Back to work

Oh no...

The long break is over..was looking forward to more work, till the finger incident, damnit!

Now I will have to begin my uselessly long day tomorrow at 4am!! Drive up to Subang, freshen up and off to work!

*sobs*

Maybe cny is not my thing after all!!

*grumbles again*

ps: had nice dream of Bryan though...NICE..not naughty k? :P

Typical

Decided that I would have to leave to Subang by 2pm today to avoid the jam. Woke up at 10am, felt so lazy to do anything, and realised Bruno, my sausage dog was missing.. So quickly showered so i could go ask the neighbours if they've seen him..

After my shower, as I was rushing out the front door, there Bruno was standing in front of the gate. Let him in and gave him a sound lecturing and took mom out for breakfast. Was craving for wantan mee..

When mom and I reached home after breakfast, I slammed the car door on my left index finger!!

The pain!!

Put into ice, stiffled a scream (damn it hurts to put a swollen finger in ice!!!!!), put anti-septic cream for the cut! Could not stand the pain..Actually felt like throwing up because of the pain! In the end, I went to sleep. Woke up at 2pm, still pain!

Decided to go back to Subang at 4am tomorrow morning instead. Still hurt like crazy, slept again, and just woke up! Damn it!

Still pain!

*grumbles*

Chinese New year..Giggly

Christine and I have decided to call the period of being a single adult..be it permanently or temporarily as...

SINGLEHOODOM-ISHNESS

We thought that singlehood sounds lonely, singledom sounds permamnent, and singleness just sounds grammatically wrong (Yes yes, I know that are all grammatically wrong..just bear with me and play along, would ya??!!)

hence the creation of..(once again!!)

SINGLEHOODOM-ISHNESS

Good night..:)

Chinese New Year..Happy!

I used to hate cny.

Loud mandarin talk shows on singapore's tv channel in JB blasting in an over-crowded house, with babies wailing, kids screaming, moms yapping and dads..err..i do not know what the men in the family did. :)

I would be hiding in a corner, "book" a seat on the very limited sofa and pour over the thickest book I could get my hands on. At one point, I was doing a book a day for as long as I was in JB for cny. My dad used to bring us out for roti canai in the mornings, then we would pour over our books/newspapers, and then we would have lunch, more reading, dinner, a little more reading, and sleep..for like 5 days straight!

Later on, my siblings started working, so the trip would be cut short to 3 days (hallelujah!!) and this time it was only a night! :D

But that is not why I enjoyed it this time.

I used to be unable to communicate with my cousins..they were all mandarin speaking. And they all liked the weirdest things (to me la...I was weird for them too..:)) I hated gambling (always lost), hated crackers (too loud and dangerous) and I hated being called "king kong" by my uncle!! (dat was totally random!! :))

But yea, it was hard being the chindian kid in the chinese family that could not speak mandarin. (Ugh!! hated mandarin!! annoying!!)

But as i grew into a teenager, well, I related better to my chinese friends (although my bestest friend is an indian..). I learned to speak a little more mandarin, and cny turned out to be slightly better each year.

I must hand it to two particular cousins of mine. Two years ago, my little cousin brother, Tien Wei (freaking 6 footer..not so little after all..:S I'm short..and so proud of him!! :D) went all out to make me feel part of the "gang" (he was one of my mortal enemies before I think...being a year younger and super naughty..haha). He has turned out to be such a loving big bro to all the other cousins babies (not babies anymore either!!). He even made sure his "piao jie" understands what's going on, and made sure she went to the movies together and all...it was a much appreciated gesture..love ya darling. :)

And the other would be my crazy baby cousin sister, Rui Wen, (also not too little...only about an inch shorter than me! :)) who made me addicted to crunchyroll.com..:S she had always been my bestest friend in the family. She was the only one who could speak english before (and wasn't ashamed to try) and was very positive about my horrible mandarin! :) She even came over to melaka to stay over for a few days after new year (I'll never foget you for that...one of my best new years too..:)) She got me buying glow in the dark butterflyz..and almost got me buying an orange pants! Rui Wen, I think you're the only family who has ever hung out with my best friend laysha and me! Muaks!! :)

Anyways, this year was fun cuz, for the first time, I felt at home with the chinese side of the family. I actually missed the baby cousins (all grown up now) and the lil ones the older cousins has produced! :)

It was nice watching the same jiu jiu who called me king kong go pick on my niece (called her fat and ugly..aih..poor baby..:)) It was nice watching the uncles and aunties at their old habits we're grown up watching, and so much fun sitting and laughing with the cousins at our "matriarchal hierachy" in the family. The Ng women ar...tsk tsk tsk..powerful, influential and hazardous! :P Tongues and eyes damn sharp..nothing gets by their noses unnoticed..not even the 0.1kg u lose or gained! :) It has reached a point where all OTHER family members leave the 4 sisters to themselves for them to talk. Now as age has caught up with them, they've ceased to talk till the wee hours of the morning.(thank God!! lol)

This year, the family kinda resolved the feuds, made peace and are generally friendly. No more talk of scandals, no more finger pointing. It was healthy. Er jiu's house was big enough to house half the family comfortably (half the family means 30-40 people). Everyone also can, a little cramp la..but yea. It was nice. Very nice. This time, I had control of the remote control!! muahaha!!! Discovery channel and HBO!! Hallelujah! :)

Maybe that's the reason why I was so happy..lol

Medical Lab Technologist

That's what I am, or will be once I am retrained by sdmcsj (Yes..it's name is damn long! lol)

My first week has been hilarious. Eventful and hilarious!

I am really praying that I will be a Microbiologist soon enough. I know that I would have to be an all-rounder in the lab (pretty cool la..phlebotomy is scary, but since it's challenging, I'm excited!).

My first day, I had to learn up the emergency response plans and the policies of the hospital. I practically sat and read the whole day! :S Day two, I spent at the bank..literally..no thanks to CIMB's incompetency (regardless of what the rest of the world thinks). Visit to bank (2 and a half hours!) left me in tears and laughter..too embarrassing to mention here.. :$

Day three I was at the "spinning" section where all samples are collected and distributed to the different benches..Man..Cramping all the tests is not too easy, but I think I'm fairing pretty well.. ;) Day 4 & 5 remained spinning.. It has been real cool...the people in the lab are awesome. This is a new life to begin with..

The winner takes it all-Part II

Yep, he takes the life we once knew together with all the victory.

He gets the easy way out, while I build from scratch. He just continues from where we parted, and I have to re-root myself, and re-build everything. I have to re-mold my world.

It pisses me off, yet I have a chance at something totally new and different. I have to take the risk and walk this path alone, but heck, it might be worth it.



Lard says I am living in the past. In truth, can we truly let go? Can you? People walk amidst us everyday, facades on, fake smiles plastered. No one can run from the past. The past haunts you, a little less each day for some, while it remains the same for the rest..some even dwell in it as it brews and simmers. This chip on every person's shoulder scratches at every relationship this person will have some day. It's part of being scarred. We can never run from it. Sure, masks work well, but some of us do not like wearing masks. We want to bare it all! Why keep it all in? Half the world's population are extroverts..and we need to express it on the outside!

Unfortunately, people do not appreciate this blatant honesty! They try to force a mask on you. They force you to say you are not okay, then they go all preachy on you!

You should let go!
You're not okie!
You have to let go!
You have to stop talking to him!
You have to start anew!
JUST DON'T THINK (Voted the most annoying piece of advice!..useless too)

These people obviously cannot sign up to be a befriender..LOL

Oh well, cannot really expect everyone to say the right things. Some people are, and will always remain, insensitive, unfeeling, unthinking kayus.

It is frustrating when you know people care for you, but they can't reach you. You stretch your hands out, and they do not know how to catch them. You scream, but only you can hear yourself!

So what would one in this situation do for herself? Now that that huge part that she worked so hard to build is gone?


Rebuild. And pray that tomorrow be a better day...
i need your help..

It was like, whoa..

I have no idea how it turned out the way it did.

My first night in my new place, I was tipsy and den woke up to a nightmare! (Thank God nothing regrettable..though I might not be talking to someone for a long long long time...)

result: Pissed, disgusted, and betrayed.


My supposed second night in my new place, I found myself not going home for the night! This time, not tipsy, great company, great conversations, and there was nothing to regret! I did ffk another for this..

result: Mostly happy..confused, but happy!



Looks like it's promising to be as eventful, if not better den Fish Tank.

Must talk to Melvin on naming our crib! :)

The winner takes it all

When I watched Mama Mia, I was expecting just bouts of laughter. Did not expect that a song in the movie would move me to tears as I related to it. All is well, as life goes on, no worries. Yet sometimes, the nightmares still seem so real. So, as twilight is the life story of Fellie, this song is mine. Enjoy! :)

dang Dang DANG!!!

This is it! *forgive the drama...not called the drama queen for no reason!*

Now that everything on the family front has been seen into..the plan is:

Monday-collect car from workshop (yet again! hopes it's finally well...pinch in pocket turning into freaking massacre!!)

Tuesday-Thursday - settle shifting in, collecting offer letter, furniture shopping

Friday- Sunday - last days at home as an unemployed..:S

Monday-back to Subang Jaya..

Tuesday-Work begins

I can almost faint! I have been wanting this job so badly, and now that I have gotten it, I can barely breathe! What if I screw up? What if they hate me! What if I cannot get along with my supervisor??!! *faints*

As Mrs Bennet would say..."oh, my poor nerves.." :S

Ng

It was a full house. Da jiu, mama, er jiu, er yi, san yi, san jiu, siao yi, long jiu & pau jiu, and most of their spouses were are together under one roof! The last time I saw this was probably almost 10 years ago..Family squabbles and small feuds have made it tough for all of Gong gong and Po po's children to come together. Family businesses gone wrong, monetary issues (typical) and other scandalous issues too.

No family is perfect, but yesterday, I was really proud to be part of the Ng family.

Da jiu, the dutiful son had been keeping watch for 5 days. Da jiu is almost 70 years old, and yet, I've never seen him in a younger light ever. He looked so young, like a boy, being dutiful to his father. The "ah yis" had their usual gossiping session while folding afterlife money. Er jiu played a more forward role for the first time. San jiu was his usual self with all the kids. Long jiu was the allocated accountant, and Pau jiu was always the baby among the siblings. It was nice to see all the cousin brothers and sisters together again. All those years of torture (not understanding a word of Mandarin) were put aside, and we were basically happy to see everyone together again.

While we were praying for Gong Gong with all the Buddhist chanting going on, Tien Wei was teaching me how to fold a "jongkong emas!" Hehe. It was interesting (though I slightly tore 1/2 initially.:S). Rui Wen was my usual gossip kaki, and all the younger ones were teenagers already! It was nice seeing the cousins together again, and I have to hand it to Tien Wei and Rui Wen for making me even more at home..I've never realised it, but they were the closest cousins I have on my mom's side.

I felt a strong sense of belonging to the Ng family after adorning the blue shirt for grandchildren, and pinning the blue+red piece of cloth on the left shoulder. We had to "pai" every time we arrived and left the funeral parlour. It was a very very good sign of respect for Gong Gong.

So, on Friday night, while I was down with fever and sleeping in my brother's car, they burned the huge mansion for Gong Gong when he goes to the netherworld. He also had a car siap dengan drebar...haha.. He had tonnes of gold, silver and money..but I did not see a handphone. Hmm.. I guess all these gestures are good, as my uncles and aunties truly believe that these things would be sent to his place in the after world. I just did not take the massive burning too easily. The whole while I was thinking, "Pollution, wasting trees, money wasted." Anyways, being a tradition and a belief, I respect it..I do however wish they have a proper filter for the smoke emitted, and also hope they start using recycled paper...At least it was used before.

Saturday started pretty early. At 10am all the family gathered at Nirvana. This funeral parlous actually has space for almost 10 deaths at one time. It's almost like a freaking hotel! Scary, this business of death..:S. So we started the prayers, kowtow-ing and "pai"-ing (pai-burn joss stick, raise it up n bring it down before the altar like 3 times, and then bow before the altar). The older cousins were having problems kneeling down..Teehee...

After praying for Gong Gong's spirit, we also had to offer all the food to Gong Gong..they bunched up all the "sun" and "wai sun" (grand kids from sons and daughters) and offered the cake, pau, fruits, money and God knows what else..The monks were talking real fast..Oh, yea, the little green monsters joined the blue fleet as well...translation..Great grandchildren wore green shirts, while the grandchildren wore blue..:)

By the time the prayers were done, it was 2pm. Then we went to Kulai to the perpetual memorial park.

Now this was interesting. We were given a toilet break, and then ushered to this little room. It looked like a temple. Inside, the walls were filled with pictures of deities, and war heroes and also depictions of heaven. These paintings were larger than the average person. In front of us was a platform with with a table of crystal lotuses. And before us, was half a pillar embedded on the wall. It had Chinese characters written on this huge pillar.

So this "MC" for the day, came before us and went on talking in Mandarin too deep for me to understand. So the next thing I knew, he asked us to put our hands together as one would do in prayer. And the lights went off.

Celestial music was playing, and a deep voice was reading out traditional Chinese texts (I found this out from my Chinese educated brother and mother). With the celestial music, were the sound of birds chirping and a massive light show going on. All of a sudden, the pillar splits open, and "Ahhhhhhhhh" (like how they portray the sound of angels), lo and behold, a huge statue of Buddha is within the pillar!

And all stare with awe at the huge Buddha..and then...it all goes downhill.

This fellas over did it it green laser lights coming out of the round mark on Buddha's forehead! Spoilt. Soon after the "heavenly" experience was over. Poor cousins of mine, this was probably the most comforting divine experience they've ever had. But it was good for them.

Then we were ushered to the burial grounds. Another 45 minutes of chanting, pai-ing, bowing, and finally we received "ang pau" from Gong Gong, and then we threw soil into the grave, and were told not to look back.

We went off to a corner, threw away the socks we wore for the funeral, washed our hands and face with flower water, and went over to Er Jiu's house.

At Er jiu's house, we all changed to red shirts as a sign of celebration as Gong Gong lived a good and long life! 93 years! He was born on the 15 of March 1915!! So we had more chantings and more pai-ing and bowing and finally...we went for a huge family dinner.

This family gathering was the best ever as we were all praying as a family. it always makes a difference I guess. Mama even managed to get our full family history from her cousin from China. We have a place in the Kampung where the names of all the Ngs have been writen down. My mom is the 19th generation! I can't wait to see the list! Can you imagine a full family history dating that far back?

My Popo played a very important role in keeping in touch with all our far cousins all over. Even the naming system in our family have been obeyed for years! All the cousin brothers are Ng Tien ... and all the girls are Ng Xiao ... . The next generation has to be Ng Chen ... and Ng An ... . And so on and so forth! it is truly amazing, the richness of the history and tradition. Po po, a Mandarin teacher, even named the girls following a chinese saying, Wen Wu Shuang Quan, which means well versed in Kungfu and Literature.. Hence it's very complete, as it's exercise of mind and body. Using this, the four consecutive Ng granddaughters were named, Xiao Wen, Xiao Wu, Xiao Shuang, and Xiao Quan. Amazing..

Having said this, I have always wished I knew my mother tongues, tamil and mandarin, instead of just English and horrible broken Malay. It is such a waste! The women on both sides were linguists! My father's sisters were Tamil teachers, and my grandmother was a Mandarin teacher. I have none of the heritage! What a waste! Even now, the command of English my father had had been lost. None of us are even close to what he was capable of. Oh well, we shall just make the best out of it. Be proud of your heritage, those of you who do know it. It gives you pride and honour, and it strengthens families, as how it did the Ngs. :)

bawee

Bryan, the white Muff and I back in the beginning of our second year!!

I met bawee in 2005. I had to stay back one weekend, and so decided to follow the CSS students to church, and that is where I met him.

*wow, he's really cute*
Hi, I'm Pearly
*lag*
Bryan

And so began my journey with this amazing person named Bryan.

Eh, uni's not bad you noe. Got cute guy man
Really?
Yea, there's this first year guy from Kuching. Seriously handsome
*bunch of 2nd & 3rd year girls go oooh*
let's meet him
sure!

*drives up to college 9*
*sees a lone figure with a laptop and a packet of packed rice about to go up stairs*
*stops the car-grace, julie, veron, julie, ee lene & me inside*

hey bryan!
*blur bryan turns around*
huh?
get in!
uh, okay

And life has never been the same in UKM!!!!

*KKM canteen-excited Bryan*
What do you think of the slides??
*looks at Bryan's OH-SO-COOL lappy*
*looks at slides*
*all green and all leafy*
Uh..cool..
Say, Bryan, you have a girlfriend?
*hesitant*
er, yuh
*excited!*
SHOW PIC!!
*robotic Bryan*
Oh, here..
*super excited Pearly*
Ooooooooooooo
She pretty..
*grins*
*goes back to college*
*tells every girl she knows the heart-breaking news*
*bunch of 2nd & 3rd year girls go owh...*

In UKM I met the first guy that would turn out to be my first boyfriend. And the only UKM person I could tell it to was....

*friendster*
Title: Happpyyyyyy
Message: Hi Bryan, I'm soooo happy. I'll tell you when we meet back in uni

First day of second semester: Bryan, Rubern and I go to Mid Valley

*Bryan on escalator in front*

*Rubern & I behind hand in hand*

*Bryan all red in the face...*

LOL...sorry Bryan you had to find out that way..

In comes Karen, & Cheese into the family equation:

Cheese is Grace's husband
I'm the product of the chinese dad and indian mom
Bryan is the baby brother dat comes and ruins all the attention I had
Rubern is my husband
Julie is Grace's sister
Karen is Julie's illegitimate child..highly suspected that Ed is the father
Karen is also the mistress of Cheese
Karen also has an incestuos relationship with her cousin Bryan

A very handsome Cheese, a very skinny Rubern and me darling Bryan on my bed and Rubern's pillows in the very very new fish tank

Along the way, Rubern and I file for a divorce, much after my parent split.

After mom went away to start her career, Dad tended to us. Motherly love and fatherly love is so different, isn't Bryan? Lol.

My first ever birthday party, the beginning of the legendary Fish Tank (Dat time still in Cradle though) crazy and memorable parties had begun!

Unfortunately, I cannot put up the photos...as it would be a bridge of our *what happpens at the party stays at the party* rule...so here goes:

our humble beginnings

oh yes, Bryan was the party animal after all!! LOL.

In time, our first semi-kinky party was on it's way as well..The farewell to all our fantastic 3rd year friends..

Curry2U's first and last performance!!

A much reserved Bryan...and yes, please do not judge our outfits in the photo...the party was a pajama party!! So Bryan's pagoda shirt and pants are justified (So is Karen's nightie..but I guess that would be justified in any party!!)

Bryan was also the faithful friend who followed me through to re-build CSS (after our dreams of following mom and dad's footsteps in AIESEC were crushed)

CSS's humble beginnings on the shoulders of Karen, Bryan and I-Annual camp organised by Bryan

Bryan and I disagreed on almost everything in CSS, but after many many knocks, we have come to realise the truth in each other's words. I needed him by me in CSS. Nothing would have been right if it weren't for him. If Bryan had not said anything about any decision I made, I would second guess myself all the way.

Bryan, as much as everyone said I did so much for CSS, I really really could not have done it without you. You were my other half in all sense. If you weren't there, I could not have done anything and that is NOT exagerrated.

The amazing bond formed-Karen, Bryan, Rubern and I..had it not been for the drama that ensued the new relationship Rubern formed

And all the goofy stuff we did together, eh Bryan??!!

Ooo, I have to say, the Kuching lag Bryan had was long gone by this time. He was pretty much the peninsula Bryan he is today! :)

Bryan continued being part of all our CSS activities..If I was the Head, Bryan would be the Heart, pumping all that oxygenated blood to the brains, keeping it alive..(Okay, Karen, I'd give you the Lungs la..giving the oxygen to the Heart in the first place! :) I needed the both of ya...I swear).

Our breakfast sale, raised rm1100 in an hour!


Bryan part of my band!!-Josh sesat tho..:P

Joyce (current CSS president) and me (previous CSS president) fighting over Bryan!! (Ivor looking like he wants a piece of Bryan from that end..:P)

Bryan in Bagan Lalang...He organised, I cooked! :) (That's my fat arm!!)

Outside CSS, Bryan was growing in so many ways! Especially into a man (take note, from a boy to a man, not from a girl to a man ya.. :P)

He did not take to much of the things I liked, but he sure tried. he karaoke-d with us:

Chia Wei's birthday

He clubbed with me, although he hated it, and I still ruined it for him the next day..how would you ever forgive me Bryan? :S

And yes, the psrties went on...

Bumbu Bali..Bryan, my other gorgeous housemate Chia Wei, and well..my hair this time..

And Bryan added more class to the alcohol consuption..my next birthday party bash..

From Bryan, my virgin absolute experience..

And the result??

Both trying hard at Amber Chia's lips..:)

After these good times, came the bad. I know you still loved me throughout Bryan, though the relationship was strained since the introduction of the newer people, and the drama between Rubern and I.. Still the show went on..

In CSS:

Somehow, putting a prancing horse and Bryan together is always wrong..

In Fish Tank:

Starbucks..one of the last few good times we had all together

In the midst of all the Drama:

The sincere smiles, with the sad knowledge things will never be the same..oo..Bryan literally on top of me!

Till graduation:

We did not have a graduation party...how unlike us..

And still Bryan was there for the post-CSS stuff I had to get my butt involved in:

Yes, it does say "My Bryan" on the screen..He belongs to meeeeeee :P

Oh well, Bryan is now off to Kuching, after which he would be going to Brisbane to complete his Masters.

I cannot see him off as I have to attend my grandfather's funeral in JB.

Bry bry..I cried like 5 times writing this post...Haha..Going to miss you soooooooo soooooo much..already do. things have changed, but I still love you, so so so much! You're seriously family to me.

Just so you know, the oldest message in my handphone is yours:

Bryan

Vasparov vodka n rum 59.99, birthday party 99.99, missed flight ticket 244.99, 4 girls twirling at ur hips... PRICELESS

sender:
+601xxxxxxxx

sent:
11-Apr-2006 11:51:09

He missed his flight back to Kuching the day after my birthday party...thank you for actually putting off your trip back home just for my birthday..back then u used to be so homesick..It means the world to me...

Love ya Bryan. Miss ya. Good luck in Brisbane! Keep the parties up and going! I shall visit you there!!

*HUGS*

Love ya, love ya..*sniff*

babies :(

This is on a very very very different note.

Sanjay, my 5 year old nephew was running a temperature, and mom had to send the car to the mechanic (AGAIN!!), so I was left to babysit him.

Initially he was fine, slightly warm, but nothing to be worried about. Towards the evening, he started to quieten down. And was not so active. So I knew he was probably uncomfortable with the fever and all. Went to cuddle him (which he usually does not like), but this time he sat quietly. Then his temperature started rising, and I had to cool him down with a wet towel. Since it was near dinner time, I had to feed him his dinner, which he took in so slowly. By this time he was feeling cold as well, so I had to wrap him up in a blankey and cuddled him more for body heat.

So we sat like that for an hour plus watching Playhouse Disney. Half way through Noddy, I tried to feed my nephew another spoon, and he was asleep!! With the rice still in his mouth!! It was so sad to see him so sick, with the temperature rising somemore. So there I sat for the next hour waiting for my mom and brother to come home, while I did all i could to cool him down.

I felt so sad to see a little one I love so much to be in such pain..a small matter, yet it is just so with kids who are your direct family member I guess.

So when mom and brother came back, they brought the medication from the pharmacy and administered it. We had to wake him up and he was in so much of discmfort, that I ran upstairs. I did not want to watch.

So, I went about the usual..reading some stuff and all, and I came across this article: Gaza

Aih...

I was close to tears. Please stop it, stop the fighting, for the children at least..Please.

babies.. babies? babies!!!!

My mom is currently babysitting the neighbour's kid, a boy around a year and a half.

Well, he has a very pleasant demeanor, and is a very happy baby. But ever since his mother decided to send him over, he has been literally depressed! I have never seen such a depressed child in my entire life!

He wails the whole morning, and then asks for his "buaian" where he lies in the rest of the day, refusing food and drink.

My mother has never encountered such a baby, and was traumatized. She had to forced a little milk with a syringe cuz she was worried he'd fall sick or something.

Whenever mom babysit kids, I run upstairs!! I like kids and all, but I would rather be in my room, doing mu stuff. With my nephew and nieces it was different..I could be attached to them without qualms. But with other babies, I usually have a timer.

So when the hall quietened on the first day mom was babysitting this kid, I decided to venture downstairs to watch a little TV and play with my nephew. I was shocked to see the baby lying in his buaian with his eyes wide open and refusing to get out. So I decided to try my luck...Went to baby and said, "Lai, jie jie bau bau!"

Baby rolled over, sat up, and raised his hands!

Weird.

Carried him, brought him to the box of stashed toys in the house.. "Kring kring, hello, Bibi zhai na li?" Baby laughs! Weirddd. Mom had been trying all day! So mom said, okie, get him to eat!! So, gave him his water bottle, "Lai, he yi tien shui.." Die, baby drinks. Like a good boy. Gave him biscuits, ate it all up.

???

Since monday, baby has been stalking me.. Now I cannot go downstairs, cuz if I do, he would follow me, and when I go upstairs, he'd start wailing, and go into depression. Was talking to WL about it..

Don't kill me..but I think you have mummy aura! Wakaka!

WL!!!
*murder*

Apparently I mother WL as well.. *sigh*

As I continued talking to WL I remembered Christmas eve..

Eh, WL, on Christmas in church during Mass, a kid I didn't know..a year plus also, came up to me, and asked me to carry..just like that!

I bet WL had a darn good laugh! Evilness..

But, I was not prepared for what Art had to say.

Hmm..maybe you smell of milk?

WHAT THE F***!!!!

WHAT??!!

Well, I figured, if ants came up to me, I'd look for sugar on myself. So with the kids..

*insulted*

And goodness!! I have a freaking crush on a guy who now has a theory that I smell of milk. Gee..How wrong can it get?? A guy who later one agrees to pimp me in S'pore for fast cash, 10% goes to him..the rest is mine..We figured we'd earn more money that way instead of me pimping him..Hmm..

yes yes, I have a crush on a 30 year old hunk who is in Singapore...

*dreamy smile*

*remembers milk statement*

Gosh! That is SO wrong! Ugh.

*dream bubble burst!*

What is this la?

I want to write my heart out. I want to pen all the frustrations.

Only to know it would not mean anything.

I do not like chicken meat

I do not like chicken meat.

Chicken meat price is supposed to be lowered for cny..makes no difference to me. I hate chicken meat. In fact, I do not fancy any meat. In small amounts, they taste good. But I do not like meat in general. Fish, I can appreciate..not clams, nor prawns, nor squids, nor crabs..Just simple fish.

*just saying*

:)

Happy Birthday Anyi

The cemetery was absolutely beautiful. I never knew lalang would bo so pleasing to the eye. The lalang were knee high, between every tombstone. And these fresh green lalang were topped with a spread of tiny light pink flowers that grew in spindle-like bundles. So as far as the eye could see, it was tall green grass, light pink flowers, with the top of the tombstones and crosses interspearsed around...oh yes, with a really soft breeze..it was about to drizzle, so it was really cloudy and windy.

It is a waste that the only digital camera my family has is with my sister in Australia...Nevermind..working soon...*grins*

***************************************

After Mass in St Francis Xavier's Church, we rushed off to visit Anyi for his birthday. Anyi is a word that means "sir" in an Indian dialect. That was what we called my dad, and what my dad called my grandad and so on and so forth.

Anyi passed away when I was 9, due to the nurses negligence. He was undergoing chemotheraphy in the KL GH. On the day he was supposed to come home, he broke a vessel in his nose blowing too hard. The nurse, in panic, mede him lie down and put a few ice cubes into his mouth. He choked on it, and passed away.

My family never sued the hospital, nor the nurse. Nothing could bring my father back. We did not want to cause any more pain to anyone else.

It took us five years before we started functioning a little more normally. But, I guess none of us were ever the same again. Still, it is funny, more heart-warming to see a bit of Anyi in all of us. Mama never liked dogs, but she is kind to Bruno because of how Anyi used to care for the dogs. Koko developed Anyi's reading habits, and his likes for the supernatural, the unexplained, and religion. Premko has taken to Anyi's involvement in church, Anyi's generous heart, never keeping a cent to himself. Chea-chea (jie-jie) has Anyi's love for the family, nurturing, prayerful and decerning. Me? I apparently took to his temper (Haha), his sociable nature, and his particular liking to parties and late night out with his friends. :P

Anyi was an all-rounder. He was brilliant at school. Proud student of the St Francis Institution, Malacca! (All Thomas boys are to be schooled there!) He was offered a scholarship to Cambridge at 17, engineering, which was turned down by my over-bearing grandmother..(A fortune teller told her that her only son was going to marry a non-Indian...worried he'd take a Mat Salleh wife, she did not allow him to leave her side...manala tau...He married my chinese mom!! LOL). Then he went on to serve the army, and at 20 was the best sharp-shooter, and was offered to study in Sandhurst. Yet again, grandmother refused to let him go.

But Anyi made it on his own. He went on to be the first batch of students to take the TESL diploma (back then done only in Singapore) and went on to be an English lecturer.

Anyi would be appalled at the standards of my English if he were alive, but I think I am not too bad (la). :)

My dad was a chain smoker, finishing 4-5 packets of cigarettes a day. With sheer will-power, he stopped smoking, cold turkey, and never picked it up ever again. When he was in his 30s he was pretty out of shape, due to the smoking. He went on to pick up jogging. At first, he couldnt jog the distance between two lamp posts! A few years later, my father was jogging 16 miles!

Anyi was a fantastic actor and singer and dancer. :) He was part of the Malacca Theater Group, alongside Godpa (Charles Chase-Currier, Tim's grandpa), Uncle Kenny Silver, Mr & Mrs Gifford, and so many more.. Anyi started the first marching band in Malacca with the Pay Fong students. He wrote so many plays and his poems, well, I've never seen the likes. It is a waste that Anyi never went on to write, humble as he was, he always thought he did not have enough facts to write. And he was trully a well read man.

My father was one of the pioneer "be-frienders" counsellors. He would spend hours on the phone counselling strangers and friends as well.

My father a complete gentleman. He was gentle with all women. He would never "play" a girl or lead her on. He would never allow a woman to carry anything if he were there. He was patient with aunties and grnadmas, and he was loving to all little girls. He called all the guy friends my siblings had "sons" and would always lend a listening ear.

The day he died, St Francis Xavier's Church was packed to the brim. I saw people form all walks of life, coming to his funeral. He really did touch the lives of so many. I have never met a man better or the equal of my father. there will never be one. And I am so proud to be the little girl of such a man. My mom always said, that all the blessings bestowed on us today is because of all the good deeds my father did during his life time.

I love you, Anyi, and I will always miss you. There is no one else like you.

Happy Birthday!