It's been 2 and a half hours already...and I have only taken blood from two patients, and ran two urine tests...the calm of a good long weekend I guess.
Was using the time I had to brainstorm (alone) on team building games for this bunch of 13-16 year olds I am gonna work with..There were some really hilarious ones, like in this book called Play It! by Wayne Rice & Mike Yaconelli, there is this game called Ha-ha, where the kids are told to lie on each other's belly in a line (one extending to the right and the other to the left) and the first kid say 'Ha' and the second says 'Ha-Ha' and the 3rd says 'Ha-Ha-Ha' and it goes on till someone is bound to make a blunder!
Tee-hee..it tickled me..:)
It is always nice to let loose and let the kid in you out! It s necessary to be child-like, not childish..
Kids grow up so fast these days..my colleagues now contact their 6/7 year olds via their handphone! Another colleague asked me if she should get her 12 year old an i-Pod or an i-Phone! :S
Being tech-savvy is cool, but the exposure scares me..Innocence is lost so fast..and even before they know the meaning of innocence..:( I think of my nephews and niece and I wonder if they would have solid role models to look up to besides their parents. Would they feel alone in a world where the values imparted to them would be so different to those practiced outside? Would they succumb to it?
I wonder at the naivety of some couples who just love babies..babies grow up into adults..and parents shape them! It is all well and good to have children, but I sometimes am terrified of the world I am bringing my child to. It is scary.
And as a parent I would be responsible for equipping this person to face this world alone someday...
Then again, I fear and fret too much..and don't get me wrong..I want a big family! (though I doubt I would be able to affort it...Lol)And I love kids too...:P just not ready for a relationship anytime soon. :P
( The ER is filled with so many babies tonight...cute-ness)
Friday, 30 April 2010
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
selfish people
I had a bad day at work yesterday.
First of all, I have been bullied to come in at 8.30 for two weeks to help the phlebotomist draw blood from the patients as the patient volume in the mornings are kinda psycho (perk is I get to go back by 5.30!! woohooo!!! :P)!
So I began my day pretty calmly and happily..drew blood from this REALLY hot indian (married...dang) guy..who realized I was mixed blood....wooohooo... :D
Then at 9 I went back to the serology bench, when my assistant manager said, Pearl, could you please help the blood bank. And I said okie. So I went there, did the back-breaking job of typing close to 80 bloody samples (not to mention the donors, etc) and by 4pm I checked on serology (as I had to leave a rather new colleague of mine to hold the fort). By that time as well, the blood bankers (as we call them) were back from their stem cell harvest, plasmapheresis & ER call respectively. Thinking that they could handle the second round of re-typing those bloody 80-ish samples, I asked the blood bank senior if it were ok for me to return to my bench and help my struggling colleague (who looked really tired). And he did not wan to let me go. I was pissed off.
People would do whatever it takes to keep their own jobs well done at my place, and they do not give a shit about the rest pf the benches, assuming that they have enough people, etc. Its the same shit everyday. Everyday someone makes a snide remark over another's workload, thinking they are carrying the wwight of the world!
Why can't people put themselves in another's shoes? hw can one sleep at night thinking 'oh goodie, today i got my work done!! *oblivious to the stuggles of my teammates*
I am sick of the individualism of society! Everything is about me, I & me! When are we gonna realize that it is when you serve one another is when you find joy? See, the dynamics is simple really..
It is about not wanting to keep the cake and eat it too.
When you give in to someone, you know, stretch yourself a little to help a friend, that person would gladly do the same for you, and you in turn feel love.
I know it is bloody idealistic, but hey, it works, it happens.
The problem is when even within households, mothers are fathers are calculative about everything, even to who does the dishes tonight and who does it tomorrow.
When you say things like, my money is mine, and my husband's money is mine too, what kind of values are you imparting to your young? When you can't even respect your wife, do you think your sons will go be gentlemen in the outside world?
The family unit is deteriorating.
People are deteriorating.
I could just give up on people because everyone is mean, nasty, calculative, manipulative & greedy.
Natural law does not exist anymore.
Bleak is it not?
What does this one person do against the world?
Nothing, but hold her fort, and hope & pray that reinforcements exists..
First of all, I have been bullied to come in at 8.30 for two weeks to help the phlebotomist draw blood from the patients as the patient volume in the mornings are kinda psycho (perk is I get to go back by 5.30!! woohooo!!! :P)!
So I began my day pretty calmly and happily..drew blood from this REALLY hot indian (married...dang) guy..who realized I was mixed blood....wooohooo... :D
Then at 9 I went back to the serology bench, when my assistant manager said, Pearl, could you please help the blood bank. And I said okie. So I went there, did the back-breaking job of typing close to 80 bloody samples (not to mention the donors, etc) and by 4pm I checked on serology (as I had to leave a rather new colleague of mine to hold the fort). By that time as well, the blood bankers (as we call them) were back from their stem cell harvest, plasmapheresis & ER call respectively. Thinking that they could handle the second round of re-typing those bloody 80-ish samples, I asked the blood bank senior if it were ok for me to return to my bench and help my struggling colleague (who looked really tired). And he did not wan to let me go. I was pissed off.
People would do whatever it takes to keep their own jobs well done at my place, and they do not give a shit about the rest pf the benches, assuming that they have enough people, etc. Its the same shit everyday. Everyday someone makes a snide remark over another's workload, thinking they are carrying the wwight of the world!
Why can't people put themselves in another's shoes? hw can one sleep at night thinking 'oh goodie, today i got my work done!! *oblivious to the stuggles of my teammates*
I am sick of the individualism of society! Everything is about me, I & me! When are we gonna realize that it is when you serve one another is when you find joy? See, the dynamics is simple really..
It is about not wanting to keep the cake and eat it too.
When you give in to someone, you know, stretch yourself a little to help a friend, that person would gladly do the same for you, and you in turn feel love.
I know it is bloody idealistic, but hey, it works, it happens.
The problem is when even within households, mothers are fathers are calculative about everything, even to who does the dishes tonight and who does it tomorrow.
When you say things like, my money is mine, and my husband's money is mine too, what kind of values are you imparting to your young? When you can't even respect your wife, do you think your sons will go be gentlemen in the outside world?
The family unit is deteriorating.
People are deteriorating.
I could just give up on people because everyone is mean, nasty, calculative, manipulative & greedy.
Natural law does not exist anymore.
Bleak is it not?
What does this one person do against the world?
Nothing, but hold her fort, and hope & pray that reinforcements exists..
Sunday, 18 April 2010
Happiness? Happiness!
The past few months have been much distressing to my poor nerves, pun intended..:P And yes,, you have to be an ardent lover of Pride & Prejudice to get that bit.
Well, did not help that I was making it hard for myself, allowing myself to start a relationship with a Muslim guy (nothing against my Muslim brothers & sisters, just that I need to be with a Catholic man, because my faith is an integral part of my life), getting angry with injustices at work, getting angry with men who have hurt so many women I know and love..I let it all get to me..
Until last week.
I just could not hold it in anymore..I broke down in tears (again, I know)..but I was fed up. I was fed up of hope. I gave up on love. It was empty inside..my birthday? Disaster...I woke up, 25, feeling HORRIBLE.
Then began a trail of thoughts.
You know, I have an awesome family. We might not have much money, but that has never been a measure of happiness in our lives. We have struggled with money throughout our lives, yet we have been all over the world already! We grew up with awesome parents, gaining the best of the chinese and indian worlds..in a country with awesome food! My family might be small, but we have so much of love and respect for one another..many dun have good upbringing, family to be proud of, some were never loved.
I have a million frens (Ok, I might have stretched dat bit, but it does feel dat way..) and most of them truly care for me..I have fantastic girlfriends...the best..I have so many good guy friends I can trust, and are like brothers to me..and the network of friends is continuously expanding! Good people, really good people..So many are cheated, abused, and alone. And sometimes when I feel alone, in the sense I get upset about not having a partner, how many can truly say they have loved before. I have. things between me and my ex, only the two of us would understand. But I can tell you this, and he would agree any day, that we truly loved each other. It did hurt the both of us, the breakup, but I must say, the time we were together were really good memories. For we were best friends, and nothing beats loving your best friend. For a long time I have been focusing on how much I've lost, but I have never thought about the people who have never loved or been loved! At least I know I am lovable. I know there is something in me that someone loved and still loves, for till today, we care deeply for each other. And every pain I go through, I know he feels it. And I believe him. And if I focus on what I have experienced in my life, I am thankful enough.
I guess, I am luckier then most because there have been planted much love, and even if life turns out exactly how I did not want it to be, my faith promises me that I will be cared for.
Today I am happy. I might breakdown tomorrow, but I know that somehow, someone will reach out to me. My best friend, my sister, my ex, some close friends of mine..I know I am not too alone.
Latest update: After some thought (one year of it), I have finally decided on which choir to join...have joined the Vespers group in SFX..and I am at peace with where I am right now. It feels right. People around me has affirmed my decision and so I am taking the baby steps towards, perhaps, where I am called to at church. Might have just found a new belonging....maybe...I will always have my doubts..blame it on my surname..(lol..poor St Thomas..:P)..but I am open to changes..
We shall seeeeeeeeee
Well, did not help that I was making it hard for myself, allowing myself to start a relationship with a Muslim guy (nothing against my Muslim brothers & sisters, just that I need to be with a Catholic man, because my faith is an integral part of my life), getting angry with injustices at work, getting angry with men who have hurt so many women I know and love..I let it all get to me..
Until last week.
I just could not hold it in anymore..I broke down in tears (again, I know)..but I was fed up. I was fed up of hope. I gave up on love. It was empty inside..my birthday? Disaster...I woke up, 25, feeling HORRIBLE.
Then began a trail of thoughts.
You know, I have an awesome family. We might not have much money, but that has never been a measure of happiness in our lives. We have struggled with money throughout our lives, yet we have been all over the world already! We grew up with awesome parents, gaining the best of the chinese and indian worlds..in a country with awesome food! My family might be small, but we have so much of love and respect for one another..many dun have good upbringing, family to be proud of, some were never loved.
I have a million frens (Ok, I might have stretched dat bit, but it does feel dat way..) and most of them truly care for me..I have fantastic girlfriends...the best..I have so many good guy friends I can trust, and are like brothers to me..and the network of friends is continuously expanding! Good people, really good people..So many are cheated, abused, and alone. And sometimes when I feel alone, in the sense I get upset about not having a partner, how many can truly say they have loved before. I have. things between me and my ex, only the two of us would understand. But I can tell you this, and he would agree any day, that we truly loved each other. It did hurt the both of us, the breakup, but I must say, the time we were together were really good memories. For we were best friends, and nothing beats loving your best friend. For a long time I have been focusing on how much I've lost, but I have never thought about the people who have never loved or been loved! At least I know I am lovable. I know there is something in me that someone loved and still loves, for till today, we care deeply for each other. And every pain I go through, I know he feels it. And I believe him. And if I focus on what I have experienced in my life, I am thankful enough.
I guess, I am luckier then most because there have been planted much love, and even if life turns out exactly how I did not want it to be, my faith promises me that I will be cared for.
Today I am happy. I might breakdown tomorrow, but I know that somehow, someone will reach out to me. My best friend, my sister, my ex, some close friends of mine..I know I am not too alone.
Latest update: After some thought (one year of it), I have finally decided on which choir to join...have joined the Vespers group in SFX..and I am at peace with where I am right now. It feels right. People around me has affirmed my decision and so I am taking the baby steps towards, perhaps, where I am called to at church. Might have just found a new belonging....maybe...I will always have my doubts..blame it on my surname..(lol..poor St Thomas..:P)..but I am open to changes..
We shall seeeeeeeeee
Thursday, 11 March 2010
blame it on women...as always..
Today I was reading the papers...the star..an article on more getting married later or not at all..Uniersity Malaya's Associate Professor Dr Tey Nai Peng was said to have said that 'the younger generation was getting more self-centred, with modern women having high expectations and becoming choosy when it came to finding mates.'
When I read that, I took it very personally.
Excuse me. Women are doing better in their career, taking more responsibility and being accountable. And you call us self-centred and choosy? I have the right to make careful decisions for my future spouse. If the male counterpart cannot show that much of commitment, responsibility and stability, why do I get blamed for being choosy? Am I expected to settle for any Tom, Dick of Harry that comes along? And what? Be bullied in a relationship as female emotions are battered? Am I to settle for a bum just because he is the only male interested? I would rather be single than marry for convenience. I would rather experience true love than exist day to day hoping that my husband would show some care today. I am not going to be a slave to men. Why do we women torture ourselves to look 'hot?' Because our male counterparts are visual creatures. So why cant the men start 'torturing themselves' to be more sensitive to women?
Come again? Gender equality? Women don't want to be treated like the weaker sex? Extreme feminism has pushed women to the other extreme. Being emotional beings do not make us the weaker sex...And this is a perception drawn from a male dominant time..
I am just annoyed. Gender equality has been bent and manipulated.
Im gonna want what want. I want chivalry and respect. I want stability and spontaneity. I want simplicity and class. And I'm not backing down.
On a different note, it was disturbing to know that I am in the 33% of women between 25-29 who are not married in malaysia...Joy..
When I read that, I took it very personally.
Excuse me. Women are doing better in their career, taking more responsibility and being accountable. And you call us self-centred and choosy? I have the right to make careful decisions for my future spouse. If the male counterpart cannot show that much of commitment, responsibility and stability, why do I get blamed for being choosy? Am I expected to settle for any Tom, Dick of Harry that comes along? And what? Be bullied in a relationship as female emotions are battered? Am I to settle for a bum just because he is the only male interested? I would rather be single than marry for convenience. I would rather experience true love than exist day to day hoping that my husband would show some care today. I am not going to be a slave to men. Why do we women torture ourselves to look 'hot?' Because our male counterparts are visual creatures. So why cant the men start 'torturing themselves' to be more sensitive to women?
Come again? Gender equality? Women don't want to be treated like the weaker sex? Extreme feminism has pushed women to the other extreme. Being emotional beings do not make us the weaker sex...And this is a perception drawn from a male dominant time..
I am just annoyed. Gender equality has been bent and manipulated.
Im gonna want what want. I want chivalry and respect. I want stability and spontaneity. I want simplicity and class. And I'm not backing down.
On a different note, it was disturbing to know that I am in the 33% of women between 25-29 who are not married in malaysia...Joy..
Friday, 5 March 2010
disturbed
One too many startling discoveries, discoveries I kinda guessed...missing pieces placed...I saw the bigger picture...
My Uni life was almost a complete lie..
Not a bad one, but one which is to change the whole chapter in uni for good!
I thought life was pretty sucky s it is....I guess, my dear dear frens are going thru worse...*hugs*
My Uni life was almost a complete lie..
Not a bad one, but one which is to change the whole chapter in uni for good!
I thought life was pretty sucky s it is....I guess, my dear dear frens are going thru worse...*hugs*
Monday, 21 December 2009
the truth
The truth is, it still hurts.
The pain is not always remembered, but when brushed to close to the past, it still hurts.
I was true and sincere, and I committed.
I can only pray for healing.
The pain is not always remembered, but when brushed to close to the past, it still hurts.
I was true and sincere, and I committed.
I can only pray for healing.
Friday, 4 December 2009
I wonder..
A few days ago, the microscope light bulb in the satellite lab in the ER where I am based, blew.
i informed the necessary people that I now could not analyze the urine samples, including the nurses. Then after help came, and the microscope was fixed, I quickly told the nurses as I was heading off to shoot some s to the main lab, that the microscope was 'up & running'.
They were quiet.
i informed the necessary people that I now could not analyze the urine samples, including the nurses. Then after help came, and the microscope was fixed, I quickly told the nurses as I was heading off to shoot some s to the main lab, that the microscope was 'up & running'.
They were quiet.
Err, wht is 'up and running'?
*smacks head*
Err, microscope OK liao. *smiley face*
Oh.....
*smacks head*
Err, microscope OK liao. *smiley face*
Oh.....
So I went about my day thinking, hmm, maybe she just never heard it before..
Yesterday, the blood analysis machine decided to have motor sheath error. :S So I the cancer centre nurses asked me to get it fixed, and I call the engineer for it, bla bla bla...it gets fixed.
Being the nice person that I am (hahahaha), I called the ancer centre and told them that the instrument is 'up & running' (mind u, not intentional, it just came out)
Yesterday, the blood analysis machine decided to have motor sheath error. :S So I the cancer centre nurses asked me to get it fixed, and I call the engineer for it, bla bla bla...it gets fixed.
Being the nice person that I am (hahahaha), I called the ancer centre and told them that the instrument is 'up & running' (mind u, not intentional, it just came out)
*pause*
means the machine is not ok?
Err, means the machine ok dy..
Oooo..ok ok thanks!
*puzzled*
means the machine is not ok?
Err, means the machine ok dy..
Oooo..ok ok thanks!
*puzzled*
Is it just me, or..you know....:S
*thinks*
*thinks*
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