SECURITY GUARD
I've seen him at the Malacca public pool every time I go swimming. Never paid too much attention to the features of his face or anything else, 'cause he'd be either standing still waiving each of us in, or he'd be sitting writing in his log book.
Today, I went all out to swim 15 laps in under an hour (couldn't do 20...dang!) 'cause the roti canai I had that morning was eating me inside out!! After the swim, I was relaxing in the lounge area while waiting for my mom to come pick me up after her shopping. Suddenly Pak Guard stands up and walks towards the entrance, passing me in the process.
I watched him, intently, for the first time I think.
His steps were really really small..you know, like how our elderly grannies walk? His shoulders slumped..his hair almost completely white.
So I asked him, as he was passing by me if he had his lunch. He said yes, and mentioned he also minum-ed his kopi already. And then I went on to ask him till what time he had to work here. He said that he had to work till 7pm (it was about 12pm then) and that he was working 12 hours a day. He said 8 hours' pay can't make ends meet and 12 hours's pay helps a whole lot, but he is tired.
By now, i could see that his whites (eye) were red, and his pupils were gray, probably from cataract. He needs to see an ophthalmologist. He had a growth just under his moustache which probably needs some looking into.
After that he went on to the porch to sweep the little yellow flowers (sc gamma-rians...what was the name of that flower ar??) that were scattered round. it felt really sad watching him. Wondered if he had kids? Wondered if he has had any sort of luxury in his life?
Today, I went all out to swim 15 laps in under an hour (couldn't do 20...dang!) 'cause the roti canai I had that morning was eating me inside out!! After the swim, I was relaxing in the lounge area while waiting for my mom to come pick me up after her shopping. Suddenly Pak Guard stands up and walks towards the entrance, passing me in the process.
I watched him, intently, for the first time I think.
His steps were really really small..you know, like how our elderly grannies walk? His shoulders slumped..his hair almost completely white.
So I asked him, as he was passing by me if he had his lunch. He said yes, and mentioned he also minum-ed his kopi already. And then I went on to ask him till what time he had to work here. He said that he had to work till 7pm (it was about 12pm then) and that he was working 12 hours a day. He said 8 hours' pay can't make ends meet and 12 hours's pay helps a whole lot, but he is tired.
By now, i could see that his whites (eye) were red, and his pupils were gray, probably from cataract. He needs to see an ophthalmologist. He had a growth just under his moustache which probably needs some looking into.
After that he went on to the porch to sweep the little yellow flowers (sc gamma-rians...what was the name of that flower ar??) that were scattered round. it felt really sad watching him. Wondered if he had kids? Wondered if he has had any sort of luxury in his life?
"CLOSE" FRIENDS
Time and time again I make the same mistake of trusting people too much, letting them in too much and expecting too much.
When I do care for people, I give so much. Especially girlfriends. When I say something to a girlfriend, I mean it. It started with AT in secondary school. She went round backstabbing with AH and JH. Oh well, all's over and done with, yet I remember how bad it hurt.
Next came ET. That one I really jaga. I was there for her every single time she felt her life was a living hell. She was negative and pissed with everything in life, yet I tried to be as positive as possible for her. The one moment I turn to her for help, she says I only contact her when I need a substitute for a friend.
The killer was SS la. That was truly a sister. Who was just plain naive. This one, I can't pretend like nothing has happened between us.
Then now it's these two people. I allowed them in, only to be totally disappointed with them. Oh well, AT, ET & SS has taught me to let go of girlpals very easily. Too bad la..
When I do care for people, I give so much. Especially girlfriends. When I say something to a girlfriend, I mean it. It started with AT in secondary school. She went round backstabbing with AH and JH. Oh well, all's over and done with, yet I remember how bad it hurt.
Next came ET. That one I really jaga. I was there for her every single time she felt her life was a living hell. She was negative and pissed with everything in life, yet I tried to be as positive as possible for her. The one moment I turn to her for help, she says I only contact her when I need a substitute for a friend.
The killer was SS la. That was truly a sister. Who was just plain naive. This one, I can't pretend like nothing has happened between us.
Then now it's these two people. I allowed them in, only to be totally disappointed with them. Oh well, AT, ET & SS has taught me to let go of girlpals very easily. Too bad la..
LONELINESS
Ah, my new best friend actually. A new person I cannot live without right now. It should re-termed "Pearly Time." Loneliness sounds so negative most of the time, but right now, I really cannot fit a person into my life. Kenny said I need to put myself first. I have been doing that, but it seems meaningless. At the same time, a small dose of it is very very very good for the soul. It makes me wonder if I should commit to Alpha, 'cause I wanna join the choir actually. And part of having me time is being able to do the things I wanna do, which is gym at the moment. Working out is when I space out and reflect on what I want today, this week, this month, this year, my life! That STUPID treadmill is too bloody therapeutic! Hate it! Haha.. At the gym, I am PEARLY! I am me! I am not a mask I put on. It is so refreshing. I can be sarcastic, sweet, blur and smart all at one go! How fun!
But i have noticed a kind of "loneliness" in people too..men in particular.
There are so many lost lost screwed up people in KL I tell you. Empty people. So empty it hurts to gaze into their souls, 'cause they are in so much of pain. They have no meaning in life. Money is their God and richness is their religion. That is all that goes on in their lives.
Which makes me wanna just grab hold of alpha that I may not lose my way too...
Making any sense?
Kaminiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I love ya gal!!!!
Happy birthday in advance!
You are a beautiful, successful, smart and such a darling of a woman! From that 5 year old with pony tails to the piece of art you are today, I love ya to bits!
Muaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, my new best friend actually. A new person I cannot live without right now. It should re-termed "Pearly Time." Loneliness sounds so negative most of the time, but right now, I really cannot fit a person into my life. Kenny said I need to put myself first. I have been doing that, but it seems meaningless. At the same time, a small dose of it is very very very good for the soul. It makes me wonder if I should commit to Alpha, 'cause I wanna join the choir actually. And part of having me time is being able to do the things I wanna do, which is gym at the moment. Working out is when I space out and reflect on what I want today, this week, this month, this year, my life! That STUPID treadmill is too bloody therapeutic! Hate it! Haha.. At the gym, I am PEARLY! I am me! I am not a mask I put on. It is so refreshing. I can be sarcastic, sweet, blur and smart all at one go! How fun!
But i have noticed a kind of "loneliness" in people too..men in particular.
There are so many lost lost screwed up people in KL I tell you. Empty people. So empty it hurts to gaze into their souls, 'cause they are in so much of pain. They have no meaning in life. Money is their God and richness is their religion. That is all that goes on in their lives.
Which makes me wanna just grab hold of alpha that I may not lose my way too...
Making any sense?
Kaminiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I love ya gal!!!!
Happy birthday in advance!
You are a beautiful, successful, smart and such a darling of a woman! From that 5 year old with pony tails to the piece of art you are today, I love ya to bits!
Muaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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