New Year?

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Back

I'm back in Melaka. So good to be home.

Holiday in Pangkor was so so...

I...

a) managed to tolerate the many faults with a certain family member. Decided that I am single-handedly able to determine if I were going to have a good holiday or not, regardless of how much of an ass that family member wanted to be..Family is family... *sigh*

b) finished Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart, and liked it very much..*recommended*

WL recommended it to me, and after a brief on my sister's keeper, I decided this was a must read/explore at least once. I have to say I was plesantly surprised. Capital punishment, religion, salvation..interesting. Have a read!! grins*

c) visited relatives...long time no see ones..and it was pleasant..though I was exhausted

d) have gained soooooooo much of weight, but I am not complaining! I'm just gonna get back into my routine and lose it again! :)

e) have no plans for New Year..am invited to two parties, both of which I probably have to give a miss...aih..

f) am tired. Been on the road since 1pm! Just got home...at 10.30pm...Dun ask..

nights..

oh yea..

g) so sick of Malaysian standards! Beach in Pangkor was filthy! Rooms in Teluk Dalam Resort was sucky. Shower curtains were dirty! Pool was sirty!
EEEWWW..
DO NOT GO TO PANGKOR'S TELUK DALAM RESORT!

*disgusted*

Leaving it all behind

I’m walking round in circles, Not knowing where I’m going,
I’ve lost all sense of time, I need some reassuring,
But this is it, I’m leaving it all behind.

I look for signs of good times, Not knowing what they are,
Maybe it’s too stretched an idea, Not making sense thus far,
Finally, I’m leaving it all behind.

I’m throwing out the memoirs, And the what ifs, should haves, could bes,
I have found a brand new stepping, To act and do as I please,
Please believe me, I’m leaving it all behind.

I might still be in a circle, I think I can't avoid it,
Yet I know it’s changing somehow; This tingling at my feet,
It must be, I’m leaving it all behind.

So when I reach my hand out, I hope to touch at something,
When I fall back on my back, I hope to still be breathing,
Help me out, I’m leaving it all behind.

I am, I'm leaving it all behind.

Vulnerable?

I was talking to Dj, and he said I was vulnerable. Apparently as a person who has had a crush on me before, if he had made a move, I would have fallen for him.

Let's recall:

The year was 2004. I had just finished form 6. Mei Ying held a party at her place. I went there with Kenny, my best bud. I met Dj among others. The next morning, I receive a message from Dj saying he got my number from Mei Ying and he wanted to say hi or something.

At that time, I've never had a boyfriend. I've never had a boy liking me. I was pretty happy being me. So, naturally I was flattered, but I was freaked out as well. Eew? What a first impression? You do not have the galls to ask my number, and then you sms me like a pathetic freak?

But, oh well, I loved the attention, so I layan. Next thing I knew, I was set up on a date with him without my consent! Tricked into it. Of course I was the most polite thing you've ever seen, allowing him to buy my drink and all. The moment I got back home, I gave Mei Ying a good sounding. So she learnt not to "surprise" me with another "date." Next thing I know Dj smses me and asks me to go for Miss MMU pageant or fashion show or some crap. I call Mei Ying and she admits he is trying to get me on a date. Everyone is telling me to go for him.

What do I do? I send him a superlong message, telling him I know he likes me, and I think what he is doing is foolish, and it's not getting him anywhere, but only repelling him further. I hated him, because he was overly romantic. I hate it. I hate it when you go all romantic with a person you do not know. I do not believe in love at first sight. It is stupid. I'd father believe in fairies!

So yea, which part of me was going to fall for him again? I was repulsed!

Recalls more:

Next person who claims I am vulnerable, is this imbecile who looks me up on facebook and says he wants to be my friend. In fact, I'm sure every girl who uses facebook and friendster would agree there are so many freaks out there adding people they do not know as friends. Personally, I hate it. I hate strangers adding me, cuz it just reflects on how pathetic and shallow they are. It is possible to message without adding a person as a friend. So what's the deal?

I had a grand total of 15 unapproved strangers adding me as friends. So before ignoring a possible long lost aquaintance, I send them all the same message, "Do I know ya?" (Hostility was on purpose to put off idiots).

Based on how lame their replies were I ignored most of them, leaving a few who I thought were trying to extend their "Christian friends" networks, and people who were might be decent. So the second round of messages went out. All were ignored save this one person. Who was relatively a not-too-bad conversationalist.

Hence we talked. I thought he was stupid. His holier-than-thou attitude was a total put off. He talks about how much he hates clubbing, and ciggarettes and chinese girls and his girl friend. Instantly hated him. He hates clubs apparently because people just wanna get laid there. And then he talks about how he hates chinese girls because they are flat. And how he wants to bed a non-Chinese. And he has the galls to tell me if he "pancing" me I sure fall for him! I wished I could just tell him to his face to go screw himself! Ugh. Disgusting and repulsive! Bah! So yes, good riddance to bad rubbish! I have had enough. And he come begging, claiming I am a rare friend who would reprimand him for being an ass! And who apparently knows him very well and more than other people. Dude, if you had a life, you would have made more decent friends la. Please get your ass out ther and mingle! Pathetic!! Gross!

Yes, unfortunately, I am too nice. I only blow when I've reached my threshold, which is quite high...So till then, I'd continue bitching about what people think they know about me..

Vulnerable apparently! :)

Christmas..this time with Wine + Rum

I have just had too much wine and rum! Hehe.. Happy...and..a little more outspoken!!

Haha...Who would have thought. The good guy from Church was decent, God-fearing, charismatic speaker...was just having fun fishing! Lol.

Yes, yes..expecting people to be better than they are is a weakness of mine! :) I see the good, the possibility of better in another human. Believing that they can be much more than they are has built so many people..and disappointed me as many times..if not more..and the latest! Haha...My greatest gift Christmas gift ever! :) Eyes have been opened! The good Catholic guy is less decent than my atheist friend..I who always thought I ought to find a person who shares my faith might just be better off with a person who does not believe in God! Seriously! Haha.

I am not bitter, just amused! :) Well, I did fancy him, of course! Fantastic speaker, smart, talented, sweet, yada yada...Oh well..just not so decent as I thought. Not particularly a gentleman.

Althea and Erick were right! J is trouble from the start!

Lesson learned:

People aren't as nice as they appear to be..... LOL.


And to think I would have learned after AH & AT in Caritas, or RC & SS in my personal life, or R & K in cradle, or GSD for that matter!

Please remind me that the world is not as pretty as it seems..

I love ya Althea & Erick...Lydia..I might need to you take up that offer. Lol.

But, a less optimistic pebbles just ain't me! I'll just keep believing in rainbows and butterflyz cuz there are those who are worth that believe! :)

Mmhmn mmhmn
Lately when I look into your eyes i realize
You're the only one I need in my life
Baby I just don't know how to describe
How lovely you make me feel inside

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

It seems like the likely thing
From the start you told me I would be your queen
But never had I imagined such a feeling
Joy is what you bring
I want to give you everything

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control these butterflyz

You and I are destiny
I know now you were made for me

Oh oh ooh
I can't control it
It's driving me
Taking over me and I.....

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

(OOhh I Know I Know)

You give me something
I jus cant deny
Something thats so sweet
I just cant control the way i feel (Repeat twice)

I almost don't believe her words here, but it remains a beautiful potential...Yes... I am in love with BEING in love! :) ENJOY!!

Merry Christmas again!!

Christmas

This is the Christ I know and love..

The birth of Christ.

That is what Christmas is about.

Or what it should be about.


Why is His birth significant? It is because His coming means we are going to be saved. His birth meant Him taking a human form, with human needs, emotions, and thoughts. He became a normal human being. Yet He was God, and He existed at the beginning of time. He was God made Man. He took flesh as ours, blood as ours. He became mortal, so He could pay the ultimate sacrifice for the human race. We on our own would have never made it.

God is Love. Love is God. CARITAS!

Love was the very reason he bridged that gap that broke communion with God. The cross, his death was the ultimate sacrifice! No more blood needed to be shed. Our omnipotent God died for our sins yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is there at the beginning, He is there at the end. He came for the sinners, not for the righteous. He went out to save that one lost sheep and left the 99 behind. He ran out to greet the prodigal son who took his share and spent it all, and He kissed him.

He is the God who forgives sinners. Who gives hope. Happy are we who have that hope in us. For we have true joy. A promise of divine mercy. Our God is a just God, but His commandment is Love. That is the ultimate. Love. No greater Love can any man have than to lay down His life for a friend.

He was born on this day so He could lay His life down for us. Sinners who will sin and sin yet again. He is our role model. He makes it possible to live in grace. Ask and you shall receive divine strength to overcome our bodily weaknesses. God only knows how weak I am.

So yes, He was born on this very day, so we could be saved.

I am lucky that I believe. I thank God that I believe.

I do not know how to preach. I do not know how to make you see.

But what I do know is that my life is a testament to His Love and Mercy.

My prayer tonight is that He shows Himself to you as He did to me.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Communicating is an art!

Hell yea, to be able to say the right things is definitely an art...few have mastered it, I have to add.

I cannot get how dense people are. How incapable they are of saying the appropriate things at the appropriate time!

When you're trying to be funny, a "kanasai" joke is not very clever. It's downright stupid.

If a person is a girl, it does not make her an incompetent car owner or driver by default, so don't say stupid things like, "Sure u never looked into an engine before!"

If you broke a girl's heart by going out with her once very good friend, you do not comfort her by snapping something like, "She's now my girlfriend!"

If you are trying to not make a situation awkward, you do not go cracking a joke like, "So do you wanna fetch your ex as well?" Not funny.

If you want to accompany your friend to a play, out of your own deed, you do not go tell the other person, "She's booked me first." I did nothing of the sort. In fact, I would rather have you hanging with them than me. And I told you that!! Do not pretend to be so sacrificing. I really do not need you. Easier for me to go and come as I please.

If you want to empatise with a person, you do not say, "I feel so sad for ya. So pitiful." I do not seek sympathy.

If you have a problem with me, you come to ME, and clear things out. Don't go discussnig me to my friends. They tell me everything okay? You do not know who you messing with.

You know, all of you think you know me, but please la. I'm too complicated for that simple mind of yours to even begin to comprehend.


Aih, venting is good.

Now out with the rotten, and in with the fresh!

I still have a pocket and a hatful of people who are still decent. Thank God for that. yes Lydia, Christmas is a time to forgive, and be Merry n FAT! This year is coming to an end. A new beginning awaits...I can see a glimpse of it. And it is refreshing.

I have given my fair share of second chances to people. But, if they still disappoint, it is redundant to make yourself miserable with such people. So let bygones be bygones.

Bring in the new! The fresh!

Ridding my self of all that is BLACK n dark!

I smile again! :)

Bah! Humbug!!

A Christmas Carol was impressive. I must say, it gave an overall good feeling after the show. Ebenezer Scrooge (Darius Taraporvala, COO of Astro Awani) was impeccable! The ghosts of Christmas and Jacob Marley were also very similar to how they were described in story. The carols and singers were relatively good. Apart from the traditional Christmas carols, the sings were written by the scriptwriter John Mortimer, and music composed by the very talented Nick Choo. In addition to that, I have to mention that the musicians were a ver young crew...the 1st violinist is a uni student snd the 2nd violinist is a 16 year old!!


Unfortunately the crowd was a quiet one. Pentas 1 was only half filled, and the people were generally quiet. At the intermission, Bryan texted me something to the lines of "Scrooge says tonight's crowd is very unresponsive. How about some of that hearty laugh of yours. BUAHAHAHHAHA?"

Darius must have felt bad. A middle aged couple next to me left at intermission. No one laughed at the jokes. And the famous, "God bless us, everyone" was spoken by Tiny Tim, I was the first to clap!! The rest follwed suit half a second later...unfamiliartity with the play I guess.

Props were simple, stage presence was good. Lines were witty (though certain scenes were a little unnecessary). And Tiny Tim's little song just before intermission almost brought tears to my eyes (of course I did not risk smearing my eye-liner by shedding tears!!)

It was thoroughly enjoyable. Looking forward to the next play I'll be able to watch!! It has been a long time since I've caught a performance at MPO as well...The last being Gustav Holts' Planets I think...


Oh well.. Me happy! Satisfied that I managed to catch the play! A lil sad I did not get to watch "Oh My God"...Ramon, working at the KLPac, said that the play had even scenes for the Eurasians...LOL...*kampung joke* Unfortunately it was the last night for it yesterday. :(

oo,oo...Jane & Cheese got me a real cuuuuuuute doggie for Christmas!! Thank you!!!!

I'm no observer of politics

Call me ignorant, call me apathetic, call me indifferent.

It is hard to admit, but it's true. The things that interest me in life has to be more real, more comprehensible. I feel. I do not form strong opinions, but I feel very strongly the result of circumstances. This gives me a personal indication of what's right and wrong in the world.

I admire people who have a lot to say for the people. I admire those who have strong views. But I have my little own stances where it is applicable to me, my family and friends..maybe my nation. I cannot move mountains, but I rather talk and have opinions on the little things I can do or change.

Having said that, I have to say people move me. Nothing moves me more than seeing siblings spending the quiet morning together, the undying support a wife gives her husband as he is held in detention, the emotions of a nation moved by the words of one man.

I came across this video, Yes, we can, a song out of the words of Mr Barack Obama. And it got me thinking about our home grown song, Here in our home. I was wondering, why did it trigger different emotions in me? I guess it's because, over there, hope is real. Change is plausible. The nation has a voice that do not fall on deaf ears!

Still, I like Here in my home..:) Makes me remember the good things we can still hold on to.. Perhaps the arts might hold the answer to our woes.

Enjoy!

Yes we can

Here in my home

I love my home after all...:)

My adventures with my car, MAF & a letter to Santa!

YES

MAF is BACK!!!

She looks the same (Red, no longer white...),

She is still minimally accessorized,

She is still loud,

She is still driven around by a gal who has a need for speed (dang...can't exceed 110km/h..aih..)

She burned a hole in my pocket as well...*sigh*

Let's see..

Nov 29
Air cond servicing + air cond gas - RM 100.00
Filter receiver drier - RM 75.00
Expansion valve - RM 65.00
Car alarm system - RM 150.00

Dec 5
MAF breaks down in Bukit Bintang

Dec 6
Car service (Black oil, Gasket, Oil filter, Spark plug, winshield washer & labour for service) - RM 127.20

Dec 19
Car overhaul - RM 1039.00
New Kancil compressor + gas + labour charge - RM 580.00

With a grand total of....

RM 2136.20
and I'm NOT working yet..:(

Dearest Santa,

Did I mention you look totally hawt in red? And oh, no one spots a white beard better than you!

I've been only a lil naughty this year, but mostly good, Santa.. :) I only have one wish for Christmas..could I pleeeeease have a real sweet, nice & rich boyfriend for Christmas? I'll be much, much better next year, promise!!.. *puppy eyes* You will believe me, right, Santa?? :)

Leaving Famous Amos with milk for ya by the Christmas tree too. :)

Love, hugs & kisses,
Pebbles!

P.S. I'll need to change MAF's alternator bearing, an apartment in Subang, and a lil pampering (dresses, tops, skirts, shoes, heels, a new pair of boots pleeease). Would need my Christmas present to be able see to that as well. Thanks, Santa. xoxo

Anima Animus

I have found a person, proven (pretty much) to be my total opposite..In almost all aspect..My animus incarnate!

How?

A friend of a friend. Asked him to add me on facebook. Gave him my number. Met him up in KL. Simple.

If there is one thing we both agree on, it would be our opinions on people. We both happen to be observers of human behaviour, mine innate and his acquired (according to him....my personality doesn't allow that much break down of things..:P)

For once, it was good, to have another person understand the way you think, maybe even more than you yourself would have guessed. In this situation, well, I'm just not discipline in actually trying to phrase it. What I feel about a person, he articulates.

So, as we were discussing, behaviours (ours, not to worry..:P), and I casually told him that the incomplete MBTI showed that I was an ENFP - Extroversion iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. He laughed and said that he was my complete opposite; ISTJ - Introversion Sensing Thinking Judging! At first, it didn't really register much in my head (was busy thinking about other stuff). So I started reading about these profiles..

They were eerily accurate actually;

Me: The inspirer, the visionary, the advocate
Him: The duty-fulfiller, the reliant, the examiner

• If I seem warm, he seems cold. (He is really approachable..:))
  

• If I'm friendly, he is reserved.

• If I'm always looking for something new, he is loyal to the end.

• If I prefer the start-up phase of projects or relationships, he honour deadlines and thoroughness.

• If I only put emphasis on subjects that interest me, he learns best subjects that are practical and useful.

• If my workplace is arranged haphazardly (there you go..an oxymoron!!), his needs things organized (I quote, "I am so disorganized. I can't find a particular paper. I need to organize myself"...put me in that scenario..."oh well..I'll just print a new one..:P")

• I will have difficulty separating work time from leisure, his leisure time is hard earned!

• I like to travel, read, invite friends to plays, movies, etc...basically I have difficulty being alone, he really enjoys his alone time, and he has a schedule for leisure.

• I don't remember details to save my life, for him details is everything.

• If I'm a believer, he is the skeptic.
  

Ani-what??

One of the many profile description gave the relationship shared between types. It puzzled me to see the relationship described as Anima. ?? Nope. Never heard of. So I go read more. It was used in Carl Jung's school of psychology. One described Anima as the the personification of all feminine psychological tendencies within a man, and the archetypal feminine symbolism within a man's unconscious. Animus is the personification of all masculine psychological tendencies within a woman, and the archetypal masculine symbolism within a woman's unconscious. Jung however says it's not totally unconsious..but let's not delve too deep in it..I am an ameteur..:P

Quite a mouthful eh?

It goes on to explain the anima/animus projection and possession..simply put, in the projection of anima/animus, a person unaware of the opposing gender qualities in one's self, would project it in the opposite gender..usually carrying an attraction charge. And the possession of anima/animus would lead to the man acting out in a childish manner or a woman being domineering...(translate into man giving in to emotions stereotypical female qualities, and woman taking on more leading roles, stereotypical masculine attributes..)



It also says that the typical archetypal figures of anima and animus are depicted in the characters of Juliet Binoche and Johnny Depp in Chocolat! (even though this might not interest you, encouraged to watch this! :) no need dl...go youtube! :)).

Hence to be complete, it is said that a person needs to assimilate the anima/animus with one's self...

For Him:
Discover his true feelings

For Her:
Constantly question her opinions and ideas

It would apply to both him and I... He would probably need to tone down on thinking, while I need to start thinking!

Anyways, my "animus" is a good friend, and a constant source or entertainment/study.

Me signing out! Sleepy..

I want to - Part II & other stories

Well, I want to so many things for him..but in the end...I'm apparently only a "re-run." A re-run of his previous mistakes. WTF la..You know, you guys were right! I should not care about him anymore.

How can anybody be so thick-skulled? He talks about mistakes, and yet he doesn't see the most glaring one?!

Following the heart it seems..In that case I can't help him anymore. He will feel this hurt as long as he is in this relationship, till one day he forgets this friendship. That is the only way he'll stop hurting..

Everyone agrees he handled the situation badly. I can't help but to agree with them now.

I tried to help. I tried consoling him.

I was a Christian to him. Too bad for him la. I regret calling him. Do not think it will happen again for some time.

Yet, I still care. As much as I hate the things they did to me, I still care. Stupid really this "heart" of mine.

At the least, I can say I do not regret cutting away from the two of them. The best decision I've made in years!

Oh well..

Alright, on a different note..

My gong gong (grandpa) is very very ill. He is already 94 years old, and his immune system is very weak. I believe he is having some sort of lung infection. Mom got called back to JB yesterday. In barely an hour, she packed and my youngest jiu jiu and er yi fetched her from my place..

And where does that leave me...?

babysitting

THE

NEIGHBOUR'S

KIDS!!!!

Lol. Well, those who know me know that I love kids! Wanting a football team myself!! :P (any takers? I need help you know..)
However, yea, this was impromptu..really is. Did not foresee me preparing for Christmas this way! It will be fun though...already have a list of fun handicraft for them to do...

• silly hats - checked
• paper finger puppets
• itsy-bitsy spider
• face masks
• Christmas deco
• handmade Christmas gifts for their parents!! now that would be fun!! am thinking handmade calendar with the kids' art work in side..hmmm....*brain working in many ways*
  

Ok ok..I sound like a freaking mother (*small voice* I wanna be one!!)

Crap

Split personas

I can't decide if I'm about to be a high flying career woman who works hard and party harder...

or

if I'm going to find a man (I have a few on my Christmas list..:P) and have a family of like half a dozen!!

Oh well..till I have to MAKE that decision..It's all fun and games for me!

To-do list (before Mr Right comes along)
.
.
.
.
just realised it's too..mmm hmm to put here
.
.
.
.
and what's worse, what I've checked off quite a few!!

Back to gong gong, he has lived a fruitful life. If at all I do wish anything, I just wish that there will not be any pain.

Back to Rubern, aih..you disappoint me, yet again..why, o why do I believe that you will change?

Back to ME! I am happy! I know I made all the right decisions since being given the chance! I'm not letting my people down. :D

Oooo...I forgot..I have to cook lunch for the kids also...STUPID BRYAN! This is what he said when he heard about it:

Gosh

Poor kids..

...

I want to

I want to tell him that he can never lose me..

I want to run to him, and tell him that everything is ok now..

I want to hug him tight, and say, hey, I'm here for you..

I want to let him cry his heart out in my arms..

I want to take the pain away so he can smile again..

I want to help him get out of the past..

I want to erase the darkness for him..

I want to sooth his pain n fears..

I want to make it alright for him..





But I can't.. :(

Thankful

Yesterday, I saw Fellie off to her assessment for a job she is trying to secure. So, since I was up early, I thought of not wasting the day away by going back to sleep. So, I went online to read the papers, and read a blog or two...

8am-I receive a call from the company (ABC) that I've been hoping for! I get the job!!! Well...at least till I have undergone my pre-employment medical check up scheduled for 23rd Dec...But the best part was that I was offered more than I had expected as well!

Stunt, I rolled back the last 3 months in an instant!

It is amazing I'm still standing after all that has happened. I wonder, if it were someone else in my shoes, would he/she survive? I have been thinking..how did I get out of the rut?

WWF stint?
AD?
Bryan?
Fellie+Karen+Lydia?
Mom back in M'sia?
.
.
.
.
Something more than that?

Post Uni was Hell on earth! RC & SS made it a living Hell for me. How to survive the pain? The torment? While your ex and your ex good friend dated..knowing you were hurting, and to what extent for that matter...WWF was perfect!
Every night, I'd walk myself to death. Space out. Got a kitten. Barely sleep. It was physical torture..but it did keep the thoughts away. I surrounded myself with brand new people. I drank till I got pissed drunk (and probably totally unsightly...ugh). Did stuff I'd never thought I'd do, and will nvr do again!

And yes, Bryan was there for me all the times I went to Kajang..I'll never forget that one night I stayed over at Cheese's. Cheese got everything laundered for me..Provided a room and bed. That night, I was about to sleep alone..and I couldn't close my eyes without once thinking about the two of them. I was tortured. Bryan accompanied me the whole night. Aih, my little brother..love ya so much!

After WWF, came Alpha. Once again, I was too busy making new friends. And I guess God placed J for a reason. So in preparation for Alpha, I started to pray again after a long long time. The first answer I got was Rubern's change of number..

You know the deal, right Rubern?
Yea..
I already told you, the day you start dating her, you're losing me as your friend..
Yea..
You chose this Rubern..
*hesitant* Yea..
Goodbye..

To cut away the one person you were in contact with everyday of your life for the pass 3 years, felt like one lung collapsed! A limb severed. I lost my best friend..My closest friend ever. The man I once loved.

But this time, I was not going to break down again..Never again...I prayed harder.
The first challenge..

Oh yea..J's gf works there?
Huh? say again? who's gf?
J's.

Was this some cruel trick? I went on to recite the rosary daily. It didn't even pinch.

In comes new friends.. WL, -droi-, Mahin..
And closer did I get to friends I already had..Fellie, Karen, Lydia, Gin Jhen, Alfred, Jerry..
And my good friends were always there..Kamini, Veena, Raphael

Job offer. Learning & academic skills advisor.

I think I really want to stay in my field, chea..
I think it is the right choice.
But the money is good, yet I think that's the ceiling..I won't go far from there..I'll take the chance and reject it..
Lift if to the Lord, Pearly.

I prayed, Lord, it's not about the money. I'm trusting you to take care of me. Please..

Job offer. Medical Lab Technologist.

I know the pay is real low, and the place is far (and J lives there!). I need to tender 30 days notice to quit if I get the offer from ABC! Dunno what to do, Ma..
If Mama means, Mama'll take the risk.

Premko, I think I'll reject this offer. I know ABC has not got back to me, but I think I have a chance. I do not want to be stuck here when ABC offers me the job.
Ok, pray about it and then decide. No matter what the decision is, no turning back, no regrets.
(Lord, I trust You) I'll reject it Premko. Ive decided.

Jacey, I'm rejecting the offer..will wait for ABC..
Don't worry, the Lord will look after you. Besides, plaza blossom looks too dingy.
:P

Rejects XYZ. Job offer. Medical Lab Technologist (Microbiology)

It's not ABC, but if I don't get ABC, this has always been my second choice, so yea..I'll take this, Fellie.
Ya Pearl...better don't reject this one. When will you start if you're working here in PB?
Jan 2..it will give me some time in case I do get ABC.

Yesterday:
I drove to PB to collect offer letter..still stunt with the call from ABC. I had lunch with Althea

If you want to fine a place in Subang Jaya, you look ard section 16-19.
Err..yea..16 to 19 ya?
Yes..and if you're ard, if you wanna go after 6pm, I can go with you.
Really? I would love it Althea. Thanks.

I went to HFK to give thanks.

Hi Uncle Kenny! *relates work story*
The Lord provides, girl...by the way, you know the CSS girls ar? These two sisters...the younger taller then the older one..
Jeannette and Pat??
Ya...could you check with them if they returned the key to the RCIA room?
(When will these kids ever learn?....aih...lol) Haha...Yes Uncle, you can count on me. :)

Strolls to Glory to God..

Hi Uncle Kenneth! Hi Aunty Marilyn!
Long time never see you here...Where have you been?
*relates the necessary*
You are very blessed..

Walks over to Extreme Fitness Centre..

Hi Elaine!!
Where have you been??
*relates the necessary*
Tsk...how is that girl..the small one...
*hopes its Fellie she's talking about*
..the Indian one..
*sighs* Steph?
Ah, yes!
*relates the totally unnecessary
Wow...I thought...bla bla bla
I dun care Elaine. It's over.

-talk about ABC-
-talk about boys-
-talk about potential doctor husbands....rofl-
-talk about potential vacation to Bali together-
-talk about their charity event...Bravo! RM 12,000 singlehandedly raised by Extreme Fitness Centre!!!!- *applauds*
-talk about family-
-talk about Elaine's ex!! HAHAHA-

You're really happy, Pearl.
Yes, Elaine, I finally am.
One day you will be able to look them in the face.
Not yet, Elaine.
Yes, not yet, but you will one day.
Yes. I'm happy Elaine, right now. I'm very, very happy.
*promotes Bryan's A Christmas Carol performace*

(My little brother Bryan is playing the violin for the "A Christmas Carol" play in KLPac from the 12th to the 28th of Dec, 2008 *super proud*)

Today:
Lord..you made me throw myself completely at Your will, and You did provide.
I do not regret any decision I've made, for all were done in prayer, and I was at peace with my decisions for Your Spirit guided me. Lord, I was not alone in my Gathsemany. You were there. You consoled, and you heal. Thank you Lord.

Today's reading:

3rd Sunday of Advent: 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24

Brothers and sisters:
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing.
In all circumstances give thanks,
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
Do not quench the Spirit.
Do not despise prophetic utterances.
Test everything; retain what is good.
Refrain from every kind of evil.

May the God of peace make you perfectly holy
and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body,
be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The one who calls you is faithful,
and he will also accomplish it.

The message could not be any clearer!

Being there

Mom always said, "When you make others happy, you'd be happy too!" Cheesy as it sounds, I couldn't have agreed more.

Nothing beats being there for a person. The joy to know your little effort just made someone's day brighter. Sometimes, it's in the little chit chats you have before bedtime, in driving your mother around and showing her KL, or in just listening to a friend.

Nothing beats that satisfaction.

Thank you for allowing me to play that small part in your lives. Really, the pleasure's all mine..

-pebbles-

ps: I love this video, and this song.."tragically romantic" as a significant person once said about Wuthering Heights



Alejandro Sanz y Shakira
Te Lo Agradezco, Pero No
(Thank You, But No)
the best translations by far...my Spanish not good enough to translate well..:S

Acércate que a lo mejor
Come closer, that maybe
No te das cuenta que mi amor
You don't realize my love
No es para siempre
Is not forever
Porque hay noches que se apagan cuando duermes
'Cuz some nights shut down while you sleep
Díselo a tu corazón
Tell your heart
No habrá mas fuente de dolor
There will be no sources of pain
No digas que no pienso en ti
Don't say I don't think about you
No hago otra cosa que pensar
I don't do anything but think
Acércate un poco más
Come a little closser
No tengas miedo a la verdad
Don't be afraid of the truth

Ay, y cuando llegue la mañana y salga el sol
Ay, and when the morning comes and the sun rises
Tu volverás a mi lado
You'll come back to my side
Y ya no yo
And then I won't
Y ahora vete, vete, vete, vete
And now go, go, go, go
Vete y pásatelo bien
Go away and have a good time
Por nosotros dos
For the both of us

No, corazón,
No, baby
Te lo agradezco, pero no
Thank you, but no
Te lo agradezco, mira niña, pero no
Look little girl, thank you, but no
Yo ya logré dejarte aparte
I've already left you aside
No hago otra cosa que olvidarte
I don't do anything but forgetting you

Te lo agradezco, pero no
Thank you, but no
Te lo agradezco, mira niña, pero no
Look, little girl, thank you, but no
(Te lo agradezco corazón, pero no, tú sabes bien que no)
(Thank you honey, but no, but you know it's no)

Acércate un poco más
Come a little closser
No ves que el tiempo se nos va
Don't you the time is escaping from us
Da rienda suelta a lo que sientes
Unchain what you feel
Si no lo haces, mala suerte
If you don't, too bad
Porque al final, si no lo ves
'cause in the end, if you don't see it
Puede que no me escuches
It's possible that you don't listen to me
Pero lo diré...
But I will say

Que ay, cuando salga el sol y llegue la mañana
That, 'ay', when the sun rises and the morning comes
Yo volveré a tu lado, a tu lado
I'll come back to your side, to your side
Con más ganas
With more desire
Y ahora vete, vete, vete, vete
And now go, go, go, go
Vete y pásatelo bien
Go away and have a good time
Por los dos
For the both of us

Te lo agradezco, pero no
Thank you, but no
Te lo agradezco, mira niño, pero no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
Yo ya logré dejarte aparte
I've already left you aside
No hago otra cosa que olvidarte
I don't do anything, but forgetting you

Te lo agradezco, pero no
Thank you, but no
Te lo agradezco, mira niño, pero no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
Yo ya logré dejarte aparte
I've already left you aside
No hago otra cosa que olvidarte
I don't do anything but forgetting you

Tengo consciencia
I'm aware
Del daño que te hice
Of how I've hurt you
Pero al mismo tiempo no me siento responsable
But at the same time, I don't feel responsible
De lo que pudiste pensar que fue coraje,
For what you could think was courage
No fue nada más que miedo
Was just fear

Te lo agradezco, pero no
Thank you, but no
Te lo agradezco, mira niño, pero no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
Yo ya logré dejarte aparte
I've already left you aside
No hago otra cosa que olvidarte
I don't do anything, but forgetting you

Te lo agradezco, pero no
Thank you, but no
Te lo agradezco, mira niño, pero no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
Yo ya logré dejarte aparte
I've already left you aside
No hago otra cosa que olvidarte...
I don't do anything but forgetting you...


Si, te lo agradezco, pero no. No quiero sentir dolor mas! No quiero lastimado mas! No queiro a los ambos en mi vida!
I am happy now. Mucha felicidad!

This is how much I do NOT know about online games

Hahaha...

I was talking to an acquaintance (I refuse to call him a friend, as he has YET to meet me, and am upset about that!)

Well, i am NOT IT savvy at all, hence the very plain blog background..Odd for a person who's brother is in IT security...hmmm..

So, yes, was talking to -droi-, and were discussing a girlfriend who games online...and he sends this to me:

erm
i dun hv wow char
if she pw i can pk her very ez:P
if she dun listen to me
i pk
lol

HUH? *rubs eyes*
-re-reads-
think...HUH???????

hahahaha...I had no idea what he was talking about at all!!!!!

I ask weng lee...hey decipher this!!

and he understood...

*palm face*

So, apparently, my fellow non-gaming friends..

wow= world of warcraft
char=character
pw=perfect world (another game)
pk=player kill

Good to noe eh?hhahahahhahahahhhhahahahhhaha

Value$

Ah, I forgot to mention..

Yesterday I spent the day with an old crush..Since he does not have a car in KL, I went to fetch him from his room. He happens to live in (in his own words) a hell hole in the middle of the city. The room he is renting is right next to a brothel.

Initially when I he told me about it, it was funny. He has a way of livening up anything, that gem..

But he was still at college when I went to get him, so I waited in Fellie's car and was observing the neighbourhood. Of course, my eyes strayed to that very, very unassuming purple shoplot.

It wasn't like the other shoplots. Most shops had huge doors..like u know..restaurants, and car/bike workshop. If it were saloon or an optometrist, it would probably be a glass wall, and doors. It would have it's company's name bright and clear for all to see. Established places would have employees coming out to greet ya with a warm welcome and a cheerful smile..

But this purple shoplot had no cheer whatsoever. It had two openings, leading into a poorly lit walkway. It did not have any signboards hanging outside it's entrance, just some old banner which I did not pay attention to..

There was a chinese man outside..Thin man..greying hair, white singlet, standing around. He goes up to men to walk the pavements, like a salesman trying to sell something. If there isn't anyone there, he stands by one of the two doors that flank the shoplot. Nearby was a plump lady, who I presume worked there, but more as a pimp and not a..service provider.

Then I started paying more attention to the flow of people. I was observing that place for about half an hour, and in that time, I saw at least 5 men walk in like as though they were regulars. They were mostly foreign looking. One group consisted of 3 men, and the rest were on their own. There I saw a Malay looking chap. Young guy, probably in his mid twenties going in as well. The thing was he could have walked into my university and I'd take him for one of the students there. I also saw an elderly man, old enough to be anyone's grandpa coming out of there. Some of the customers going in and out looked filthy. As much as I do not like assuming, they looked as though they would be definite carriers of STDs. They looked like the people who loitered the streets of pudu during public holidays.

I guess, the worse part was how well the business was. How other people, non-customers, walked pass that shoplot like it did not exist. How we all turn a blind eye to this. I can't even bear to think of what the poor poor women inside are going through. The customers did not look like people who gave a damn about condoms. They did not look like they'd be gentle with anyone.

I am a woman. And my body is so precious to me. I can't even bear the look on men's faces when they stare straight at the assets. It only takes a dirty stare to remove all dignity I have in me. And, to think that these women, probably out of poverty, force, deception, have to allow these men, filthy, savage maybe, to use their bodies at their own will...aih..

I told Lydia about this, and Lydia said, "sometimes its thirst, sometimes is the satisfaction... evil as it may sound... and when there is demand, human trafficing will cease to exist"

I couldn't have said it better.

Why aren't we doing anything about this? Why can't we? Immediately, the first thing I thought of was, why is our money channeled for the unnecessary? My first real dissatisfaction with the government was the building of Melaka's great waterfall in the middle of nowhere in Bukit Baru. It is at a stupid junction in lebuh ayer keroh..It does not have a parking lot for visitors to visit the waterfalll..and the view...

VOILA!!magnificient!!

It does not serve any purpose...not even recreational..it is purely for aesthetic reasons! And, some beauty it is...half the time, it is switched off..to save electricity? And oo...did i mentioned...it cost the Melaka government 1.78 million??

My point, why aren't we doing something beneficial with the people's taxes? Is this waterfall necessary? Don't we have to do something about the asylum seekers in Malaysia instead? Aren't human lives more important? Aren't we the least concerned about human beings? Look at the Bukit Antarabangsa tragedy? Couldn't we care more about people's lives to assess housing project site more carefully?

Looking at the purple shoplot, I can only begin to imagine what life is to them..No human being would want to be reduced to that. The only driving force is survival. In other words, they have no choice. I wished things were more simple. That people weren't so twisted and money minded...too idealistic, but it is still a dream..:(

pissed

No thanks to you, I can't go watch a Christmas Carol.

Super pissed.

Will go back Melaka.

Awareness...a lack of it

An excerpt from the Star online about eye-witnesses of the Bkt Antarabangsa landslide..

"Last month, eight trees fell on the hillslop about 20m behind my house and I informed the Ampang Jaya Municipal Council (MPAJ) about it.

"They came and chopped the trees. I thought that everything was okay then," he told reporters at the scene. read more..

Why are Malaysians so ignorant to tell tale signs as these..First I commend the victims' action of informing the municipal about it.

But sadly..."..they chopped the trees. I thought that everything was okay then.."

Does that make sense?? We obviously haven't taught our society anything about the environment, or how to look after it. Our society is very very seriously indifferent about it!

Please la... EIA EIA...nonsense! Look at this year alone!! landslides It is so typical, it hurts to even type about it.


My prayers for the victims...

My adventures with my car, MAF

Ok ook...My life is a complete M-E-S-S!!!!

Buy messy's good, dun get me wrong..:P

So here goes..

The plan was call ABC friday morning to check application status. drive to KL friday afternoon. Settle in the Kennel a preparation for work with XYZ. Meet Nurul for dinner in PJ. Sat morning, fetch Karen. Go for QRS camp till monday. Go back Melaka (to play with Kamini's dogs..that is another story..not for today..). Drive to the Kennel. Tuesday start work in XYZ.

I have a job offer with XYZ which is very F-A-R.. from the Kennel and a little too emotionally connected..hmm..

I have also been shortlisted for ABC which is a better learning platform for my field, as I want to go into medical microbiology..(yes, yes, i AM a NERD...live with it! Sheesh...)

So, XYZ wants me to report for work on Tuesday, 9th Dec. XYZ's contract also states that if I want to tender my resignation during my probationary period, I have to give a 30 day notice!! ABC's interview went spectacularly well, and I was called back a second time to hand in my application to HR. And that was last Tuesday, 25 Nov.

So, I was in a dilemma. i didn't wanna start at XYZ and suddenly get an offer with ABC and then give 30 day notice bla bla...

Now, I am involved with a church programme, QRS. See, person in charge of QRS made a mistake. She appointed me Melaka coordinator without my consent. And I am pissed. I don't like being pushed around. I might seem very agreeable, but I have my stances, and one of them is DO NOT PUSH ME AROUND LIKE YOUR FREAKING PAWN!! So now, before this unwanted, "unconsented" appointment, I promised to attend this QRS camp this 6,7,8 Dec.

So, Friday morning, I wake up and try calling ABC to find out the status of my application so I can decide to go on with XYZ or not. After speaking to Mr Lab Manager of ABC, I did not get any committment of a job with them, but all I had was an assurance if there aren't any glitches, it's just a matter of time b4 HR call me for a medical check up (which means me get job), AND there shouldn't be any glitches..


So I had to take a risk. I called and declined XYZ...*nervous nervous*


Nervous with my decisions, and anxious, I decided to go up to KL anyway to unwind and distract myself from some painful past I am still hurting from. I thought it wuld be cool to travel to QRS together with Karen as we got things to catch up on.

So I drive up to KL friday evening,and met Nurul in PJ. Just as I was about to have dinner, my mom calls...Mom says:

• bro works in menara maybank
• bro serviced bike and went to work.
• after work, forgets bike in shop..he stayed in office till late
• Then suddenly he remembers bike
• He rushes to shop
• Shop closed
• House keys in bike
• He decides to spend the night in the office and get his bike early on Sat
• He doesn't tell me about it

So, of course I would not have my brother stuck in office like dat. And since i had his house keys, I brought Nurul to "save" my brother..

I reach Times square, pick my bro up, and tried to get onto the Cheras highway from Jln Imbi...next thing I knew....my car was SMOKING in the middle of BUKIT BINTANG!!!! *some happening friday night in bkt bintang man....sigh*

*panic*

Ko, how how??
Hmm, wait la.
how long wanna wait??
Hmpf *mumbles*
*waits*
*sms*
*gets call from totally hot hot hot hunk who was very, very concern about me..*
*swooned*
ok! back to panickin..*panics*
Ko...?
Hmpf. park at times. Get cab home.
*looks at clock..10.45pm* Err..cab??
*calls fellie*
My fren will come pick us Ko..
hmm..try driving.
*obeys*
at Times...
You nvr put water in radiator.
I DID! Checked before coming up to KL...

Hmpf.

Fellie comes. Bro spends the night in office. I use Fellie's car to send Nurul home. I reach the Kennel from PJ at 4am.

HUNK concern about my safety...*swooned* He couldnt save me cuz working at night..sigh..

So today morning, Fellie sends me to UKM KTM station. Takes train to Times. Meet bro thr again. Dragged by brother all over 1st floor of Times trying to find Uncle Lim's. *dying of hunger* Ended up in Dome's. Only at 12.45 we head to the car.

Brother commanded to drive home. i was upset because I wanted to let the engine run for a while b4 driving home to monitor radiator, but I guess this happens when your brother is 18 years older than you. So drove back to Kjg. So pissed with brother, asked him to go home to Cheras. Reached the Kennel. Told mom and second brother story. Drove to Perodua service centre. Waits in Shakers and bloggin.

:(

No need go camp!! Wooo hooo
Car repair..die no money!!! Sob sob
No need to start work on Tuesday!! Woo hooo
Go back Melaka n rot without money!! Sob sob
ABC job still not certain.. Sob sob
Cant stay in KL..cant go klpac?? :( uniten christmas play? :(
Aih...messy messy..

Messy=good..

No time for thoughts, no thoughts = no reminiscing = no memories = no pain..

forces self to be distracted with hunk..*swooned*

Eccentricity

I AM ECCENTRIC.

Proud to be. Honest to God, I am. And why shouldn't I be??

I think we have all conformed too much to society's definitions of norms, dos & donts..

woman
tiny waist
full breats
gym
prada
manicure
pedicure
gorgeous locks
flawless skin
earrings
long long legs
full lips
burberry
slender fingers
big eyes
dolce & gabbana
bigger eye lashes
anna sui
tiny nose
chanel
perfect teeth
versace
fragrant
size 2
jimmy choo
tight ass
nina ricci
threading
facials
estee lauder
tank tops
apple bottom
gucci

I say SCREW IT!

Live and let live...bring on the "Amy Winehouse" in ya!!

muahs!!!!!!
yes, yes...tis a lil extreme..but brave nonetheless!
:)

Words of wisdom from a four year old..

I came home after threading my brows...was sitting in the hall and looking at the disaster that blew through my house in the form of four shrieking children aged 4 - 10...it was a warm feeling though..the house felt young again...LOL

Anyways, my mother loaned the girls a cooking pot to play "masak-masak" with. My nephew, being so used to being the only child demanded the pot back from the girls because he wanted it (why I have no idea...haha)

*brings the pot* Atthay (dat's what he calls me)...I want to play with my cooking pot, but they want to take it from me..

Well, darling, you weren't playing with it just now..The girls were. You were playing with guns with Baba what...

But, if they take my pot, I won't be able to play with my pot, Atthay.

But Sanjay, look at your friends now..Ah Mei jie jie and Eva jie jie now no pot to play with, and you left Baba alone..

"O-lite" (alright)
*turns to Ah Mei with downcast face*
Here Ah Mei jie jie, you can have it..
*head down..super sad*



Come Sanjay, play "masak-masak" with me.




Atthay..maybe I feel happier when I share, Atthay...

*beaming with pride*