress up...but me so fat again..sigh....hoping training will work some magic..but its hard work all over again! No accident this time to ruin it!!
Work has been a pain
I had a night call with a very incompetent technician. He stopped doing calls for the last 5 years, and now he wants to upgrade to executive level and in turn become a technologist, so he decided to start doing his calls again. And it was bad!!! He did not know anything! I practically had to run the lab on my own!! I was almost in tears when there was a bad bleeding case, and I was almost out of blood!! Gosh, it was so freaking traumatic! I worked 15 hours non stop, and crashed the next day...it was too much for my body...did not like it at all!
Musad...oh well....now that things are over, he is being all nice again...I m trying my best to not allow his charms to melt me..and hence need more distractions...have learned that work is a unhealthy distraction dat gets me more money to go for retail therapy...guess that works huh?
Sigh, got to do somethin about late night lemonades la...hmmm....
I've signed up for personal training again, with a much more reliable trainer...decided not to stave myself this time... It was a good first session...unfortunately I have only 29 to go...:( its almost too sad...and now I have a wedding to attend on the 15th of October...with Kevin...hmm..it did feel weird when he asked me to accompany him, but what the heck..I'll just go along...Anyways, reason of mentioning wedding was because..YEAH! I get to dress up...but me so fat again..sigh....hoping training will work some magic..but its hard work all over again! No accident this time to ruin it!!
Work has been a pain
I had a night call with a very incompetent technician. He stopped doing calls for the last 5 years, and now he wants to upgrade to executive level and in turn become a technologist, so he decided to start doing his calls again. And it was bad!!! He did not know anything! I practically had to run the lab on my own!! I was almost in tears when there was a bad bleeding case, and I was almost out of blood!! Gosh, it was so freaking traumatic! I worked 15 hours non stop, and crashed the next day...it was too much for my body...did not like it at all!
Musad...oh well....now that things are over, he is being all nice again...I m trying my best to not allow his charms to melt me..and hence need more distractions...have learned that work is a unhealthy distraction dat gets me more money to go for retail therapy...guess that works huh?
Sigh, got to do somethin about late night lemonades la...hmmm....
Friday 27 August 2010
ARGHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh
I AM PISSED!!!!!!!!!!
On a beautiful public holiday, and I open facebook...when i arrived at my homepage, this was starring me in my face:
This piece of 'news' was posted by a colleague of mine. I couldn't resist but to put '???' in the comment box. I was so annoyed. Translating it, this paragraph claims that there are Malay priests active in Seremban and there are 1900 malay priests in Singapore already. They are apparently using magic, lacing mineral water with Holy Water, and distributing them, free or very cheap, under the names Al-Baramkah, Al-Mansori and Al-Bistaria. And then the message asks to spread this word around to all muslims.
Initially I was gonna rebut everything claimed here. but I decided not to, because I think the only thing I can say is there is a great, great level of ignorance in Malaysia. While the minorities learn about others and heed the call to live in tolerance and unity, the majority has a total lack of tolerance, and is totally insensitive to the rest.
it saddens me so much to see us slide backwards. I went for a movie with a Maldivian friend yesterday.And we were queuing up for tickets, and two groupd behind us just cut in front of us. I was so mad. Then at the counter, this guy, Prem who was manning it was rude. This is GSC in Midvalley. I was close to calling for the manager, but I did not want to ruin the night, so I just tolerated it. Thank God the guy Yusree at the popcorn stand was a million times better. After the movies we went to McD's and once again, this Indian girl, I can't recall her name, was not very polite either. SS15 McD, Subang Jaya, next to Starbucks.
Another time, in PJ, this car in front of my brother and I just wound down and threw his tissue out the window.
This is Malaysia right now. And my Maldivian friend was asking why none of the Malaysian youth believe in One Malaysia. This is why.
The root cause of the problem is not addressed. A slogan on the surface would not do anything. You can't just please the masses with superficiality any more. People are educated and going with the times.
My friend who is a Dean's list student from the esteemed University Malaya, was not given a scholarship because she wants to pursue her masters in Australia. And what do they ask her? 'How would we know if you will come back and serve Malaysia?' With that they have truly lost a scholar who really loves Malaysia because it is her home.
We make poor choices.We reap poorer produce.
Can't they get that straight? Before looking at how others could do better, we need to look in retrospect! You can only put a lid on on a boiling pot for so long before it pushes the lid off.
I am sad and very troubled.
On a beautiful public holiday, and I open facebook...when i arrived at my homepage, this was starring me in my face:
PADERI MELAYU SEDANG AKTIF DI SEREMBAN 1900 ORANG PADERI MELAYU YANG BARU TIBA DARI SINGAPURA BERADA DI SINI SEKARANG. MEREKA MENGGUNAKAN SIHIR. AIR MINERAL JENAMA:- 1. AL -BARAMKAH 2.AL-MANSORI 3. AL-BISTARIA P/S : SAMA ADA DIPEROLEHI SECARA PERCUMA ATAU DIJUAL MURAH SEMUA AIR-AIR INI TELAH DICAMPUR DENGAN 'HOLY ...WATER' TOLONG SEBARKAN MESSAGE INI KEPADA SEMUA UMAT ISLAM/SAHABAT/SAHABIAH & DLL.
This piece of 'news' was posted by a colleague of mine. I couldn't resist but to put '???' in the comment box. I was so annoyed. Translating it, this paragraph claims that there are Malay priests active in Seremban and there are 1900 malay priests in Singapore already. They are apparently using magic, lacing mineral water with Holy Water, and distributing them, free or very cheap, under the names Al-Baramkah, Al-Mansori and Al-Bistaria. And then the message asks to spread this word around to all muslims.
Initially I was gonna rebut everything claimed here. but I decided not to, because I think the only thing I can say is there is a great, great level of ignorance in Malaysia. While the minorities learn about others and heed the call to live in tolerance and unity, the majority has a total lack of tolerance, and is totally insensitive to the rest.
it saddens me so much to see us slide backwards. I went for a movie with a Maldivian friend yesterday.And we were queuing up for tickets, and two groupd behind us just cut in front of us. I was so mad. Then at the counter, this guy, Prem who was manning it was rude. This is GSC in Midvalley. I was close to calling for the manager, but I did not want to ruin the night, so I just tolerated it. Thank God the guy Yusree at the popcorn stand was a million times better. After the movies we went to McD's and once again, this Indian girl, I can't recall her name, was not very polite either. SS15 McD, Subang Jaya, next to Starbucks.
Another time, in PJ, this car in front of my brother and I just wound down and threw his tissue out the window.
This is Malaysia right now. And my Maldivian friend was asking why none of the Malaysian youth believe in One Malaysia. This is why.
The root cause of the problem is not addressed. A slogan on the surface would not do anything. You can't just please the masses with superficiality any more. People are educated and going with the times.
My friend who is a Dean's list student from the esteemed University Malaya, was not given a scholarship because she wants to pursue her masters in Australia. And what do they ask her? 'How would we know if you will come back and serve Malaysia?' With that they have truly lost a scholar who really loves Malaysia because it is her home.
We make poor choices.We reap poorer produce.
Can't they get that straight? Before looking at how others could do better, we need to look in retrospect! You can only put a lid on on a boiling pot for so long before it pushes the lid off.
I am sad and very troubled.
Sunday 15 August 2010
The Reluctant Saint
The Reluctant Saint is a production by the Redemptorists in conjunction with their 75 years of presence in Malaysia and Singapore. It will be playing in Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre from the 24th-28th in Pentas 1.It is the story of the young Alphonsus Liguori, a lawyer in Naples. It is the story of how he made a turn from a hotshot lawyer from a noble family to a priest with a love for the needy.
I was truly impressed by the performance and was pleasantly surprised to see a few familiar faces in the crew, especially Viviene and Kerry-Ann!
I am so grateful to Aunty Jo Scriven, for giving me the tickets, with premium seats mind you! :P She was such a delight! And was so happy to meet Rrrrrraph!! and my cousins there as well!
The Reluctant Saint is a must watch if you can still obtain the tickets! More so as the proceeds would be given to the Haiti Disaster Relief Fund. The Redemptorist mission was destroyed during the recent calamity. The production was more heartfelt since one of the major events in the production was the earthquake in Scala, the place St Alphonsus Liguori served for 30 odd years.
I was truly impressed, and I could see that the crew gave it their all! Fr Patrick Massang was so inspirational, and I could see that the Shepherd gave it his 101% to it!
*dunno how to put emotions into words*
Go watch it!!
Bravo to the crew!!! Well done!!
Thursday 12 August 2010
sipping on lemonade
that's the current fad...lemonade...yummm...
Well...it was kinda tummy wrenching when I was sipping on lemonade and reading about the victims of the floods and landslides all over china, and pakistan...It was really sad..over here, i had a good day, slept the morning and afternooon away as I prepared for my night call at the hospital.
Yet, I could not stop thinking about the victims in China and Pakistan. What if that happened to me and my family in Malaysia..the general population would be sipping lemonade somewhere else reading about it in the papers.
The thing is we are not indifferent. but there is a limited means for us to help. I am barely making ends meet, in a country whose currency is becoming weaker, and where there is a real problem of disunity...Education is bad, there is no professionalism, and everything is just mediocre...We were once football champions in the region, and now Korea and Japan has gone the distance while we live in past glory, admiring the heroes of before. Our standards of English has dropped to the point local graduates are unemployable because of the command of the language. I am uncertain of the quality of my locally obtained degree, because I do not trust the system!
I feel like we are stuck, while everyone else is advancing. Hence the helplessness of not being to lend a helping hand to the victims of the disasters. I could lament my predicament, but the truth is, people are still suffering. Some child out there has lost a parent. Some mother has lost her family. Someone's grandfather is stranded with on the clothes on his back!
Right now, all I am able to do is look for means to aid them, and also pray for the victims....
Well...it was kinda tummy wrenching when I was sipping on lemonade and reading about the victims of the floods and landslides all over china, and pakistan...It was really sad..over here, i had a good day, slept the morning and afternooon away as I prepared for my night call at the hospital.
Yet, I could not stop thinking about the victims in China and Pakistan. What if that happened to me and my family in Malaysia..the general population would be sipping lemonade somewhere else reading about it in the papers.
The thing is we are not indifferent. but there is a limited means for us to help. I am barely making ends meet, in a country whose currency is becoming weaker, and where there is a real problem of disunity...Education is bad, there is no professionalism, and everything is just mediocre...We were once football champions in the region, and now Korea and Japan has gone the distance while we live in past glory, admiring the heroes of before. Our standards of English has dropped to the point local graduates are unemployable because of the command of the language. I am uncertain of the quality of my locally obtained degree, because I do not trust the system!
I feel like we are stuck, while everyone else is advancing. Hence the helplessness of not being to lend a helping hand to the victims of the disasters. I could lament my predicament, but the truth is, people are still suffering. Some child out there has lost a parent. Some mother has lost her family. Someone's grandfather is stranded with on the clothes on his back!
Right now, all I am able to do is look for means to aid them, and also pray for the victims....
Wednesday 4 August 2010
Freaky
Okie, so I'm 25, single and very very very much young at heart! (Hey, I'm serious ok....people think I'm still studying...:P)
I have friends, who are my age and younger, and having kids since I was 18....fine...most of them did not further their studies and are of a different cultural background...
And then, now friends who are around my age, with the similar background, meaning people I could hang out with, are having babies too...and whoa...in a day, everything changes! Fatherhood/motherhood totally turns your life around.
Now, do not get me wrong, but I want to have children some day, with a man who is to be my best friend, and with me having all the stability needed to raise a family. I am not in emotional shape to even date properly, what else having a kid, and mind you, not blowing my bubble, but I am those who never went around dating in my teenage years, cuz I knew I did not know better, and am glad I waited, and had two beautiful relationships since my uni days, both with minimal regret, and have gain 2 beautiful friends for life.
I love my single life right now, I have so much about myself to discover and explore. I finally performed on stage, making a debut in the hospital only though,I have sang with a freaking huge life band, I have performed salsa for christmas parties and have it on youtube!! I have traveled to Italy, planning to explore south east asia in the next few years then fly further. I have plans to perhaps work overseas someday...so many things to do! I can go to Bali/Phuket with my best friend and have a whale of a time being spoilt as only a girl would be! I love being 25! I am only now ready to begin a solid, and real relationship, and enjoy being loved for who I am.
I do wish I could be a young mom, but I do not want to deprieve my chldren of the maturity I would have giving myself a little more time on my own. Gosh, the books I want to read, the stuff I wanna learn, the things I wanna do! I dun want to spend my life pushing my kids to try the stuff I never had the chance to. I love working in the hospital, playing a part in saving lives. I just love where I am now.
And yes, after all this, I do have insecurities... I am afraid I won't find a partner, I am afraid I will die, not knowing how it feels being committed to that one person till death do us part, I am afraid I will spend the evenings of my later years, strolling places alone. So many fears, but I guess I cannot succumb to it.
Corney as this sounds, I think this is something faced by many of my girl friends.. Oh well, at least I would still have my best friends around..:)
I have friends, who are my age and younger, and having kids since I was 18....fine...most of them did not further their studies and are of a different cultural background...
And then, now friends who are around my age, with the similar background, meaning people I could hang out with, are having babies too...and whoa...in a day, everything changes! Fatherhood/motherhood totally turns your life around.
Now, do not get me wrong, but I want to have children some day, with a man who is to be my best friend, and with me having all the stability needed to raise a family. I am not in emotional shape to even date properly, what else having a kid, and mind you, not blowing my bubble, but I am those who never went around dating in my teenage years, cuz I knew I did not know better, and am glad I waited, and had two beautiful relationships since my uni days, both with minimal regret, and have gain 2 beautiful friends for life.
I love my single life right now, I have so much about myself to discover and explore. I finally performed on stage, making a debut in the hospital only though,I have sang with a freaking huge life band, I have performed salsa for christmas parties and have it on youtube!! I have traveled to Italy, planning to explore south east asia in the next few years then fly further. I have plans to perhaps work overseas someday...so many things to do! I can go to Bali/Phuket with my best friend and have a whale of a time being spoilt as only a girl would be! I love being 25! I am only now ready to begin a solid, and real relationship, and enjoy being loved for who I am.
I do wish I could be a young mom, but I do not want to deprieve my chldren of the maturity I would have giving myself a little more time on my own. Gosh, the books I want to read, the stuff I wanna learn, the things I wanna do! I dun want to spend my life pushing my kids to try the stuff I never had the chance to. I love working in the hospital, playing a part in saving lives. I just love where I am now.
And yes, after all this, I do have insecurities... I am afraid I won't find a partner, I am afraid I will die, not knowing how it feels being committed to that one person till death do us part, I am afraid I will spend the evenings of my later years, strolling places alone. So many fears, but I guess I cannot succumb to it.
Corney as this sounds, I think this is something faced by many of my girl friends.. Oh well, at least I would still have my best friends around..:)
Sunday 1 August 2010
Excitement!
I was excited because I performed on Friday!! I looked like a stuffed potato, but I think I sounded pretty good!
It was exhilarating! I was nervous but the moment I was on stage, it was perfect! Belted out 'I want to spend my lifetime loving you' with a colleague who is the local celebrity apparently in the hospital... However, every time I practiced the song on my own, I felt that the chorus, was not to just a lover, n but more fitted for a Divine Lover.
For some reason, every time I sang I want to spend my lifetime loving you, it was most fitting to God. Whom else would I want to spend my lifetime loving? Who else was worth it? The rest of the world may think I'm cuckoo..but at least Feli thought it was beautiful.
Pics are on facebook! Me looking like a (stuffed potato) spanish senorita...:P With a HUGE rose on my head! Haha..It was fun...
Oh well...can't wait to see the video! :)
Good night guys...
It was exhilarating! I was nervous but the moment I was on stage, it was perfect! Belted out 'I want to spend my lifetime loving you' with a colleague who is the local celebrity apparently in the hospital... However, every time I practiced the song on my own, I felt that the chorus, was not to just a lover, n but more fitted for a Divine Lover.
For some reason, every time I sang I want to spend my lifetime loving you, it was most fitting to God. Whom else would I want to spend my lifetime loving? Who else was worth it? The rest of the world may think I'm cuckoo..but at least Feli thought it was beautiful.
Pics are on facebook! Me looking like a (stuffed potato) spanish senorita...:P With a HUGE rose on my head! Haha..It was fun...
Oh well...can't wait to see the video! :)
Good night guys...
Monday 21 June 2010
so many many many thingsssssssssss
Updates updates!!!!!!!!!!
Work: boss is a painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...... but the quality officer is really cool! I'm running correlations for different dengue kits, for both antibodies and also antigen detection. It is nice to perform a study and to have a report with your name printed below!! :D The scientist in me delights in the little things that define the sensitivity and specificity of the kits! Yeaa yea...me a nerd, me knows...:P
Life: I am soooooooo glad to be able to separate my LIFE from WORK! Haha...that makes me the happiest thing alive! :) Let's see....I'm getting the hang of chanting for Vespers..Cantor-ing is challenging (with me creating a 'new tune' every now and then..:P). It is empowering to be able to chant in Latin, to learn so many Latin hymns and canticles. My father would have been proud of me. Currently trying to master the solemn Salve Regina..mallismatic chants are tough...
The preparation for the PAG team is pretty cool too. We are now planning for the training camp coming up on the second weekend of July. Mostly on community living..and about living a Christ centred life in the secular world. Also, empowering them to take up responsibilities and learning accountability...It is enriching watching them grow from strength to strength!
On top of that, the Catholic Students Society of my old university called me to conduct a session or two for their upcoming Exco Planning Camp. It was heart warming to get juniors who have no clue who I am to call me to give a talk and impart some of the experience I had as a President 3 years ago. I was mostly touched that the juniors remembered the work I put in for them...and once again, I must remember to thank the Lord for working wonders through me at my weakest times...I was a wreck back then, and yet something so beautiful came out of it...Sigh..amazing huh?
The module we are working on based on the Purpose Driven Life is slowly taking shape... It is amazing to see the work Natalie put up...I was impressed with the questions she asked, and it was a very fruitful meeting..I am excited to try it for university students as we have planned it to be...
Unfortunately, the love life has been a pain..Lol. Nothing is perfect eh? It is hard to put my trust completely in the Lord in all things. I think it just feels so bad because I can't seem to be ble to open my heart to the few guys who seem interested...but i guess it is for good reasons la...one lives an immoral life...and has no plans of changing it..another is too young for me..There is still one who has been there for me through so many things, but i think cannot la...too young...Sometimes it does get the better of me..I can end up crying for no apparent reason....I just have to drag myself in prayer to sustain me...nothing else does it....Sigh...difficult eh?
My family is doing fantastic..I am so happy that my 2nd brother is now working in KL as well....now I really feel likeI have someone to rely on here in KL....I am sooooooo relieved and I really thank God for it...He has been looking after me all these years..in uni I had my faithful Bryan,Rubern, Cheese and Chia wei looking out for me..then Kevin came around...and now my brother is here...I am lucky...
oh well...all's well and fine I guess......ciao.............
Love, Pebblesssss
Work: boss is a painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...... but the quality officer is really cool! I'm running correlations for different dengue kits, for both antibodies and also antigen detection. It is nice to perform a study and to have a report with your name printed below!! :D The scientist in me delights in the little things that define the sensitivity and specificity of the kits! Yeaa yea...me a nerd, me knows...:P
Life: I am soooooooo glad to be able to separate my LIFE from WORK! Haha...that makes me the happiest thing alive! :) Let's see....I'm getting the hang of chanting for Vespers..Cantor-ing is challenging (with me creating a 'new tune' every now and then..:P). It is empowering to be able to chant in Latin, to learn so many Latin hymns and canticles. My father would have been proud of me. Currently trying to master the solemn Salve Regina..mallismatic chants are tough...
The preparation for the PAG team is pretty cool too. We are now planning for the training camp coming up on the second weekend of July. Mostly on community living..and about living a Christ centred life in the secular world. Also, empowering them to take up responsibilities and learning accountability...It is enriching watching them grow from strength to strength!
On top of that, the Catholic Students Society of my old university called me to conduct a session or two for their upcoming Exco Planning Camp. It was heart warming to get juniors who have no clue who I am to call me to give a talk and impart some of the experience I had as a President 3 years ago. I was mostly touched that the juniors remembered the work I put in for them...and once again, I must remember to thank the Lord for working wonders through me at my weakest times...I was a wreck back then, and yet something so beautiful came out of it...Sigh..amazing huh?
The module we are working on based on the Purpose Driven Life is slowly taking shape... It is amazing to see the work Natalie put up...I was impressed with the questions she asked, and it was a very fruitful meeting..I am excited to try it for university students as we have planned it to be...
Unfortunately, the love life has been a pain..Lol. Nothing is perfect eh? It is hard to put my trust completely in the Lord in all things. I think it just feels so bad because I can't seem to be ble to open my heart to the few guys who seem interested...but i guess it is for good reasons la...one lives an immoral life...and has no plans of changing it..another is too young for me..There is still one who has been there for me through so many things, but i think cannot la...too young...Sometimes it does get the better of me..I can end up crying for no apparent reason....I just have to drag myself in prayer to sustain me...nothing else does it....Sigh...difficult eh?
My family is doing fantastic..I am so happy that my 2nd brother is now working in KL as well....now I really feel likeI have someone to rely on here in KL....I am sooooooo relieved and I really thank God for it...He has been looking after me all these years..in uni I had my faithful Bryan,Rubern, Cheese and Chia wei looking out for me..then Kevin came around...and now my brother is here...I am lucky...
oh well...all's well and fine I guess......ciao.............
Love, Pebblesssss
Monday 24 May 2010
emotions and a girl
If you are a woman, you will understand how difficult it is to handle our bloody emotions! Its like we're born with a leaking faucet of emotions. How on earth we don't exhaust it, I don't know!!
And it's even more irritating when your rational mind knows you are thinking irrationally, and yet the bloody emotions just continues to effect how you feel. And as much as you know the phase would pass, at the particular phase, all you wanna do is mope and rant and vent and bitch..
Sigh....
Man, I feel like a woman!! :)
Yet, being a woman is also liberating. A woman is so free..and so loved. :)
I'm loving it!!
And it's even more irritating when your rational mind knows you are thinking irrationally, and yet the bloody emotions just continues to effect how you feel. And as much as you know the phase would pass, at the particular phase, all you wanna do is mope and rant and vent and bitch..
Sigh....
Man, I feel like a woman!! :)
Yet, being a woman is also liberating. A woman is so free..and so loved. :)
I'm loving it!!
Monday 17 May 2010
Of travelling, singing and planning!!
My weekend was CRAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYYY...
The looniness started Friday when Ian decided that I was leading Vespers on Sunday! And that meant chanting quite a bit solo..And the thing about chanting is that, the voice and tones have to be clear, and there's a fine line between solemn and sombre! :p Anyways, needless to say, i was FREAKING OUT!
I went home Friday night dead tired, went to work on Saturday, met up with my second brother for lunch, sped home to Melaka, and spent the evening watching Playhouse Disney with my nephew. Had a birthday dinner for my oldest brother,, watched this fantastic British show called 'The stars are in their eyes,' then practically died from exhaustion.
Sunday morning, had a typical unhealthy Malaysian breakfast of Roti canai with the family, packed and headed right back to KL. Immediately picked Feli up for a formation session with the PAG team, after which I rushed over to SFX for Vespers practice right before Vespers!
Yes, I was a bundle of nerves!!
I got everything right, but for some reason could not get the final blessing right.
And so...I created a new tune dat evening!
Thank God, Ian n Ben has created such a positive spirit amongst us, that after my 'fiasco' Ben texted and affirmed me for a job well done although I did create a new tune! Hehehehe
Oh well...the weekend slipped by me again, and I really dread work. It is so difficult to take my job seriously. Worse I find my work making me nastier than nicer. It is just so difficult to refrain from being like the rest of them. It is so difficult to stand out in character and performance. the management does not make it any easier. I find myself smiling less and less at work. And when people ask if I am happy, I do not know what to say. I might be a little happy, but I do not see a future for me.
I wonder if lecturing might suit me better? It might, it might not.
What I know now is that I am luckier than most to be working in such an esteemed company in Malaysia, and I ought to count my blessing more than anything else.
:)
The looniness started Friday when Ian decided that I was leading Vespers on Sunday! And that meant chanting quite a bit solo..And the thing about chanting is that, the voice and tones have to be clear, and there's a fine line between solemn and sombre! :p Anyways, needless to say, i was FREAKING OUT!
I went home Friday night dead tired, went to work on Saturday, met up with my second brother for lunch, sped home to Melaka, and spent the evening watching Playhouse Disney with my nephew. Had a birthday dinner for my oldest brother,, watched this fantastic British show called 'The stars are in their eyes,' then practically died from exhaustion.
Sunday morning, had a typical unhealthy Malaysian breakfast of Roti canai with the family, packed and headed right back to KL. Immediately picked Feli up for a formation session with the PAG team, after which I rushed over to SFX for Vespers practice right before Vespers!
Yes, I was a bundle of nerves!!
I got everything right, but for some reason could not get the final blessing right.
And so...I created a new tune dat evening!
Thank God, Ian n Ben has created such a positive spirit amongst us, that after my 'fiasco' Ben texted and affirmed me for a job well done although I did create a new tune! Hehehehe
Oh well...the weekend slipped by me again, and I really dread work. It is so difficult to take my job seriously. Worse I find my work making me nastier than nicer. It is just so difficult to refrain from being like the rest of them. It is so difficult to stand out in character and performance. the management does not make it any easier. I find myself smiling less and less at work. And when people ask if I am happy, I do not know what to say. I might be a little happy, but I do not see a future for me.
I wonder if lecturing might suit me better? It might, it might not.
What I know now is that I am luckier than most to be working in such an esteemed company in Malaysia, and I ought to count my blessing more than anything else.
:)
Wednesday 12 May 2010
One day at a time
It has been very trying at work. Sometimes you really wonder at people, wonder how nasty people can turn on each other. I always think of the statement that humans are the only animals that turn on each other, but I think recently there has been documentaries on apes murdering as well...Vaguely remember it.
Still, animals of less intelligence seem more human sometimes. I love dogs, and they always melt my heart. Dogs are so simple, honest and sincere. Even my crazy Einstein Copernicus Thomas (yes, my pets have full names) tried warding off the cobra for me. But that shall be another story for another day. Doggie Douglas Thomas used to bark weirdly when we sent him over to the neighbours for puppy-sitting when we went back to JB for Chinese New Year. He'd bark as if he was trying to speak like a human and he'd look you in the eye at that! He was dignified and gentlemanly. Once a car ran over his paw, and there was no one home but my then future-bro-in-law, who came to Malaysia for a two week stay to get to know the family. Danko tried to just carry Doggie and put him in the car as Doggie couldn't manage it on his own, but Doggie barked and threatened to bite cause he did not like anyone carrying him. Danko looked Doggie in the eye, and told him, 'Look here, you're injured and I need to get you in the car to get it checked.' And when he tried carried Doggie again, Doggie allowed it.
It almost seemed like he had pride or being independent and in control. Yet he reasoned and allowed it.
Okie, you might think I'm bonkers to even think my dogs had such intelligence and character, but any dog-lover would agree to it. Sometimes I think I love dogs more than humans!
And this makes it tough to be a good Catholic. We are called to love our enemies because all humans are made in God's image. And we are called to love because He first loved. Once, I read twice in different books on the same day that it takes no character to love lovable people, but it takes a lot to love the unlovable, and that is what we are to do. It might seem counter-productive to the logical man and I guess it would be if we did not attain the endless supply of Love from God. On our own effort alone, it would be unproductive and counter-productive, but nourished and sustained, it would be a great witness to Christ. And I guess, that is why I am looking forward to Accession this year. For once, it means something to me. For once I am eager for Pentecost!
But a humbling thought prevails..that we are mere humans...and as humans we fail..and I can only pray that this time round the conversion is for real and for good.
I miss my puppies at home...:( I'll be home this Saturday Einstein II and Rusty.
p/s: Havent given them their full name...Hmmmm
Still, animals of less intelligence seem more human sometimes. I love dogs, and they always melt my heart. Dogs are so simple, honest and sincere. Even my crazy Einstein Copernicus Thomas (yes, my pets have full names) tried warding off the cobra for me. But that shall be another story for another day. Doggie Douglas Thomas used to bark weirdly when we sent him over to the neighbours for puppy-sitting when we went back to JB for Chinese New Year. He'd bark as if he was trying to speak like a human and he'd look you in the eye at that! He was dignified and gentlemanly. Once a car ran over his paw, and there was no one home but my then future-bro-in-law, who came to Malaysia for a two week stay to get to know the family. Danko tried to just carry Doggie and put him in the car as Doggie couldn't manage it on his own, but Doggie barked and threatened to bite cause he did not like anyone carrying him. Danko looked Doggie in the eye, and told him, 'Look here, you're injured and I need to get you in the car to get it checked.' And when he tried carried Doggie again, Doggie allowed it.
It almost seemed like he had pride or being independent and in control. Yet he reasoned and allowed it.
Okie, you might think I'm bonkers to even think my dogs had such intelligence and character, but any dog-lover would agree to it. Sometimes I think I love dogs more than humans!
And this makes it tough to be a good Catholic. We are called to love our enemies because all humans are made in God's image. And we are called to love because He first loved. Once, I read twice in different books on the same day that it takes no character to love lovable people, but it takes a lot to love the unlovable, and that is what we are to do. It might seem counter-productive to the logical man and I guess it would be if we did not attain the endless supply of Love from God. On our own effort alone, it would be unproductive and counter-productive, but nourished and sustained, it would be a great witness to Christ. And I guess, that is why I am looking forward to Accession this year. For once, it means something to me. For once I am eager for Pentecost!
But a humbling thought prevails..that we are mere humans...and as humans we fail..and I can only pray that this time round the conversion is for real and for good.
I miss my puppies at home...:( I'll be home this Saturday Einstein II and Rusty.
p/s: Havent given them their full name...Hmmmm
Tuesday 11 May 2010
Patience
I lack it.
I have no idea how to be patient...in anything! Be it waiting for my food to arrive, or speaking a little louder and slower so my mom understands me over the phone, I just can't seem to be patient.
I can't seem to be patient with people who have the diarrhea of the mouth, where sometimes it is nice to have straightforward friends, but sometimes it is annoying when they like making snide remarks. It is fine once or twice, but once too often gets on my nerves. And then they are in turn clueless to what they have done, and their innocence is so great, that albeit being in a bad mood, you do not have the heart to tell them, 'I am annoyed with you!' SIGH.
It is tiring pleasing everyone. Sometimes it is tiring being nice. People walk all over you, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.
And I do not have the heart to burst at them, but I do not have the patience either! Half the time, I'm swallowing nasty remarks, so I would not offend anyone.
Why do some people just lack the people skill? I really do not get it..It frustrates me greatly. And my current lab is filled with them. Not only are they 0 EQ-ed, but in possession of really poor manners! Sigh.
What shall I do?
I have no idea how to be patient...in anything! Be it waiting for my food to arrive, or speaking a little louder and slower so my mom understands me over the phone, I just can't seem to be patient.
I can't seem to be patient with people who have the diarrhea of the mouth, where sometimes it is nice to have straightforward friends, but sometimes it is annoying when they like making snide remarks. It is fine once or twice, but once too often gets on my nerves. And then they are in turn clueless to what they have done, and their innocence is so great, that albeit being in a bad mood, you do not have the heart to tell them, 'I am annoyed with you!' SIGH.
It is tiring pleasing everyone. Sometimes it is tiring being nice. People walk all over you, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.
And I do not have the heart to burst at them, but I do not have the patience either! Half the time, I'm swallowing nasty remarks, so I would not offend anyone.
Why do some people just lack the people skill? I really do not get it..It frustrates me greatly. And my current lab is filled with them. Not only are they 0 EQ-ed, but in possession of really poor manners! Sigh.
What shall I do?
Monday 10 May 2010
Off the hook!!!!!!!!!
YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I started the weekend mentally preparing myself for my night call which was supposed to be tonight with that nasty man..and then Sunday morning, Jeya gives me the best news of my LIFE (ok ok...YES...I am exaggerating...pffff). She canceled her annual leave and took my call!
I started the weekend mentally preparing myself for my night call which was supposed to be tonight with that nasty man..and then Sunday morning, Jeya gives me the best news of my LIFE (ok ok...YES...I am exaggerating...pffff). She canceled her annual leave and took my call!
*choirs of angels*
ALLELUIA!!
ALLELUIA!!
Goodness! I was soooooooo relieved that I spent the whole day telling EVERYONE I met that I was happy...
Driving down to Port Dickson with Jon n Feli
Hey Jon!!
Yea?
I'm HAPPY!! *grins like an idiot*
And what does that have to do with me?
Hey Jon!!
Yea?
I'm HAPPY!! *grins like an idiot*
And what does that have to do with me?
Yuh, I KNOW!! What a party-pooper! Feli was appalled with Jon's response, but I was too happy, I could not care less...:D
The funny thing is that, the very fact Jon responded that way showed that we were really close friends of his. And hence, I was not bothered at all and went on blabbering about how happy I was as he was busy with his handphone! Lol. oh yea, I was driving..
Unfortunately, women are noted to be horrible drivers..and although I have always been known to be a good driver, I tend to get a little over-confident on the road...and I think all my friends vouch for that. The funny thing is they all say I am a darn good driver (I can only drive manual cars....am pretty clueless with auto...:S Weird huh?) and after they spent a whole journey screaming in my car! Lol
And yea, my car is named Muff the 2nd. (Stop that! I will explain..and no, I am no perve to name my car so crudely)
You see, my first car in uni, was this really cute Kancil, and she was registered as MAF 5096. My friends had cars and they were all named, and so I was told to name mine as well. My brother (although he is 42, he is really innocent in so many ways...tech whizz who keeps calling Seal 'Scarface' cuz he is perpetually confused with Babyface the singer and the Lion King's character..haha) said hey you what'd be cool? calling your car MAF but make it cooler by spelling it as MUFF.
Being as innocent or worse, I told Bryan , Chia Wei and Rubern about it, and we all agreed it was a good name!
Rubern then fatetully watched an episode of That 70's Show, and 'our eyes were opened'!!
We were rolling in laughter!I attempted changing her name, but Muff stuck.
And since this is my second car, she is named after the first Muff.
:)
random I know.
The funny thing is that, the very fact Jon responded that way showed that we were really close friends of his. And hence, I was not bothered at all and went on blabbering about how happy I was as he was busy with his handphone! Lol. oh yea, I was driving..
Unfortunately, women are noted to be horrible drivers..and although I have always been known to be a good driver, I tend to get a little over-confident on the road...and I think all my friends vouch for that. The funny thing is they all say I am a darn good driver (I can only drive manual cars....am pretty clueless with auto...:S Weird huh?) and after they spent a whole journey screaming in my car! Lol
And yea, my car is named Muff the 2nd. (Stop that! I will explain..and no, I am no perve to name my car so crudely)
You see, my first car in uni, was this really cute Kancil, and she was registered as MAF 5096. My friends had cars and they were all named, and so I was told to name mine as well. My brother (although he is 42, he is really innocent in so many ways...tech whizz who keeps calling Seal 'Scarface' cuz he is perpetually confused with Babyface the singer and the Lion King's character..haha) said hey you what'd be cool? calling your car MAF but make it cooler by spelling it as MUFF.
Being as innocent or worse, I told Bryan , Chia Wei and Rubern about it, and we all agreed it was a good name!
Rubern then fatetully watched an episode of That 70's Show, and 'our eyes were opened'!!
We were rolling in laughter!I attempted changing her name, but Muff stuck.
And since this is my second car, she is named after the first Muff.
:)
random I know.
Tuesday 4 May 2010
151
That's the number of posts I have! Pretty interesting for a person who never understood why people blogged...To be frank, I still am not too sure why..
Instead of going around thinking why people blog, let's see why I blog?
A) Fame
Ain't working too well...besides, I have much better ways of acclaiming fame...and besides, I would want to be famous, not infamous...but then again, anything to be known is it not? But, the bottom line is, I do not want fame, but I do want to know people. Having people know you could be quite a headache, right? Everywhere you go, you think you're safe, but they recognize you....Doesn't help that you look like a 'free-hair Malay' and you are 1.75cm tall! :S
B) Spread awareness
...of my life?? Nahhhhhh
C) Creativity
*crickets*
I think venting, and hoping someone reads it and see what's happening in my life seems to fit.
Aren't we just lonely people then? Needing someone to pay us some attention? People are such social creatures....then again, some aren't..and are pretty good at repelling people too...
My colleague for example, with whom I have had the honour of doing a night call with.
He is a married man of 40 plus, and he has been notorious for giving scandalous suggestions to female colleagues..
Now, am lucky because...I am the person he hates the most for buying him a mere bottle of wine for Christmas..
Hmmmmmmm....
*praying hard that someone takes my Monday night call from me*
*and still praying*
Instead of going around thinking why people blog, let's see why I blog?
A) Fame
Ain't working too well...besides, I have much better ways of acclaiming fame...and besides, I would want to be famous, not infamous...but then again, anything to be known is it not? But, the bottom line is, I do not want fame, but I do want to know people. Having people know you could be quite a headache, right? Everywhere you go, you think you're safe, but they recognize you....Doesn't help that you look like a 'free-hair Malay' and you are 1.75cm tall! :S
B) Spread awareness
...of my life?? Nahhhhhh
C) Creativity
*crickets*
I think venting, and hoping someone reads it and see what's happening in my life seems to fit.
Aren't we just lonely people then? Needing someone to pay us some attention? People are such social creatures....then again, some aren't..and are pretty good at repelling people too...
My colleague for example, with whom I have had the honour of doing a night call with.
He is a married man of 40 plus, and he has been notorious for giving scandalous suggestions to female colleagues..
Now, am lucky because...I am the person he hates the most for buying him a mere bottle of wine for Christmas..
Hmmmmmmm....
*praying hard that someone takes my Monday night call from me*
*and still praying*
Sunday 2 May 2010
Sunday morning! :D
Yesterday it was the first Persons Are Gifts team meeting for this new batch.
We started off with Praise & Worship, and then it was Ice-breakers & Group-dynamics!! First off, Poison Ball..
Each person is given a ball (fist sized..made of squashed newspaper..), and the aim is to hit as many people (waist downwards). When you get hit, you would have to sit, until the person who hits you gets hit, and then you're unfrozen and back in the game! It was hilarious! We then had the older ones (facilitators & trainers) against the outreach team. WE WON!! Boo yah! :P
Next was Toxic River (funny how most of the games we played had something to do with poison huh?)
A 'river' was created (two lines) with a breadth of 5 feet. The aim is to get everyone across. The catch is, the only way to cross this toxic river is to use the magical cap..(It was supposed to be this pair of boots, but we couldn't find one, so we went on with an AXN CSI cap. Lol) The twist is, you may walk in the river with the cap ONLY ONCE. And you cannot pass the cap over to you other teammates by throwing it over the river (all part of the magic. :P) It was hilarious. This small fellow was utterly terrified when he realized he had to carry someone over! The look of terror on his face....priceless...Lol.
The last was a rather nameless activity (must Feli what the name was) whereby the group make a circle, with their backs facing the inner circle. And it is filled with balloons. The aim is to walk from one point to another without letting any of the balloons fall bellow the level of their backs.. Poor kids were direction less.. One shouted go left, and the kids directly behind them went right (their left). Cute..
The most important fact was that the team really got to break the ice, and learn some real values in teamwork. In the discussion of the toxic river, some refused to participate in the discussion, but when they realized they might just be left behind and not solve the problem, they started getting right into it. There was a natural leader, and of course they were people who could not trust the partner to carry them across. Some gave up really fast, some persisted (even till aafter the game ended). It was very educational even to me.
I felt so much joy seeing this kids being empowered. I felt even more joy when the PAG team created such a safe, positive zone for them. Still, negativity seeped in on in a while, but it was quickly nipped in the butt by the other peers.
I was just thinking of all the people who played such an important role in my growth.
Starting with my father, who prayed so much for me as a child, even before I was born. He was my first catechism teacher, showering me with endless picture bibles and teaching me so much of the lives of the saints and most importantly of God's love. He made it clear, like doubtless, that God was a god of Mercy and Love. That has never been a question to me. And I thank God for such childlike trust in His Love & Mercy.
Then it was my brother and my sister, whose lives have been such a testimony to God's care. They lead such good Christian lives, and though they are challenged even today, their faith has been such an inspiration. God protects and rewards a hundredfold. When my father passed away, we did not have the money to pay for my siblings college fees...did not help that my brother studied in the US and my sister in Australia, and all we had was my father's EPF of RM10 000 only. So many people came forth and gave us the money just like that. Some were strangers, others knew my father who did a lot of charity when he was alive. Not asking for repayment. And when my brother got his job, he got bonuses just in time for all my sister's tuition fees. It was a testament that when you live your life serving God, he sees you through. My brother and sister spent their whole teenage life in youth ministry, in the service of so many troubled teenagers. They made some very unpopular and tough decisions, but they pulled through.
And the whole journey....meeting people who were instrumental in calling me back to youth ministry. Like Jon, who was moved to start serving again despite the pain. He actively found a venue for me & Feli to serve in. God given people sent like Crisabel who was given my number and directed me to Ben, who inspired me to pray the Divine Office. And these people were all inspired by someone else. And I have been so blessed to have not been forgotten in the whole great big network of God.
Yet, I have to remember, to whom much is given, much is required.
I cannot say I have found it. I am still searching.
In the meantime, I have to somehow walk the talk. Ridding myself of distractions. Even some which is painful to part with. Growing is never easy...growing pains..
I guess some beautiful mornings, like today's, is reward enough.
Have a great Sunday..:)
We started off with Praise & Worship, and then it was Ice-breakers & Group-dynamics!! First off, Poison Ball..
Each person is given a ball (fist sized..made of squashed newspaper..), and the aim is to hit as many people (waist downwards). When you get hit, you would have to sit, until the person who hits you gets hit, and then you're unfrozen and back in the game! It was hilarious! We then had the older ones (facilitators & trainers) against the outreach team. WE WON!! Boo yah! :P
Next was Toxic River (funny how most of the games we played had something to do with poison huh?)
A 'river' was created (two lines) with a breadth of 5 feet. The aim is to get everyone across. The catch is, the only way to cross this toxic river is to use the magical cap..(It was supposed to be this pair of boots, but we couldn't find one, so we went on with an AXN CSI cap. Lol) The twist is, you may walk in the river with the cap ONLY ONCE. And you cannot pass the cap over to you other teammates by throwing it over the river (all part of the magic. :P) It was hilarious. This small fellow was utterly terrified when he realized he had to carry someone over! The look of terror on his face....priceless...Lol.
The last was a rather nameless activity (must Feli what the name was) whereby the group make a circle, with their backs facing the inner circle. And it is filled with balloons. The aim is to walk from one point to another without letting any of the balloons fall bellow the level of their backs.. Poor kids were direction less.. One shouted go left, and the kids directly behind them went right (their left). Cute..
The most important fact was that the team really got to break the ice, and learn some real values in teamwork. In the discussion of the toxic river, some refused to participate in the discussion, but when they realized they might just be left behind and not solve the problem, they started getting right into it. There was a natural leader, and of course they were people who could not trust the partner to carry them across. Some gave up really fast, some persisted (even till aafter the game ended). It was very educational even to me.
I felt so much joy seeing this kids being empowered. I felt even more joy when the PAG team created such a safe, positive zone for them. Still, negativity seeped in on in a while, but it was quickly nipped in the butt by the other peers.
I was just thinking of all the people who played such an important role in my growth.
Starting with my father, who prayed so much for me as a child, even before I was born. He was my first catechism teacher, showering me with endless picture bibles and teaching me so much of the lives of the saints and most importantly of God's love. He made it clear, like doubtless, that God was a god of Mercy and Love. That has never been a question to me. And I thank God for such childlike trust in His Love & Mercy.
Then it was my brother and my sister, whose lives have been such a testimony to God's care. They lead such good Christian lives, and though they are challenged even today, their faith has been such an inspiration. God protects and rewards a hundredfold. When my father passed away, we did not have the money to pay for my siblings college fees...did not help that my brother studied in the US and my sister in Australia, and all we had was my father's EPF of RM10 000 only. So many people came forth and gave us the money just like that. Some were strangers, others knew my father who did a lot of charity when he was alive. Not asking for repayment. And when my brother got his job, he got bonuses just in time for all my sister's tuition fees. It was a testament that when you live your life serving God, he sees you through. My brother and sister spent their whole teenage life in youth ministry, in the service of so many troubled teenagers. They made some very unpopular and tough decisions, but they pulled through.
And the whole journey....meeting people who were instrumental in calling me back to youth ministry. Like Jon, who was moved to start serving again despite the pain. He actively found a venue for me & Feli to serve in. God given people sent like Crisabel who was given my number and directed me to Ben, who inspired me to pray the Divine Office. And these people were all inspired by someone else. And I have been so blessed to have not been forgotten in the whole great big network of God.
Yet, I have to remember, to whom much is given, much is required.
I cannot say I have found it. I am still searching.
In the meantime, I have to somehow walk the talk. Ridding myself of distractions. Even some which is painful to part with. Growing is never easy...growing pains..
I guess some beautiful mornings, like today's, is reward enough.
Have a great Sunday..:)
Friday 30 April 2010
wow
It's been 2 and a half hours already...and I have only taken blood from two patients, and ran two urine tests...the calm of a good long weekend I guess.
Was using the time I had to brainstorm (alone) on team building games for this bunch of 13-16 year olds I am gonna work with..There were some really hilarious ones, like in this book called Play It! by Wayne Rice & Mike Yaconelli, there is this game called Ha-ha, where the kids are told to lie on each other's belly in a line (one extending to the right and the other to the left) and the first kid say 'Ha' and the second says 'Ha-Ha' and the 3rd says 'Ha-Ha-Ha' and it goes on till someone is bound to make a blunder!
Tee-hee..it tickled me..:)
It is always nice to let loose and let the kid in you out! It s necessary to be child-like, not childish..
Kids grow up so fast these days..my colleagues now contact their 6/7 year olds via their handphone! Another colleague asked me if she should get her 12 year old an i-Pod or an i-Phone! :S
Being tech-savvy is cool, but the exposure scares me..Innocence is lost so fast..and even before they know the meaning of innocence..:( I think of my nephews and niece and I wonder if they would have solid role models to look up to besides their parents. Would they feel alone in a world where the values imparted to them would be so different to those practiced outside? Would they succumb to it?
I wonder at the naivety of some couples who just love babies..babies grow up into adults..and parents shape them! It is all well and good to have children, but I sometimes am terrified of the world I am bringing my child to. It is scary.
And as a parent I would be responsible for equipping this person to face this world alone someday...
Then again, I fear and fret too much..and don't get me wrong..I want a big family! (though I doubt I would be able to affort it...Lol)And I love kids too...:P just not ready for a relationship anytime soon. :P
( The ER is filled with so many babies tonight...cute-ness)
Was using the time I had to brainstorm (alone) on team building games for this bunch of 13-16 year olds I am gonna work with..There were some really hilarious ones, like in this book called Play It! by Wayne Rice & Mike Yaconelli, there is this game called Ha-ha, where the kids are told to lie on each other's belly in a line (one extending to the right and the other to the left) and the first kid say 'Ha' and the second says 'Ha-Ha' and the 3rd says 'Ha-Ha-Ha' and it goes on till someone is bound to make a blunder!
Tee-hee..it tickled me..:)
It is always nice to let loose and let the kid in you out! It s necessary to be child-like, not childish..
Kids grow up so fast these days..my colleagues now contact their 6/7 year olds via their handphone! Another colleague asked me if she should get her 12 year old an i-Pod or an i-Phone! :S
Being tech-savvy is cool, but the exposure scares me..Innocence is lost so fast..and even before they know the meaning of innocence..:( I think of my nephews and niece and I wonder if they would have solid role models to look up to besides their parents. Would they feel alone in a world where the values imparted to them would be so different to those practiced outside? Would they succumb to it?
I wonder at the naivety of some couples who just love babies..babies grow up into adults..and parents shape them! It is all well and good to have children, but I sometimes am terrified of the world I am bringing my child to. It is scary.
And as a parent I would be responsible for equipping this person to face this world alone someday...
Then again, I fear and fret too much..and don't get me wrong..I want a big family! (though I doubt I would be able to affort it...Lol)And I love kids too...:P just not ready for a relationship anytime soon. :P
( The ER is filled with so many babies tonight...cute-ness)
Tuesday 27 April 2010
selfish people
I had a bad day at work yesterday.
First of all, I have been bullied to come in at 8.30 for two weeks to help the phlebotomist draw blood from the patients as the patient volume in the mornings are kinda psycho (perk is I get to go back by 5.30!! woohooo!!! :P)!
So I began my day pretty calmly and happily..drew blood from this REALLY hot indian (married...dang) guy..who realized I was mixed blood....wooohooo... :D
Then at 9 I went back to the serology bench, when my assistant manager said, Pearl, could you please help the blood bank. And I said okie. So I went there, did the back-breaking job of typing close to 80 bloody samples (not to mention the donors, etc) and by 4pm I checked on serology (as I had to leave a rather new colleague of mine to hold the fort). By that time as well, the blood bankers (as we call them) were back from their stem cell harvest, plasmapheresis & ER call respectively. Thinking that they could handle the second round of re-typing those bloody 80-ish samples, I asked the blood bank senior if it were ok for me to return to my bench and help my struggling colleague (who looked really tired). And he did not wan to let me go. I was pissed off.
People would do whatever it takes to keep their own jobs well done at my place, and they do not give a shit about the rest pf the benches, assuming that they have enough people, etc. Its the same shit everyday. Everyday someone makes a snide remark over another's workload, thinking they are carrying the wwight of the world!
Why can't people put themselves in another's shoes? hw can one sleep at night thinking 'oh goodie, today i got my work done!! *oblivious to the stuggles of my teammates*
I am sick of the individualism of society! Everything is about me, I & me! When are we gonna realize that it is when you serve one another is when you find joy? See, the dynamics is simple really..
It is about not wanting to keep the cake and eat it too.
When you give in to someone, you know, stretch yourself a little to help a friend, that person would gladly do the same for you, and you in turn feel love.
I know it is bloody idealistic, but hey, it works, it happens.
The problem is when even within households, mothers are fathers are calculative about everything, even to who does the dishes tonight and who does it tomorrow.
When you say things like, my money is mine, and my husband's money is mine too, what kind of values are you imparting to your young? When you can't even respect your wife, do you think your sons will go be gentlemen in the outside world?
The family unit is deteriorating.
People are deteriorating.
I could just give up on people because everyone is mean, nasty, calculative, manipulative & greedy.
Natural law does not exist anymore.
Bleak is it not?
What does this one person do against the world?
Nothing, but hold her fort, and hope & pray that reinforcements exists..
First of all, I have been bullied to come in at 8.30 for two weeks to help the phlebotomist draw blood from the patients as the patient volume in the mornings are kinda psycho (perk is I get to go back by 5.30!! woohooo!!! :P)!
So I began my day pretty calmly and happily..drew blood from this REALLY hot indian (married...dang) guy..who realized I was mixed blood....wooohooo... :D
Then at 9 I went back to the serology bench, when my assistant manager said, Pearl, could you please help the blood bank. And I said okie. So I went there, did the back-breaking job of typing close to 80 bloody samples (not to mention the donors, etc) and by 4pm I checked on serology (as I had to leave a rather new colleague of mine to hold the fort). By that time as well, the blood bankers (as we call them) were back from their stem cell harvest, plasmapheresis & ER call respectively. Thinking that they could handle the second round of re-typing those bloody 80-ish samples, I asked the blood bank senior if it were ok for me to return to my bench and help my struggling colleague (who looked really tired). And he did not wan to let me go. I was pissed off.
People would do whatever it takes to keep their own jobs well done at my place, and they do not give a shit about the rest pf the benches, assuming that they have enough people, etc. Its the same shit everyday. Everyday someone makes a snide remark over another's workload, thinking they are carrying the wwight of the world!
Why can't people put themselves in another's shoes? hw can one sleep at night thinking 'oh goodie, today i got my work done!! *oblivious to the stuggles of my teammates*
I am sick of the individualism of society! Everything is about me, I & me! When are we gonna realize that it is when you serve one another is when you find joy? See, the dynamics is simple really..
It is about not wanting to keep the cake and eat it too.
When you give in to someone, you know, stretch yourself a little to help a friend, that person would gladly do the same for you, and you in turn feel love.
I know it is bloody idealistic, but hey, it works, it happens.
The problem is when even within households, mothers are fathers are calculative about everything, even to who does the dishes tonight and who does it tomorrow.
When you say things like, my money is mine, and my husband's money is mine too, what kind of values are you imparting to your young? When you can't even respect your wife, do you think your sons will go be gentlemen in the outside world?
The family unit is deteriorating.
People are deteriorating.
I could just give up on people because everyone is mean, nasty, calculative, manipulative & greedy.
Natural law does not exist anymore.
Bleak is it not?
What does this one person do against the world?
Nothing, but hold her fort, and hope & pray that reinforcements exists..
Sunday 18 April 2010
Happiness? Happiness!
The past few months have been much distressing to my poor nerves, pun intended..:P And yes,, you have to be an ardent lover of Pride & Prejudice to get that bit.
Well, did not help that I was making it hard for myself, allowing myself to start a relationship with a Muslim guy (nothing against my Muslim brothers & sisters, just that I need to be with a Catholic man, because my faith is an integral part of my life), getting angry with injustices at work, getting angry with men who have hurt so many women I know and love..I let it all get to me..
Until last week.
I just could not hold it in anymore..I broke down in tears (again, I know)..but I was fed up. I was fed up of hope. I gave up on love. It was empty inside..my birthday? Disaster...I woke up, 25, feeling HORRIBLE.
Then began a trail of thoughts.
You know, I have an awesome family. We might not have much money, but that has never been a measure of happiness in our lives. We have struggled with money throughout our lives, yet we have been all over the world already! We grew up with awesome parents, gaining the best of the chinese and indian worlds..in a country with awesome food! My family might be small, but we have so much of love and respect for one another..many dun have good upbringing, family to be proud of, some were never loved.
I have a million frens (Ok, I might have stretched dat bit, but it does feel dat way..) and most of them truly care for me..I have fantastic girlfriends...the best..I have so many good guy friends I can trust, and are like brothers to me..and the network of friends is continuously expanding! Good people, really good people..So many are cheated, abused, and alone. And sometimes when I feel alone, in the sense I get upset about not having a partner, how many can truly say they have loved before. I have. things between me and my ex, only the two of us would understand. But I can tell you this, and he would agree any day, that we truly loved each other. It did hurt the both of us, the breakup, but I must say, the time we were together were really good memories. For we were best friends, and nothing beats loving your best friend. For a long time I have been focusing on how much I've lost, but I have never thought about the people who have never loved or been loved! At least I know I am lovable. I know there is something in me that someone loved and still loves, for till today, we care deeply for each other. And every pain I go through, I know he feels it. And I believe him. And if I focus on what I have experienced in my life, I am thankful enough.
I guess, I am luckier then most because there have been planted much love, and even if life turns out exactly how I did not want it to be, my faith promises me that I will be cared for.
Today I am happy. I might breakdown tomorrow, but I know that somehow, someone will reach out to me. My best friend, my sister, my ex, some close friends of mine..I know I am not too alone.
Latest update: After some thought (one year of it), I have finally decided on which choir to join...have joined the Vespers group in SFX..and I am at peace with where I am right now. It feels right. People around me has affirmed my decision and so I am taking the baby steps towards, perhaps, where I am called to at church. Might have just found a new belonging....maybe...I will always have my doubts..blame it on my surname..(lol..poor St Thomas..:P)..but I am open to changes..
We shall seeeeeeeeee
Well, did not help that I was making it hard for myself, allowing myself to start a relationship with a Muslim guy (nothing against my Muslim brothers & sisters, just that I need to be with a Catholic man, because my faith is an integral part of my life), getting angry with injustices at work, getting angry with men who have hurt so many women I know and love..I let it all get to me..
Until last week.
I just could not hold it in anymore..I broke down in tears (again, I know)..but I was fed up. I was fed up of hope. I gave up on love. It was empty inside..my birthday? Disaster...I woke up, 25, feeling HORRIBLE.
Then began a trail of thoughts.
You know, I have an awesome family. We might not have much money, but that has never been a measure of happiness in our lives. We have struggled with money throughout our lives, yet we have been all over the world already! We grew up with awesome parents, gaining the best of the chinese and indian worlds..in a country with awesome food! My family might be small, but we have so much of love and respect for one another..many dun have good upbringing, family to be proud of, some were never loved.
I have a million frens (Ok, I might have stretched dat bit, but it does feel dat way..) and most of them truly care for me..I have fantastic girlfriends...the best..I have so many good guy friends I can trust, and are like brothers to me..and the network of friends is continuously expanding! Good people, really good people..So many are cheated, abused, and alone. And sometimes when I feel alone, in the sense I get upset about not having a partner, how many can truly say they have loved before. I have. things between me and my ex, only the two of us would understand. But I can tell you this, and he would agree any day, that we truly loved each other. It did hurt the both of us, the breakup, but I must say, the time we were together were really good memories. For we were best friends, and nothing beats loving your best friend. For a long time I have been focusing on how much I've lost, but I have never thought about the people who have never loved or been loved! At least I know I am lovable. I know there is something in me that someone loved and still loves, for till today, we care deeply for each other. And every pain I go through, I know he feels it. And I believe him. And if I focus on what I have experienced in my life, I am thankful enough.
I guess, I am luckier then most because there have been planted much love, and even if life turns out exactly how I did not want it to be, my faith promises me that I will be cared for.
Today I am happy. I might breakdown tomorrow, but I know that somehow, someone will reach out to me. My best friend, my sister, my ex, some close friends of mine..I know I am not too alone.
Latest update: After some thought (one year of it), I have finally decided on which choir to join...have joined the Vespers group in SFX..and I am at peace with where I am right now. It feels right. People around me has affirmed my decision and so I am taking the baby steps towards, perhaps, where I am called to at church. Might have just found a new belonging....maybe...I will always have my doubts..blame it on my surname..(lol..poor St Thomas..:P)..but I am open to changes..
We shall seeeeeeeeee
Thursday 11 March 2010
blame it on women...as always..
Today I was reading the papers...the star..an article on more getting married later or not at all..Uniersity Malaya's Associate Professor Dr Tey Nai Peng was said to have said that 'the younger generation was getting more self-centred, with modern women having high expectations and becoming choosy when it came to finding mates.'
When I read that, I took it very personally.
Excuse me. Women are doing better in their career, taking more responsibility and being accountable. And you call us self-centred and choosy? I have the right to make careful decisions for my future spouse. If the male counterpart cannot show that much of commitment, responsibility and stability, why do I get blamed for being choosy? Am I expected to settle for any Tom, Dick of Harry that comes along? And what? Be bullied in a relationship as female emotions are battered? Am I to settle for a bum just because he is the only male interested? I would rather be single than marry for convenience. I would rather experience true love than exist day to day hoping that my husband would show some care today. I am not going to be a slave to men. Why do we women torture ourselves to look 'hot?' Because our male counterparts are visual creatures. So why cant the men start 'torturing themselves' to be more sensitive to women?
Come again? Gender equality? Women don't want to be treated like the weaker sex? Extreme feminism has pushed women to the other extreme. Being emotional beings do not make us the weaker sex...And this is a perception drawn from a male dominant time..
I am just annoyed. Gender equality has been bent and manipulated.
Im gonna want what want. I want chivalry and respect. I want stability and spontaneity. I want simplicity and class. And I'm not backing down.
On a different note, it was disturbing to know that I am in the 33% of women between 25-29 who are not married in malaysia...Joy..
When I read that, I took it very personally.
Excuse me. Women are doing better in their career, taking more responsibility and being accountable. And you call us self-centred and choosy? I have the right to make careful decisions for my future spouse. If the male counterpart cannot show that much of commitment, responsibility and stability, why do I get blamed for being choosy? Am I expected to settle for any Tom, Dick of Harry that comes along? And what? Be bullied in a relationship as female emotions are battered? Am I to settle for a bum just because he is the only male interested? I would rather be single than marry for convenience. I would rather experience true love than exist day to day hoping that my husband would show some care today. I am not going to be a slave to men. Why do we women torture ourselves to look 'hot?' Because our male counterparts are visual creatures. So why cant the men start 'torturing themselves' to be more sensitive to women?
Come again? Gender equality? Women don't want to be treated like the weaker sex? Extreme feminism has pushed women to the other extreme. Being emotional beings do not make us the weaker sex...And this is a perception drawn from a male dominant time..
I am just annoyed. Gender equality has been bent and manipulated.
Im gonna want what want. I want chivalry and respect. I want stability and spontaneity. I want simplicity and class. And I'm not backing down.
On a different note, it was disturbing to know that I am in the 33% of women between 25-29 who are not married in malaysia...Joy..
Friday 5 March 2010
disturbed
One too many startling discoveries, discoveries I kinda guessed...missing pieces placed...I saw the bigger picture...
My Uni life was almost a complete lie..
Not a bad one, but one which is to change the whole chapter in uni for good!
I thought life was pretty sucky s it is....I guess, my dear dear frens are going thru worse...*hugs*
My Uni life was almost a complete lie..
Not a bad one, but one which is to change the whole chapter in uni for good!
I thought life was pretty sucky s it is....I guess, my dear dear frens are going thru worse...*hugs*
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