Getting better

Settling.

I have a more fixed routine now. And it helps. Mentally stronger, emotionally healthier...physically too.. Gotta work on the spiritual aspects though..Life is almost perfect right now. Almost. :)


Although it has been long since I have sat down with my Bible and prayed on a passage and meditate, I have always been talking to Him. The beauty of believing in what I believe in is that your God is your friend, your brother, your father, your purpose, your happiness, your everything! And I thank the Lord for giving me the faith I have. It is so easy to just push all my thoughts aside and talk to Him, in the car, in the lab, on the treadmill... It is almost like small conversations with this person who is with you at all times, going through everything you are going through. Still, I need something more solid to complete my life.


And this is the beauty of it all... I have come to accept that my life as it is now is complete, especially with more time in prayer. I have been keeping away from most vices, and I feel very very inclined to reconcile with Him. And it is always a joyous when that divide is bridged.

Just finished Tuesdays with Morrie (2 evenings of nothing to do in my lab did the job. :)). There was an evening where Coach talked about forgiveness. It's everywhere, the hint to forgive.


I know I am hurting the two of them (ex and his current gf). And a very wise person told me that the reason the ex is unhappy has a lot to do with the fact that I have not truly forgiven them. Probably the same reason why there is unhappiness in that relationship. Could not believe the kid left the rally I attended just because she could not bear to see the hate in my eyes...When the fact is, I know she would b so uncomfortable to see me, that I would have just avoided her and discarded the fact that she was there in the first place. Her presence do not bother me anymore. It's so trivial. Besides I can have a professional relationship with her, just not a personal one. Is that not good enough for now? I cannot say I hate them.. I care for them, I ask about them, just that I just do not want to come to terms with the fact they are together.

My ex has gone to the point of blaming himself for what I have turned out to be. But i told him that it was my choice, a choice probably made easier by the circumstances, but mine in the end. I have come to terms with most of the theory of things...but living it out is so challenging, and that is exactly where I need Him for the strength to do it..it is beyond human abilities..need divine help..

But yes, life is better. Life is perfect already. Almost I mean. I hope I have reached the point where I am happy being single and me. Been doing all the girlie thingies that make me happy....So what if I am a girlie girl! :)

I have been watching all the chick flicks, been pampering myself with long showers, nice perfume, facial care... that makes me happy. I do not care if some would like to think me shallow..So be it. I know what I am good at and where my weaknesses are. I am complete as I am..and with this new security, life is getting better.

Anyways, been on a movie spree....watched this show..Agnus, thongs and perfect snogging. Cute show for teenage girls. For us older ones, it is a good reminder of the teenage years..much happier times. :)

Very carefree, and dreaming was about all we did. Lol. Fun no brainer for me. :) The rest are not really worth mentioning...though I must tell Veena dat i have FINALLY watched Dhoom....not 2 mind you..the first one!!


I'm so in Love with John Abraham...He's my husband, btw...:)
Isn't he a darling?

Signing out,

Mrs John Abraham! :P